TOO MANY LIFE PURPOSES AND ACCOMPLISHMENT ANXIETY?

[TRUTH_SEEKER]

Hi Everyone,

I've been in a very confusing moment in my life.

It's been 2 years that I got a bachelor's degree in architecture because I listened to that "this is going to make you more money as a career" story.

I've always been more artistic thoug (graphic design/ fine arts/ photography/ etc). One year and a half ago I moved to NYC and I worked for an interior design company for a year - enough time to figure out I don't want to work a 9-5 anymore and that multidisciplinary visual art is what's really going to fulfill me. I left that job decided to pursue my true artistic passion. After a couple of months adjusting to my new situation, I've been bartending to pay for my bills and have free mornings and afternoons to pursue my true interest. Now, I came across a new obstacle: I HAVE TOO MANY INTERESTS AND MY ANXIETY TO GET THINGS ACCOMPLISHED IS KEEPING ME STUCK.

I organized myself to follow certain "goals and achievements", so I'm not all over the place, but my biggest problem seems to be a certain fear of rejection of my work and also a perfectionism (wanting to have everything looking cohesive, curated and in abundance). Maybe I'm being too demanding of myself, expecting to have results rather than understanding it's all a process. Also feel like I've turned it into something mechanical by creating so many goals and schedules.

I feel unmotivated because I roughly like 2 out of 5 things that I produce, but have to admit that I haven't shown much to the world of what I do (showing on social media, launching a website, and other actions to promote myself) - So I'm mostly locked inside my bedroom trying to produce, produce, produce - but not very satisfied with most things and just dreaming of accomplishing everything I could be acomplishing. I MISS HAVING A MOMENTUM AND JUST LETTING MY WORK FLOW WITHOUT TOO MANY EXPECTATIONS.

[Nahm]

@TRUTH_SEEKER It’s still that same now. Remember? The electricity & connection, the magic...? The excitement of watching creation unfold? Get outta the head and back into the heart. All the connection is there. That now is never not there, you just forgot cause you were thinking a lot. If you had the momentum and lost it, then you haven’t been ‘taking care of yourself’; having fun, doing some stuff you like, feelin the love. Don’t underestimate fun to get that feelin back in motion. You got serious, but it’s totally undoable... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=10uRa4oENus

 

[TRUTH_SEEKER]

@Nahm Beautiful Words, thank you! Something magical actually happened: I'm getting the momentum again and couldn't be happier. I started reading a book called "Art & Fear" which is amazing! Thanks!!