i dont know if meditation can solve my problem

[johntimber]

Hi  guys.

I feel like a have a cognitive disability. I mean when im with my friends and talk about my problems they are so peacefull and in sync with themselves, they know if something is wrong and everything. But me, after talking to them today i realized how much better they are than me. Honestly. Their coping mechanisms are so much more developed than mine. I mean these people talk about riding their emotions naturaly without even training mainfullness. Me on the otherhand i feel like i have no concsiouss controll over anything, i feel like a victim of my own emotions. Im aware that i have a huge problem, sure i dont have depression but i feel like i have no choice over anything, i want to be authentic but i dont know how. I dont know myself on any level whatsoever almost as if i have no soul. I feel like idont have the capacity to be authentic, and that i wont ever know why. I just dont know what to say or do. It is so difficult to put my problem into words. I feel like an emty shell. And honestly now it feels like im going crazy. Im not living life. I dont really honestly know what im living. And if i tell this to a shrink they probably wont know either. I honestly think im doomed. 
Meditation has kind of stoped working for me even though i try to remain mindfull of my actions throughout the day. I dont know nothing anymore. Meditation sounds like it is for me, but i doubt it very much. I dont know if i will ever be true to myself in this lifetime. I have never been for the last 21 years, i dont know what my authentic self feels like..

Please help

I didn't find the right solution from the internet.

References:

https://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4151
Creative Marketing Company

Thanks
 

[NoSelfSelf]

Thats good now you can start to learn about what you just asked dont assume you should have known it by now(yourself) like others(you dont know if they do) many people think they are controling and everything else they are just neurotic and hiding it...

[Ether]

No, it cant. I just dropped my medication because it gave me tons of side effects. Dont do it.

[Rilles]

@Ether Good, dont drop mediTation bOi!

[Ether]

Just now, Rilles said:

@Ether Good, dont drop mediTation bOi!

oKaY, i dIdNt pLaN On tO

[cetus]

@johntimber Hey John. First off, welcome to the forum. Let me start by saying you seem to be kind of hard on yourself. I'd say first you need to find compassion for yourself. The second thing that is a question is -do you know who you really are? I mean really know? These friends that you compare yourself to do they really know who they are? Or could that be no more than a projection of a fictional image they have invented about themselves? You say you feel as if you have no soul. Maybe you need to find your soul or as we call it around here "pure beingness". You could think of it as your original face. Not the masks we live behind but the real deal of what you really are. To find that you must go back. Go back the way you came. This you must find first. Than you will see from that place what is authentic and what is not.

[Salvijus]

@johntimbertry this.

See if you can describe how you feel right now. Words like good, bad and normal doesn't count. 

If you can't then there's your whole problem. You need to increase your ability to feel your emotions.

If I used an analogy. It's like for a musician to be a good player he needs a good hearing ability. In the same way you need to improve your ears for emotions, then you will see, you will be like a jazz musician in every situation. Always flexible, always able to improvize because he has good hearing. Relationships are like improvization. 

Noted: I'm not even sure that's what you've asked :D. 

 

[Nahm]

@johntimber Meditation is a break from these demeaning thoughts of self, and a chance to change this. When did you learn to think ill of self? When did you begin to think reality is serious? 

[PsiloPutty]

Some great advice has already been posted. I would think meditation would help to settle your mind, but you said it doesn't. What about exercise? Sounds like you're down in the dumps, and you first have to get out of that funk in order to see things more clearly. It might feel forced, but that doesn't matter.....get a kickass sweat going for 20 mins or so. Just a treadmill if nothing else. That'll put you in a better frame of mind and a better mood. Sorry you're hurting, man.

[BuddhaTree]

On 6/12/2018 at 7:23 AM, johntimber said:

Hi  guys.

I feel like a have a cognitive disability. I mean when im with my friends and talk about my problems they are so peacefull and in sync with themselves, they know if something is wrong and everything. But me, after talking to them today i realized how much better they are than me. Honestly. Their coping mechanisms are so much more developed than mine. I mean these people talk about riding their emotions naturaly without even training mainfullness. Me on the otherhand i feel like i have no concsiouss controll over anything, i feel like a victim of my own emotions. Im aware that i have a huge problem, sure i dont have depression but i feel like i have no choice over anything, i want to be authentic but i dont know how. I dont know myself on any level whatsoever almost as if i have no soul. I feel like idont have the capacity to be authentic, and that i wont ever know why. I just dont know what to say or do. It is so difficult to put my problem into words. I feel like an emty shell. And honestly now it feels like im going crazy. Im not living life. I dont really honestly know what im living. And if i tell this to a shrink they probably wont know either. I honestly think im doomed. 
Meditation has kind of stoped working for me even though i try to remain mindfull of my actions throughout the day. I dont know nothing anymore. Meditation sounds like it is for me, but i doubt it very much. I dont know if i will ever be true to myself in this lifetime. I have never been for the last 21 years, i dont know what my authentic self feels like..

Please help

I didn't find the right solution from the internet.

References:

https://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4151
Creative Marketing Company

Thanks
 

 

I read carefully everything you wrote here and I see that you are aware of the power that emotions have over you. And that knowledge is a great start.

You said that you meditate, but as I don't know which meditation you are doing, I suggest you stop it and try Kriya Yoga. It works great for me and for many people in this forum. Or if you wish to do something more simple, you can meditate by becoming aware of your breathing. Witness only your inspirations and exhalations, following them without trying to control them.

If during this meditation (or Kriya Yoga), some thought or emotion arises and wants to grab your attention, remember and be aware that you are witnessing it. So, if you are observing it, it cannot be you. You are consciousness itself.

Take these situations as opportunities to begin to disidentify yourself with your thoughts and emotions and you will see for yourself that they will begin to lose their power. Don't believe in thoughts, in judgments, or in anything your mind tells you. These thoughts and emotions are not you. They just happen to you.