I Am Not Sure If I Should Be Promiscuous

[Guest]

I am debating whether or not I should devote time to improving my attraction skills and pursuing a pipe dream of sleeping with hundreds of beautiful women.

On one hand, it seems like it would be a lot of fun and would be quite the adventure.

 

On the other hand, it is super time consuming and I'm afraid of devoting so much time to a low-consciousness activity. I am a virgin, so maybe I am thinking such sexual escapades to be more satisfying than they really are. Instead of that, I could devote that time to advancing in my career ,education, and self-actualizing in other ways. 

 

I have already set aside time for enlightenment work, so in either case that wouldn't be interfered with.  What's your take?

[Kevin Dunlop]

To me this sounds silly but everyone is different. I have always found longterm meaningful relationships profound and fulfilling. The hundreds of beautiful women thing sounds like Hollywood tripe. Then again looking to have 100s of silly relationships might lead you to an unexpected evolution if this is your intuition follow it but stay open to changes of heart.

 

[Guest]

@Kevin Dunlop  I understand. I used to prefer a deeper, monogamy, but I eventually changed to a more polyamorous person. I no longer care about having a deep, extended emotional bond with anyone. Before, I looked down on promiscuity as unsophisticated and immature, for those who couldn't appreciate the more understated and fulfilling relationships. Now, I just want to have lots of hot sex with attractive women.

[Kevin Dunlop]

Everyone has the right to try things and experience aspects of life that interest them for themselves, I wish you luck.

 

Edited March 14, 2016 by Kevin Dunlop

[reez]

@Saitama Well personally I find the subject of seduction and the psychology behind it interesting, and I tend to put it into action when I meet new girls. But I don't go out on the street and try to look for beautiful women that I can hit on.  I just try it out to see that it actually does work, so I know what to do when I meet a women who I do get really interested in. But I have no interest of just trying to sleep with as many women as possible as I honestly don't see the point in that.

[Nathalie]

@Saitama i never heard before that it can be an intellectual consideration 

Why don't you take it as it comes..? You can stay alert and see what happens.

Perhaps, you meet someone and live it out, look how it develops and how you feel thereby in order to act respondingly..

Kind of living your life without calculate that much

 

[Kevin Dunlop]

There are many different  posibilities in life you may not yet have imagined, as a person develops certian skills they reach different levels of reality and change their experiences from the inside. I for example have been married for 3 years now. I love it, I never expected to get married but its alot of fun for me, because I see it that way, and that makes me happy. My wife is so beautiful that being with her makes other people seem ugly, its really weird but true. She is so sexy that even though I could imagine I am having sex with any other woman I want to (and it would seem perfectly real in my mind) I have rarely experimented with this ability, because my wife is still the best to me so I dont need to imagine anyone else. So how did I get this amazing wife to marry me? The spark of self-actualization attracts those who you want to attract and keeps then intrigued. The other point that helps is that I dont need my wife to be happy - life is great with or would be great without her - believing this sets me free of atachment and fear of loss. Living with her allows me to have all kinds of great experiences, for me sex with women is not the full picture there are many other things that I love to do with her that are just as amazing, a whole spectrum of things I love about spending time with her. For example seeing her progress, being a part of her process, learning together, talking, lounging, bike riding ,cooking - all of it I love to do because the relationship I have comes from within me, I create it, I give it the meaning I want it to have so it is the way I want it to be.  This is how I want to live because it is easy and fun and I appreciate the depth of experiences I get out of passing alot of time with her. Now I am sure that there are some people who would not be attracted to my wife or would not enjoy doing the things I do with her but that is only because of our different perspectives. At the same time I dont shun your idea to be promiscuous, its just different from mine. Human evolution needs us to try different things and get distinctive results. We all work together to get a fuller understanding of reality when we act in our own ways. I would be interested in finding out, a year from now, how it went for you.

[Guest]

@Kevin Dunlop My skills are far too under-developed to be anywhere a year from now. I think it will take a few years before I can get dates. I've never been on one or even had my first kiss yet. I'm thinking I might be drawn to sex simply due to the cultural narrative that you are missing out on the greatest thing ever if you're an older virgin.

[DJB]

Be careful you don't sucumb to the fantasy of the perfect sexual partner that no real person can possibly live up to. This is a real danger of seeking lots of sexual encounters. You get lost in the fantasy and stop seeing people as anything more than sexual objects. This makes it very difficult to have a loving relationship later on as sex and porn addictions tend to take over. Also, look to the emotional reasons inside for the desire to have lots of sexual partners. According to lot of psychiatrists and psychotherapists, more than 50 sexual partners indicates some form of sexual addiction resulting from insecure attachment, abuse or emotional neglect in childhood.

Edited March 15, 2016 by DJB

[Guest]

@DJB I am a virgin, so its hard for me to say how much sex I really want, if any. Also, I don't plan on having any loving relationships later on, but I see that is a valid point in case I were to change my mind.

[reez]

@Saitama I DO NOT think you should start learning "seduction" just because it is a cultural thing and "sex is good".

You should learn it (only if you want to) in order to improve yourself with the other gender. So that if/when you meet that "special one" you will have a good chance of getting together with her. Or to be able to satisfy her when you start having sex. 

I don't know how old you are, but being a virgin/not getting kissed is NOT a big deal. I would say that if you take action against your anxiety, you can start getting dates within a month. Are you masturbating to porn? If then you might wanna have some kind of relationship with women. Whether it's ONS or relationships.

[Guest]

@reez I quit PMO and am doing NoFap. The point I'm trying to make is that I don't really understand why I am doing this. Part of me feels like this is a legitimate desire, but I think it might just be the cultural pressure. Also, I don't believe in "the one", but I suppose you might have just meant someone compatible. As of now, I don' t really see myself getting into a relationship, and I'm not sure if long term relationships are even a thing for me. I've never met a single person I have been compatible with enough for a relationship, but maybe that's just past anxiety.

[reez]

@Saitama Not sure what PMO is..

Desire is a legitimate desire, we humans are created to have sex with each other and therefore it is a human desire (physical) to feel lust.

I have never felt like there is "The One" for me - yet. I have felt an attraction to certain girls, but not someone who truly stands out. But I am sure there is someone out there that I can think of as my wife. And I'll just know it's "her".

There is nothing saying you have to be ready for a relationship JUST NOW. But the knowledge you'll get from taking action and stepping outside your comfort zone at this moment, can bring invaluable knowledge when you find a women you are attracted to and might wanna get together with.

[Guest]

PMO is Porn-Masturbation-Orgasm.

I personally don't think I'm a fan of monogamy. I think I'd prefer multiple girls at once,but who knows.

[reez]

@Saitama Read "The Ethical Slut"

[Emerald]

On March 14, 2016 at 1:59 AM, Saitama said:

I am debating whether or not I should devote time to improving my attraction skills and pursuing a pipe dream of sleeping with hundreds of beautiful women.

On one hand, it seems like it would be a lot of fun and would be quite the adventure.

 

On the other hand, it is super time consuming and I'm afraid of devoting so much time to a low-consciousness activity. I am a virgin, so maybe I am thinking such sexual escapades to be more satisfying than they really are. Instead of that, I could devote that time to advancing in my career ,education, and self-actualizing in other ways. 

 

I have already set aside time for enlightenment work, so in either case that wouldn't be interfered with.  What's your take?

I recommend setting a goal of sleeping with 10 women, and see how you feel afterward. When I was 20, I had a promiscuous jag that lasted only a couple months. I am a woman, so this was very easy to achieve. So, the thrill of conquest just isn't there, because (generally speaking) most men are easy and don't really have high standards for who they sleep with. There's no challenge or self-esteem boost that comes with it, like a man might have when sleeping with an attractive woman. Plus, society tends to frown more on women exploring their sexuality in that way. So, my experiences may be very different from yours.

But I had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with my very first boyfriend, so I wanted to experience what it was like to be with different partners. So, making up for lost time, I slept with six men. The first time or two it was exciting but lost meaning quickly afterward. I'm glad for the experience because I now know what it is like, and I know that I don't want it. Now that I am married, I don't have to wonder what it would be like. So, you might find yourself in the same position after having had a good handful of partners. It's really not that much fun and it becomes a shallow enjoyment... at least from my experience. 

But I wouldn't set a goal of sleeping with 100 women. That feels pretty neurotic, and like you'd be having sex to feel a sense of worth and to improve self-esteem. From this mindset, it's going to feel a bit depressing. If you want to do it, do it for enjoyment and experience, not for notches on your belt.

So, my recommendation is to focus on your studies, but also experiment whenever the opportunity strikes. I see no reason why you shouldn't do both. 

[Guest]

@Saitama Fuck 100 women. Don't listen to anyone telling you something different, especially not women who have no idea of the experience themselves. Like Wilkins said, most men are horny and desperate and way too easy, every women can have 97% of the men. Because they are weak pathetic bitches. Women cannot tell you what to do. But if you sleep as man with 100 women then that's a fucking achievement. It will be an epic experience and huge growth. The BEST part is that you yourself will break out of the matrix of society in the process. At the end you will not be a huge pussy anymore who sleeps with every dirty skunk that talks to him, you will have so much options and choices that you only will take 10/10s and ignore all the lower girls. You will be an alpha man and for most women unreachable. You will be what a real man is supposed to be. And not a free dick for every 4/10 bitch.

I can imagine weak, suffering egos will be offendet by this post. But anyway, I know it will help you @Saitama

Edited March 16, 2016 by Rasmus

[Guest]

@Emerald Wilkins Thank you for the advice! I know this sounds pretty neurotic, but it's just that I have 0 skills with women and thought it would be a fun challenge to become a master through effort. I don't think of sex as a conquest, just a fun opportunity that I can't have yet due to my lack of ability, which I am working on.

 

@Rasmus

I am actually a virgin, simply because I prefer not to have sex unless it is with someone I am highly attracted to. That being said, I have no seduction skill whatsoever. I think this sounds like fun,but I am not doing it for the confidence boost so much as the appeal of overcoming a huge, huge personal weakness. There's never been a girl I liked that didn't reject me. Someday, I hope to overcome that.

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Saitama said:

@Emerald Wilkins Thank you for the advice! I know this sounds pretty neurotic, but it's just that I have 0 skills with women and thought it would be a fun challenge to become a master through effort. I don't think of sex as a conquest, just a fun opportunity that I can't have yet due to my lack of ability, which I am working on.

Then, I would say, go for it but don't neglect your studies. Have fun.  

[Guest]

@Emerald Wilkins Oh yes, I didn't plan on neglecting them, I was just thinking I might just devote all my time to them and enlightenment instead of spending time on my weakness.