my reality is shattering a little, how to go about it?

[Viking]

I think its caused by the kriya, since it started to happen just recently and i didnt start anything new except that.

Its really subtle and hard to describe what i feel, im not sure if i feel anything myself, ill do my best to describe.its sort of like im becoming conscious of stuff i wasnt before, but not in the ordinary way.

im located usually in lecture halls, in my dorm, or in between. all of those places have a certain "atmosphere" to them that is fairly consistent on thr short term, but changes with time. for example my room can look 100 different ways in my mind, but usually its only one of them.

im starting to doubt my thoughts and memories without deliberately doing it, it just happens.

sometimes my "consciousness" is not like the usual, i dont know how to describe it. 

sometimes i feel a little fear when that stuff happens. i fear im going crazy or psychotic sometimes and that thought reinforces my attention of my consciousness.

i guess i could kind of compare it with lsd just a little bit. i feel like some stuff seems "cooler" or "more interesting" like music on lsd, but very subtly.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Viking

[cetus]

1 minute ago, Viking said:

sometimes my "consciousness" is not like the usual, i dont know how to describe it. 

@Viking That's nothing. Sometimes "my consciousness" feels as if it's floating around outside of me. Have you experienced that ? It happens from time to time and it's a bit freaky. Well, the first time anyway. Now I welcome it when it happens. It's not quite an out of body experiance but close to it. Whatever comes don't label it. Just go with it while it lasts.

[Viking]

Just now, cetus56 said:

@Viking That's nothing. Sometimes "my consciousness" feels as if it's floating around outside of me. Have you experienced that ? It happens from time to time and it's a bit freaky. Well, the first time anyway. Now I welcome it when it happens. It's not quite an out of body experiance but close to it. Whatever comes don't label it. Just go with it while it lasts.

ok, thanks

[cetus]

@Viking If I am reading you correctly what your saying is reality sometimes feels a bit Surreal?

 

[Viking]

8 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Viking If I am reading you correctly what your saying is reality sometimes feels a bit Surreal?

 

yeah, not ordinary

[cetus]

@Viking You gotta ask yourself what is ordinary? Is your "ordinary" the same as someone else's ordinary. Maybe we each experiance reality a bit differently than one another. Maybe there is no ordinary and you are starting to realize that within direct experiance.

I must not be awake for everything looks to me as it has never before. Or maybe I'm awake for the first time and all that was before was just a dream.

[Viking]

13 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Viking You gotta ask yourself what is ordinary? Is your "ordinary" the same as someone else's ordinary. Maybe we each experiance reality a bit differently than one another. Maybe there is no ordinary and you are starting to realize that within direct experiance.

I must be in a dream for everything looks to me as it has never looked before. Or maybe I'm awake for the first time and all that was before was just a dream.

yeah, I know that, just the shift makes uncomfortable feelings in the body/anxiety.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Viking

[Faceless]

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Edited June 12, 2018 by Faceless

[cetus]

@Viking Knowing something and directly experiencing it are two completely different things. How much do you know about skydiving for instance. See the difference between knowing about skydiving and actual skydiving. Just as with  skydiving the more familiar you become with the direct experiance the less body/anxiety there will be.