Problems Moving Forward

[Sukhpaal]

Hey guys, recently when I've been trying to move deeper into meditating and spirituality, I always notice it almost never works out for me. For example , I'll watch a video of Leo's and I'll be excited to use his advice then out of no where, I just decide to go smoke weed  and please my ego rather than actually strive for real happiness and do things that target my upper self rather than lower. I have a feeling this might be due to my ego's self defense system being activated? Any thoughts guys? Thanks.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Sukhpaal

[Nathalie]

3 hours ago, Sukhpaal said:

recently when I've been trying to move deeper into meditating

Perhaps your will to go deeper is the obstacle.

3 hours ago, Sukhpaal said:

I'll watch a video of Leo's and I'll be excited to use his advice then out of no where, I just decide to go smoke weed  and please my ego rather than actually strive for real happiness

everything you see or hear are like seeds spreaded in your mind. Even if you have the feeling, you don't do that much for the moment, it grows with every step you go further, every video, every meditation, every encounter.. It doesn't seem to be a real change at the moment, like each learn process you go through at the beginning.

The key is to be confident, in you and in life.

If you don't enjoy the meditation wich you make at the moment.. Try another one.. There are so many possiblities, so much joy, don't limit it to a means to an end