A big load of Social bullshit

[Jamie Universe]

Basically what happens is some weird social thing will happen in my life, and I cannot stop thinking about it, and it terrorizes me. Depending on the situation it can happen multiple times a day for hours, or maybe not at all. It can also happen with people, and is brought up every time I talk with them, I've also gotten over those weird things with people.

I'm not sure what the root cause is, but I'm guessing it has something to do with placing a heavy importance on social stuff, or fears of being open in some ways. I can also go into more detail if that helps.

[NoSelfSelf]

Thats social anxiety it has many many root causes it can be trauma,it can be that people there are important to you and you need their approval,it can be that you cant bare situation because you have no social skills etc.but everything is because mind gives big importance to this because in the past it could be that tribe would kick you out its link to survival....

[Space]

@Jamie Universe I think you need to go into a bit more detail if you want some concrete advice. But from what you said, it seems like you're just lost in thought loops about how you could have done the 'weird social thing' differently. Is this the case? If so you need to do 3 things, in my opinion. The first is to develop your mindfulness abilities so that you're more aware of thoughts arising, making you less likely to be controlled by them and get sucked into the content. The second thing is to practise making the distinction between the content of the thoughts and the reality of the thought itself. You will react very differently if you shift your perspective to experiencing a thought just as a thought, rather than as the story about some weird social thing. The last thing you need to do is to stop resisting these thoughts that you say are terrorising you. They're terrorising you because you're a) resisting them and b) getting lost in the content. Instead, accept the thought when it arises, fully allow it to be there, let it be, smile, and watch it fade away. And then repeat that process until these thoughts just completely dissolve. Persistent negative thoughts thrive off attention. 

[NoSelfSelf]

12 minutes ago, Space said:

@Jamie Universe I think you need to go into a bit more detail if you want some concrete advice. But from what you said, it seems like you're just lost in thought loops about how you could have done the 'weird social thing' differently. Is this the case? If so you need to do 3 things, in my opinion. The first is to develop your mindfulness abilities so that you're more aware of thoughts arising, making you less likely to be controlled by them and get sucked into the content. The second thing is to practise making the distinction between the content of the thoughts and the reality of the thought itself. You will react very differently if you shift your perspective to experiencing a thought just as a thought, rather than as the story about some weird social thing. The last thing you need to do is to stop resisting these thoughts that you say are terrorising you. They're terrorising you because you're a) resisting them and b) getting lost in the content. Instead, accept the thought when it arises, fully allow it to be there, let it be, smile, and watch it fade away. And then repeat that process until these thoughts just completely dissolve. Persistent negative thoughts thrive off attention. 

Well done! This is a great post if people only knew this their lives would be so much better and lives of their close ones

[Jamie Universe]

14 hours ago, Space said:

you're just lost in thought loops about how you could have done the 'weird social thing' differently.

Yea that's what it feels like mostly. I've been doing do-nothing for a while and I wanted to try out more mindfulness, I'll try and get on that soon. Thanks!

 

@NoSelfSelf I have fairly good social skills, though by weird social thing, It could mean jealousy over something insanely dumb, or fretting about an awkward moment in the past, etc.