Not Being Self-develop Enough To Start A Relationship

[Edkens]

It has been a few months now since I watched Leo's video about how to deal with a breakup. And one of the main message of this video was to not go back with your ex because if you broke up it's probably because you have deeper issues to work on within yourself.

Ever since, I started doing self development work. The thing is that I feel like I cant allow myself to be in a relationship without being sure that those issues are resolved. Since it's a never ending work, will I ever be ready to be in a relationship again?

[Lorelle]

8 hours ago, Edkens said:

Ever since, I started doing self development work. The thing is that I feel like I cant allow myself to be in a relationship without being sure that those issues are resolved. Since it's a never ending work, will I ever be ready to be in a relationship again?

I can tell you that it took me 1,5 years of personal development to be at the point where I am able to be in a relationship again. 

Edited March 15, 2016 by Lorelle

[ALGUIMAR]

Of course you will @Edkens!! You just need time to get to know yourself more, develop, grow, solve your problems and instantly you will be more attractive. You won't need to worry about it, don't rush it, and don't try to heal faster just to be in a relationship. Doing it for you is the key  Good luck with it and don't loose faith. 

[Edkens]

@ALGUIMAR @Lorelle Thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

People around me are telling me that I'm fully mature for a 25 year old man. Probably to my peers I am but deep inside I don't think I am.

But when will I know that I'm ready ENOUGH to start again. I can't obviously be perfect at every aspect of self-developement? The endeavor is very daunting.

Again thank you guys for your replies. It's good to know that I'm not the only one going through this 

[Lorelle]

24 minutes ago, Edkens said:

People around me are telling me that I'm fully mature for a 25 year old man. Probably to my peers I am but deep inside I don't think I am.

I am 20 years young and all my life people told me that I am mature. That's what they see on the outside. They see that you are open for learning and deep thinking. That's kind of rare these days

I knew I was ready to start again when I attracted the guys I could spend more than 3 hours with, without being bored or annoyed by their problems. Use the other sex as a reflection, on what you need to work on. Be patient. Focus on yourself.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Lorelle

[Edkens]

On 3/15/2016 at 8:03 AM, Lorelle said:

I knew I was ready to start again when I attracted the guys I could spend more than 3 hours with, without being bored or annoyed by their problems. Use the other sex as a reflection, on what you need to work on. Be patient. Focus on yourself.

I guess in the meantime I'll try to find solace in solitude since it's very hard for me to find such a person at this very moment.

[Ajax]

@Edkens I imagine it would be a good idea to draw a little bit on what leo was saying in his last video.  He was talking about how he had the endgame of his life planned out. So It would be wise to make a list of the things that you would like to have and do. When you are single, you have the freedom to do  those things. So the simple answer is to do the things that would be difficult to do when you are committed to someone. So take the time to do those things for awhile and see how a relationship would fit into your life-plan... Make a checklist of "targets" that you would like to achieve. For example, establish career, get home, travel... whatever you want. When you check those off the list, then you can direct your attention to a relationship...