lets be real

[Dodo]

1 hour ago, Arkandeus said:

I get it, I try..but its like trying to ignore a dwarf planet made from pulsing magma and constant earthquakes, thats how I feel inside, trying to find peace in the few clear clouds at the edge of this dwarf planet, its insanity

if we were talking about normal girls and women as I once knew them in the past, I wouldve long transcended this longing,this need

not only is every girl women the most attractive women ive ever seen, they are the same time the first woman of their kind,im not kidding when I say that in the course of an hour the human body evolves as space, structure and time evolve too

 its the same with men, men look cool as hell, they look like gods,and every man represents the recreation of the divine masculine, a creation entirely new, never before seen, every man is the first man I see and every woman is the first woman I see

I shouldnt complain because its wonderful being able to witness this evolution, yet with it comes great pain

I really shouldnt complain but at the same time I really fucking should to be honest

telling me to appreciate this divine femininity is like telling a man to appreciate reading about the scores of his favorite sport team, only ever reading about the results and how the match went,only reading about those great games, never getting to see them live, to participate

 

perhaps suffering is what will make me appreciate things as they are?perhaps I should chase women again like a wild dog?

at the very least this whining releases details about my life, what you can imagine can be yours too, 

perhaps ill accept this suffering, what choice do I have, If I muster anger and frustration its all felt by me, against me

I will keep your advice in heart

Don't you have hands? Use your third eye and your hand and there is no longer sexual frustration. I can please myself better than any girl ever could. You can have all sorts of fantasies and fantasies are free. Fantasees are without hassle, stress and need for commitment. Also, fantasies are perfect. Also use lubrication  , unless you want to fantasise about going in dry  

[WaterfallMachine]

You seem to be in the Bliss stage as talked about in Tara Branch’s book Stairways to Heaven. Basically, it talks about that sensitive stage just before enlightenment when you’re much more emotional and moody than usual or the kundalini awakening as they call it.

See it as spiritual puberty maybe — where every hidden emotion and insecurity submerged under your unconsciousness is suddenly brought into light — to force a deep emotional change and revolution to you. Extremely painful, but after it might be the greatest healing in your life.

I recommend you go read books by Tara Branch soon — if your vibration is that strong, then I bet you’re in that stage. Send me a PM if you’d like, though I’ll be a bit busy these next few days so don’t expect something so soon.

Take care.

[Arkandeus]

7 hours ago, WaterfallMachine said:

You seem to be in the Bliss stage as talked about in Tara Branch’s book Stairways to Heaven. Basically, it talks about that sensitive stage just before enlightenment when you’re much more emotional and moody than usual or the kundalini awakening as they call it.

See it as spiritual puberty maybe — where every hidden emotion and insecurity submerged under your unconsciousness is suddenly brought into light — to force a deep emotional change and revolution to you. Extremely painful, but after it might be the greatest healing in your life.

I recommend you go read books by Tara Branch soon — if your vibration is that strong, then I bet you’re in that stage. Send me a PM if you’d like, though I’ll be a bit busy these next few days so don’t expect something so soon.

Take care.

5 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

I agree with you about girls, and they are my biggest hurt too.

But what's even worse is that I can never ever even touch a girl, that I have never had a girlfriend and never will have (100% guarantee). Imagine that.

I almost killed myself (physically) because of that.

So can we please stop talking about girls, it makes me sad. Thanks.

Yes but all those enlightened persons have put ALOT of time in getting enlightened..

@WaterfallMachine

very very very interesting my friend, thank you I will read that book!!

 

@Mikael89

life is perplexing, you have my full support, I root for you, somehow we can win

Edited June 17, 2018 by Arkandeus

[SgtPepper]

Have a cry and get some sleep.

You are creating your suffering by wanting things.

[SgtPepper]

24 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

Easy for you to say.

Try some gratitude and realize your blessed to just be alive.

[tsuki]

@Arkandeus It seems that you suffer because you're too happy . I'm not even joking.

Have you even been in a serious, long-lasting intimate relationship with someone? Women are trouble, but so is everything else.

Quote

“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

Your current situation seems like you cannot accept your attraction towards people. Why is that?
Why can't you trust yourself in this regard? Is this beauty unbearable? Why do you have to bear it?
Do you think that Jesus or Buddha beared the beauty of the world? Or they didn't and became who they were?

What would you do to express the beauty of the world to other people? Would you tell them your experience if you could?
Wouldn't it frighten them? Wouldn't their fright frighten you? There are ways to express love by doing thing you've always done.
Beauty you see is an expression of your inner being. You are the world's beauty by being who you are.
Let men be men. There is no need for them to have their masculinity balanced by femininity.
You have, and does it prevent your suffering, or amplifies it? Do you wish your experience to other people? Do you think that they can handle it? They all go in their own pace - so are you. 
Masculinity turning onto itself will produce femininity in the end. It has to. It is the same energy called differently. We are all one.
We all have a path that leads nowhere. Tuning yourself to the world's beauty tunes you to the world's suffering.
Beauty is suffering when you try to control it.

 

[Arkandeus]

@tsuki

thank you tsuki for intervening here

to suffer because I am too happy, it makes me happy that you say that, that puts it in a nice way.

I wish this upon anyone that would truly enjoy it.

 

 

Why is this such a touchy subject? relationships, sex

I've yet to find any concrete spiritual information , any book or teacher talking about this in detail.

we're talking about a massive need to feel satisfied from connecting with another being, this is pretty intense.

walking a fine thread of consuming another being and connection.

I woud like to explain more how I really feel to you, but even inside I feel blocked speaking about this stuff.

there's something about sexual energy and its role in life that needs to be figured out

id like to give you more honest details about myself but it feels blocked, it feels gross

Edited June 18, 2018 by Arkandeus

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, Arkandeus said:

Why is this such a touchy subject? relationships, sex
I've yet to find any concrete spiritual information , any book or teacher talking about this in detail.

I'm not a spiritual teacher, but let me tell you why I don't talk about it in detail.
The details are dependent on the unique aspects of personalities involved.
There is no way that I can meaningfully express her personality in a post on a forum.
I don't understand her. She doesn't understand herself. I don't even understand myself!
How do I write anything meaningful in this situation and expect anything meaningful in return?

2 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

we're talking about a massive need to feel satisfied from connecting with another being, this is pretty intense.
walking a fine thread of consuming another being and connection.

Attraction and repulsion. Connection attracts us, consuming repulses us.
It is when two people, willingly, give themselves to attraction and repulsion, something is born.
We become a vessel, a tool, for something greater than two connected people. 
When you devour her and she devours you, there is no 'person' that stands above the other.
There is no master and a slave. There is only us.

It is very reminiscent of the work you do upon yourself to become enlightened.
You give yourself to yourself and let yourself be who you are. You remove the blockages and flow.
Relationship is when two people flow in themselves and flow in relation to each other.
When you witness this dance, even fighting is beautiful.

2 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

I woud like to explain more how I really feel to you, but even inside I feel blocked speaking about this stuff.
there's something about sexual energy and its role in life that needs to be figured out
id like to give you more honest details about myself but it feels blocked, it feels gross

It is not that you feel grossed by talking about sexuality.
You are curious and grossed out at the same time. Without witnessing excess, there can be no balance.
Sexual attraction and crushes are means to bear the proximity of another person for a period of time. They will wear out.
In the meantime, you build something different. Love. Love cannot be said. Love is contextual. Love is the dance.

Tell me more about your repulsion. You can do it here, or PM me, if you would like.

[hundreth]

I read your post and it brought me to tears because I resonate at this time of my life. I know everything will be ok eventually, and I'm grateful. I just feel so angry with myself for choosing this sometimes. Much love.

[Arkandeus]

@tsuki

I do not mind doing this here, the visibility can help others eventually

Quote

Relationship is when two people flow in themselves and flow in relation to each other.
When you witness this dance, even fighting is beautiful

Somewhere I agree, but I think the beauty we may experience in hard moments is hard proof that we are beings of pure love, and even in hell we can find beauty,not because hell is beautiful but because we are beauty, and therefore we can express our beauty everywhere we are

I pay careful attention to not follow suffering, except when it explodes when im surrounded by it, which started this thread

Quote

There is no way that I can meaningfully express her personality in a post on a forum.
I don't understand her. She doesn't understand herself. I don't even understand myself!
How do I write anything meaningful in this situation and expect anything meaningful in return?

hehe, I see

 

Quote

 

It is not that you feel grossed by talking about sexuality.
You are curious and grossed out at the same time. Without witnessing excess, there can be no balance.
Sexual attraction and crushes are means to bear the proximity of another person for a period of time. They will wear out.
In the meantime, you build something different. Love. Love cannot be said. Love is contextual. Love is the dance.

Tell me more about your repulsion. You can do it here, or PM me, if you would like.

 

to be honest im grossed out sharing that which is the sexual expression of myself. im grossed out talking about it, I feel ashamed, guilty,I feel mean, oppressive, there's a lot of guilt behind these this, like a sin almost

im not grossed out by sexual energy, I am a being for which sexuality is an important part of my journey, whih is why I'm really dissapointed that both jesus, buddha, or any modern spiritual teacher barely speak of sex, in worst case almost reject it. granted maybe for jezus and buddha certain scriptures were simply not released to the public, yet for the modern teachers..

I dont see mooji or sadghuru speaking about their sex life, and I know thats a sign of blockage, I dont see any such teacher.

 

I live in Brussels, in belgium, here I see thousand of people in streets, I meet many many people, in public transport, through the city,in sidewalks in parcs.

I have this gigantic intuition that people really really need to get fucked, people need to fuck and get fucked.

this is not some reflection of my own mental state, in the past when I was 19 I had little sexual experience and I was miserable pretty much, I thought everyone had so much having sex and I was the sucker.

now im 24, Ive had satisfying experiences and im less "starved" so to speak, yet now its the other, im starting to see in people that they really desire to engage their sexual energy.

im thinking that the next big spiritual guru is gonna be the one that will be able to get a ton of people together and enable them to fuck freely between each other,to let out all that sexual energy flow goddamnit the frustration in the city, on the faces of men,even in women im starting to sense it now, people need to fuck,to have a bigass orgy dare I say, everyone old and young, just fucking

I'll be damned if not gonna aim to become such a guru myself, who knows, for now ill put that as a potential future, a sexual spiritual guru, yep feels joyful, there's potential for it to happen

Edited June 18, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Hotaka]

Here is a quote, it hasn't helped me, but here is a quote (from a teaching called 'Creation'):

'Hell is a beautiful place where you can never be happy. That is Hell. If you were in a place of real torment, you would want to go home to God right away. But here, in this beautiful Hell, you are ambivalent; you are attached. It intrigues you; it seduces you; it mesmerizes you. And though you fear its dangers, its terrors and its unpredictability in this current physical reality, you are still fixated upon it.

So for you, Creation is the physical universe. It seems to be forever, but it is really temporary. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. You have not even reached the middle spot of this expanding universe, so this is something that is confounding to your understanding.

It is important for you to know, should you ever think that immortality in the physical realm is desirable, you must recognize that such a state would be Hell itself. To be in a beautiful place where you could never be happy would be extremely hellish and you would be held there for a long time because you would keep wanting it, believing in it, hoping for it and trying to make it work.'

https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-1/one-god/what-is-creation

And now a pair of quotes from a teaching called Suffering:

'Suffering can even bring you closer to God, for over time as you realize you cannot fulfill yourself from trying to gain things from the world, you will turn to the Greater Reality from which you have come and to which you will return. Oh, yes, you will return, for God’s Plan is to save everyone in the end. But the end can be a very long time from now. And without this greater connection, you will suffer, and continue to suffer, and be prone to all manner of error and manipulation from the world around you.'

So you must search for this greater connection in the world as well, why not? Even if you make mistakes, but if you need not make them, why make them, yet again if the connection is all the way down to Source go for it! Maybe just choose one of them

'Your suffering then becomes something that must be faced, and faced compassionately, for how could you not suffer if you did not know of the power of Knowledge that God has put within you? How could you make wise decisions without the guidance of Knowledge that God has placed within you? How could you not make critical mistakes or live your life aimlessly or destructively without this greater guide and compass within yourself showing you the way?'

https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-1/new-life/why-suffering-world

And here is a Teaching regarding discernment in relationships:

'There are very few people in the world who really understand you—your deeper nature and the deeper qualities that you have that even you have not discovered. At the surface of your mind, you might find much agreement, but at a deeper level beneath the surface of your mind, there are only a few who would be able to really recognize you.

So there is no need to gain general approval, for this is hopeless if you are to be honest with yourself and honest with others. Seeking approval from people from whom you need something is a fruitless endeavor. From an employer, you might have to prove your worth and show your best side, but beyond this, you must be the same person in all situations. Your deeper qualities will prove your worth if you are true to them and understand them and learn over time how to express them.'

https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/other-revelations/discernment-in-relationships

I highly suggest this one, it might save your life

[Hotaka]

You are without suffering when you relieve yourself of a need to change the form. Then you will serve it directly without needing to know if there is anything to change at all. You can se reality simply as it is, for what it is.

You find a vantage point from which you can deliver healing and communications to world in just being with the stillness of life.

You can do this sitting determined to not move, with full commitment to God in order for your distractions to be challenged and bubble up inside you like energy and you look at them and integrate them in the bigger picture cultivating them to higher dimensions.

Your gaze will be more fixed and united then, focused on the nothing at the back of your head.

If you fix on the nothing at the back of your head all day long you can't think about women even if you try, without changing your whole body awareness and posture you can't, and other people might feel it in the room if you do.

You ain't as sexy as you think you are.

Awareness is non-judgemental, so you need not be judgemental of it.

[tsuki]

10 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

to be honest im grossed out sharing that which is the sexual expression of myself. im grossed out talking about it, I feel ashamed, guilty,I feel mean, oppressive, there's a lot of guilt behind these this, like a sin almost

@Arkandeus Exclusive feelings: attraction and repulsion. Being curious and grossed out.
From my experience, blockages like this come from trying to establish that a subject (sexuality in this context) is either good or bad.
It is neither. You cannot make a decision like that and expect it to stick with you. Decisions you make serve only as food for further contemplation, and never actually prevent anything. Guilt comes from contradiction of prior decisions. You may be treating them too seriously.

Is the mere fact of being sexually attracted to someone disgusting to you, or the 'content' of said attraction?
Do you feel ashamed by things that turn you on? Are their inappropriate?

In my experience, sexuality is an outlet of repressed urges. It is not that things that you judge as evil are the things that turn you on.
It is the other way around - as you let yourself be aroused and let go, all of the repressed things start to surface.
In order to be aroused, you need to go with the flow. To let yourself be the vessel of your animal nature.
Animal nature is not immoral. It is amoral. It does no good and evil. It doesn't do anything.
It simply is, and whatever happens - is. It is terrifying to the mind, as it directly contradicts its narrative of control.

The mind gets it completely backwards. It is not a control unit, but an interpretation machine.
Repression does not prevent you from doing, but from seeing. As you let go of your repression during arousal, it becomes scarily apparent.
It is the mind that interprets itself as a control unit. Realizing that is a serious threat to reality.

11 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

I dont see mooji or sadghuru speaking about their sex life, and I know thats a sign of blockage, I dont see any such teacher.

It is a sign of your blockage to see their silence as blockage. There are reasons to remain silent even if you are not repressed.
Finding good, honest reasons for that within yourself will relieve you from your blockage. You will be free to talk about it, but there will be no need to.
Unless you see them like I do now.

[Dodo]

21 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@Arkandeus Exclusive feelings: attraction and repulsion. Being curious and grossed out.
From my experience, blockages like this come from trying to establish that a subject (sexuality in this context) is either good or bad.
It is neither. You cannot make a decision like that and expect it to stick with you. Decisions you make serve only as food for further contemplation, and never actually prevent anything. Guilt comes from contradiction of prior decisions. You may be treating them too seriously.

Is the mere fact of being sexually attracted to someone disgusting to you, or the 'content' of said attraction?
Do you feel ashamed by things that turn you on? Are their inappropriate?

In my experience, sexuality is an outlet of repressed urges. It is not that things that you judge as evil are the things that turn you on.
It is the other way around - as you let yourself be aroused and let go, all of the repressed things start to surface.
In order to be aroused, you need to go with the flow. To let yourself be the vessel of your animal nature.
Animal nature is not immoral. It is amoral. It does no good and evil. It doesn't do anything.
It simply is, and whatever happens - is. It is terrifying to the mind, as it directly contradicts its narrative of control.

The mind gets it completely backwards. It is not a control unit, but an interpretation machine.
Repression does not prevent you from doing, but from seeing. As you let go of your repression during arousal, it becomes scarily apparent.
It is the mind that interprets itself as a control unit. Realizing that is a serious threat to reality.

It is a sign of your blockage to see their silence as blockage. There are reasons to remain silent even if you are not repressed.
Finding good, honest reasons for that within yourself will relieve you from your blockage. You will be free to talk about it, but there will be no need to.
Unless you see them like I do now.

On 17/06/2018 at 10:20 AM, Arkandeus said:

I

On 16/06/2018 at 11:02 PM, Mikael89 said:

 

What if Couple of guys rape you in the butt, would you still claim that animal nature is neither good or bad? 

Obviously there are better ways to treat your fellows than unleashing the animal.

[tsuki]

1 minute ago, Dodo said:

What if Couple of guys rape you in the butt, would you still claim that animal nature is neither good or bad? 

Obviously there are better ways to treat your fellows than unleashing the animal.

Why are you assuming that it is natural for the animal to hurt others?
Is hurting others the first thing that comes to mind when I say that you should let yourself go?

Rape is a sexual transgression of personal identity.
When you are forcibly taken anally, it is your morality is being violated which brings about long-term suffering.
When there are two people involved that had let go of their personal identity and attachments, there can be no rape.
When two people had let go of their mind, there is even no sex anymore.

Letting go is not something you do on your own. It is impossible to let go with a stranger (at least for me).
Letting go requires two-way trust. This is why sex is different from masturbation.

[Arkandeus]

@tsuki

allright, I will give an example, lets be real as said in the topic

I'm the elevator with an attractive woman and I feel like grabbing her butt, a woman that I do not know.

What do I do, do I grab it, do I control myself?

Quote

Repression does not prevent you from doing, but from seeing. As you let go of your repression during arousal, it becomes scarily apparent.
It is the mind that interprets itself as a control unit. Realizing that is a serious threat to reality

we are talking about a person here, so letting go does seem to involve serious threat

In the past such urges could easily be overlooked, but as I explained as things evolve dimensionally these urges become stronger, it becomes more enticing to not resist, yet this goes against all moral codes

and even admitting that im struggling with these feelings, I feel like I'm crucified and reverted to some wild beast.

because in the end I very well realize that an attractive woman can have a husband, can not want to be touched by a stranger, that that woman can be a mother to someone

so I know all the moral implications, I like to do good to be good, how much meditation and chakra activation havent I been through up to now, ive travelled dimensions literally (spiritual brag time )  yet now I seem to be really fighting these animalistic urges, meeting them do to speak

im still at a loss, despite all my goodwill, my hopes for happiness and joy for everyone on this planet, the realization that we're all in unity, there's still part of me that really and quite simply feels like grabbing an attractive woman's ass no questions asked.

so this is real and raw, this is where all guilt comes from, all the restraint, 

 

so how does letting go fit in this scenario? how do I not control myself here? it seems like control is the only way 

if you have some advice for me I will seriously be impressed and grateful because this is it, its as simple and raw as this

 

Edited June 19, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Logos]

On 6/16/2018 at 1:45 PM, Arkandeus said:

im absolutely tired of suffering

its not fun, its hell, its hell on hell on hell

and to all the spiritual guru's and know hows who keep saying that you have to put in the hard work

that enlightenment and eternal bliss is to be deserved, FUCK YOU

 

The life experience is tough - not in any way necessary, but chosen by each.

[tsuki]

7 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

so how does letting go fit in this scenario? how do I not control myself here? it seems like control is the only way 

The mind is not a control unit, but an interpretation machine.
You experience sexual attraction, and yet do not act it out. It is not because the mind exerts self-control and stops you from doing it.
The mind processes your sexual attraction through your morality and the result of this processing is guilt.
Guilt is an information about the relation between acting your fantasies out and your morality.
It says: don't you fucking do it if you ever plan to look at yourself in the mirror. It is an information. A summary.

Your fear comes from mistaking the mind for a control unit. That the mind can fail and produce 'bad outcomes'.
It is the other way around.
The mind interprets itself as a control unit that can fail and spells this interpretation out as a thought-story you are writing here.
It then judges this thought-story as dangerous and communicates fear. Fear is then a reason to over-think and produce more stories.
Ad nauseam.

My advice is: trust yourself. You won't do anything you don't want to do. You are not grabbing this butt because you don't want to.
If you will ever want to grab that butt, you will not fear grabbing it. You will do it. It is that simple.

[Arkandeus]

@Logos

thank you for your input

 

@tsuki

this does it, it feels like I can delve deeper into what you're saying

 

 

Edited June 19, 2018 by Arkandeus

[tsuki]

@Arkandeus Oh, and by the way: your sexuality is not repressed. You see it clearly.
Repression is a blind spot that comes with your morality.
There are many ways in which you can interpret any given act.
Some of these interpretations are forbidden/repressed for your mind in relation to your own acts.

If you ever see other people as evil/bad/sinful and cannot understand why they do something - it is a clear sign of what is repressed in you.
We hate others when they exhibit our repressed self. Because they can do what is forbidden for us.

Edited June 19, 2018 by tsuki