Intense anxiety and seeking for validation

[D13g0]

I've been working on my social skills especially with women. I've been doing cold approach usually on the street or wherever I can. I love it. It makes me feel alive.
I also think my life purpose is related to this. However most of the time I start feeling really really anxious since the moment I wake up in the morning just because I know I'm gonna do it in the afternoon. The anxiety usually increases when I'm about to start. It often gets unbearable. I feel like I'm about to die. you might say it's pretty normal because it's something very challenging for almost everyone but I face this problem too often to think that's just normal. If a girl doesn't text me back my day is ruined, maybe even the day after. If she texts me my day is great. I'm tired of living like this. I really don't what to do. When I experience this I'm not able to do anything else in life. I feel so bad that I just wanna leave my body. This type of anxiety can't be normal. I've been told "just have more options, get more girls and the problem will disappear". I don't think the problem is in the external environment, it's more an inner game. I must have some kind of very strong unconscious beliefs that hold me back so bad. I hope I explained myself well.

Any suggestions?

thank you so much

[Just Do Nothing]

Hi there, 

Personally I would advise that if you are not comfortable doing this and it does not feel natural to your conscious then avoid doing it.  That does not mean not  do it at all but only so it if your feeling it you will become more confident this way and the conversations should flow naturally.

We are all independent based on our knowledge and experiences and naturally our characters are defined by this. If you are not confident speaking to females then perhaps that’s the way it should be in order for you to attract the right lady. 

I would recommend self development where your focus is setting yourself free from desires and expectations. The ladies are good at detecting energy from us men and they really appreciate detecting that a man does not pursuit for romance or lust over them. 

A lot of anxiety is never a good thing but trust me brother that a certain degree of anxiety is required by each and every one of us in order for the universe to balance. 

Just do you! Be more confident in you! 

 

[KenDo]

Yo! I think you gotta work on yourself with lots of self development. If you are the kind of person you dream of being then you won't worry about a girl not liking you. Also you will naturally attract the right partner for you in your life. Now for social anxiety the cold approach is defiantly the most effective way to help reduce anxiety however you need to learn that rejection is okay and necessary! Heads up, you will be fine

[D13g0]

thanks guys

Edited June 12, 2018 by D13g0

[Guest Quanty]

When I had problems stuttering because of lung problems and thyroids, I felt similar.

If your mother/grandma are alive, go to them and bound with them, make friends with them. A mother, grandmother or a sister will always understand you. 

And you can learn Tantra, it will be life-changing in socializing and connecting with the opposite sex. 

[Consept]

@D13g0 First off well done for pushing your boundaries and doing something like this, approaching a stranger and trying to create attraction is extremely difficult especially when its something you havent really done before, so take a second and think about the accomplishment of even attempting that, most people will never do that in their lives. 

Your issue seems to be with anxiety, so really its not a case of getting more woman or even getting rid of the anxiety, you have to come to terms with allowing the anxiety to be there. Youre doing something that youve never done before so youre brain is in survival mode trying to get you not to do it, because its something you want but youve survived all this time without doing it your brain just sees it as a threat to your survival. So its going to kick in with lots of anxiety and horrible feelings, theres no way to get rid of them but the more you challenge them by in this case, approaching women the more they should subside, but you have to understand why theyre there and just let them be, dont question them just look at it as a consequence of you pushing outside your comfort zone.

The other issue is putting too much on the result, ie a girl texting you back. Whats interesting is that you dont even know whether you like the girl really but it would ruin your day if she doesnt text back. Which says that you are caught up in the result and not the girl or even the process. To really be successful in most things and especially attraction you really have to let go of the end result, practically you can do this by having the mindset that you dont really need this person in your life but if she wants to be it will be a great experience for her. Also another one is having an abundant mentality which is that you can approach and have a relationship with an abundant amount of women, you dont need to just go for the one that accepts your advances. 

 

again well done, and i hope this helps in some way