Gratitude - need advice

[haguga]

Hey everyone

I have a difficult time with gratitude. Somehow it doesn't seem to occur spontaneously. I'm dealing with some resentments about past events in my life and I think I could let go of a lot of stuff by developing gratitude for what I have learned rather than what I seem to have lost over the event.

I know it, but don't feel it.

Any tips how to approach that?

Cheers

Edited June 19, 2018 by haguga
Posted to soon

[Colin]

Gratitude is amazing. According to the book "The Tools" it is the answer to out of control negative thinking.

One of the barriers to gratitude is that many people, including me were, forced to say "thank you" as children, even if they weren't grateful, out of fear of repercussion. So any time being thankful comes up it is not really gratitude, but lying based on fear. 

I find listening to this video on a daily basis a lovely gratitude practice. It can really make a big difference in how one thinks and feels if used on a consistent basis.
 

 

[Nahm]

@haguga What’d ya learn?

[haguga]

@Colin cool thanks!! I'm gonna try.

@Nahm what do you mean? I don't understand. English is not my 1st language...

[Nahm]

43 minutes ago, haguga said:

I think I could let go of a lot of stuff by developing gratitude for what I have learned

What did you learn?

[haguga]

@Nahm ah now i got it:)

For example:

Most importantly to take responsibility for my emotions and my decisions. 

That the source of love and happiness lies within me although thats a tough one to embody.

That surrender is more effective for me than struggle. 

 

[Malelekakis]

2 hours ago, haguga said:

Hey everyone

I have a difficult time with gratitude. Somehow it doesn't seem to occur spontaneously. I'm dealing with some resentments about past events in my life and I think I could let go of a lot of stuff by developing gratitude for what I have learned rather than what I seem to have lost over the event.

I know it, but don't feel it.

Any tips how to approach that?

Cheers

Abraham hicks is the best source on how to create pleasant emotions like gratitude. You should check her out. If you don't have time for that do this exercise. Go to a beautiful place that inspires you and start writing on a notebook general things that you are grateful for. Like:I'm so grateful for my planet, for nature animals, life, after a while you can move to specific things :I am grateful for my family, for my partner, for my food. In about 15 minutes you will be feeling gratitude for almost everything.after some months of this practise you will be feeling gratitude at the moment you wake up. Gratefulness is a skill. 

[Logos]

2 hours ago, haguga said:

Hey everyone

I have a difficult time with gratitude. Somehow it doesn't seem to occur spontaneously. I'm dealing with some resentments about past events in my life and I think I could let go of a lot of stuff by developing gratitude for what I have learned rather than what I seem to have lost over the event.

I know it, but don't feel it.

Any tips how to approach that?

Cheers

Hello Haguga,

I would say that the first posture one should take for thanksgiving is visualizing what, exactly, one is being thankful for.

I feel it’s hard for most to see just how magical and sacramental this very moment, right now and here, is.

For myself (and I would say each will have a unique way of arriving here) thanksgiving is knowing that the Universe, One Creator, (or whatever you wish to call it, if you call “it” anything) has, is, and will provide all that is needed to do what I have come here to do.

This is a matter of developing a type of faith and it doesn’t have to be in a religious or dogmatic sense but instead it is a sense of trust that everything’s going to be just fine.

A trust in that even in the maelstrom of uncertainty and confusion which makes up the life experience, everything is going to be okay and it is all as it should be.

[haguga]

@Malelekakis @Logos

Thanks to both of you! Sign of improvement: I'm grateful for your replies!

[Viking]

be prepared to get frustrated with that stuff, it's possible to rewire your brain to be grateful, but its hard.

personally for me it was too hard and I started hating it, after a few weeks I gave up, even though I cried at a lot of sessions of gratitude I did.

[cirkussmile]

10 hours ago, haguga said:

@Nahm ah now i got it:)

For example:

Most importantly to take responsibility for my emotions and my decisions. 

That the source of love and happiness lies within me although thats a tough one to embody.

That surrender is more effective for me than struggle. 

 

If surrender is effetive, use ut all the time. Even on the one who is doing the surrendering.

Edited June 20, 2018 by cirkussmile

[aurum]

@haguga

Youtube "Tony Robbins priming". Then just follow the instructions in the video.

[Bryan Lettner]

I like to break it down into two types of gratitude: interpersonal, and existential.

On one level, yes we should be grateful that someone invented air conditioning after years of hard work.

On the other hand, the fact that it's still too hot in the room should make us a little angry, and inspire us to change our circumstances or move to a new one.  If we didn't have a healthy amount of anti-gratitude, we wouldn't make any progress in anything.  I think we should also be a little angry that we were born.  

If someone walks up to you randomly and punches you in the face once, should you respond with gratitude, since maybe someone 5 minutes ago got punched in the face twice?  No, any amount of undesirable stimulus is way too much.  

Anti-gratitude is just a sign of having good discernment and not letting not-so-smart people tell you that you should be grateful for copious piles of poo. 

[okulele]

This is all I ever needed to know about gratitude.

[Guest Quanty]

Gratitude comes as a consequence of escaping inner suffering and the realization that growth goes through pain, settles and again.  

[Dodo]

17 hours ago, haguga said:

Hey everyone

I have a difficult time with gratitude. Somehow it doesn't seem to occur spontaneously. I'm dealing with some resentments about past events in my life and I think I could let go of a lot of stuff by developing gratitude for what I have learned rather than what I seem to have lost over the event.

I know it, but don't feel it.

Any tips how to approach that?

Cheers

Are you grateful for being alive and being able to be resenting past events? 

Place your hands on your heart and stomach areas and feel the gratitude of being. It's exactly that feeling that allows the healing powers of the entire universe to flow through your hands and heal the areas you want to focus on. Reiki 101

It's easier to be grateful about your essence, rather than your life story.

Edited June 20, 2018 by Dodo

[haguga]

@cirkussmileIt's the most effective tool I know so far. It's good to get confirmation, thanks.

@Dodo Lifestory/essence: That's very accurate to what I feel, I will try that– thanks!

@Quanty You mean by evolving out of pain and suffering gratitude comes as a natural byproduct?

Thanks to all for the help!

[PsiloPutty]

On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 0:19 PM, haguga said:

@Malelekakis @Logos

Thanks to both of you! Sign of improvement: I'm grateful for your replies!

Ha, yep that's how it's done!   It's a habit, like anything else. The more you do it, the stronger the habit becomes in your mind, and you'll start finding gratitude in places you didn't before. 

[denydritz]

Hi @haguga. Our brain is wired to be 'risk averse', meaning that we identify loss more intensely than we identify gain. We would rather avoid pain than getting pleasure, even if the pleasure reward is much bigger than the pain risk.

What happened in the past may trigger this risk averse response in your brain and it affects your feelings. You identify the loss, and you feel the pain, and your brain is conditioning you to keep it in mind so that it doesn't happen again (ever!). However, this condition is living in fear that an unpleasant experience may happen again in the future.

Choosing gratitude is a deliberate exercise that 'fights' against the natural tendencies of your survival instincts. Another possibility why it's difficult to let go of past events is that we think the good and bad things are out of our control, when in fact we have quite a lot of control over what we think and feel. Maybe you can scan your life for the big wins you've had and practice expressing gratitude for those events - the times when you were in control.

Cheers!