Working with a therapist

[Manjushri]

I am seeing a therapist to work out my childhood issues. Any ideas how I can work with him the best? The conversation and level of insight is shit if I come unprepared,it seems to me.

[B_Naz]

I think you should just go with an absolute open mind. If there is something that the therapists says that causes you stress and struggle, just be open mind to it. If the therapists says to change a certain thing or gives you a conceptual framework and you don't like it?, then be open-minded to it.

Don't dismiss what the therapists says, just accept what they say and be open-minded to it. By being open-minded, the insight and the conversation will make sense

That's all you need, I think. You go to the therapist to help with your issues and they are trained to help you with this. They do the work to get you up and going, and you respond to that work, so you shouldn't worry about preparation. It's why you pay them

 

[Athena]

Go see a hypnotherapist instead. 

[The Don]

Hello.

For me the best therapy is meditation.

Soon I'm going to try Magic Mushrooms.

[Nahm]

@Gligorije I have social worker / counselor friends, and also friends who have went to therapists as well. From what I’ve seen, honesty and not projecting are the most important facets. It seems common (ime) that people lie to their therapist and or get caught up in finding personality short comings of the therapist. If you just look at it like time set aside to just let it free, to just whatever comes to mind, and anything that therapist can offer as help is icing on the cake, I think you’ll let the past go for good and be lookin forward. I also think you’re in for a really amazing life, because you’re not settling, you’re doing what you need to do to get to good, and you’re focused enough to prepare. I think you got this man. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Gligorije Have an intent and work on being vulnerable.

[Erlend K]

Your relationship with your therapist should be as open and uncensored as possible. Just say whatever comes to mind. Whenever something comes to mind you absolutely dont want to share, just tell him "Im thinking about something i dont want to tell you". Then the two of you can explore your feelings around your unwillingness to open up about this particular topic.

Don't try to impress him with how insightful you can be. But, if you notice yourself trying to impress him, just tell him "I was trying to impress you now". Then the two of you can explore your urge to impress. Etc. 

[Ether]

3 minutes ago, Erlend K said:

Your relationship with your therapist should be as open and uncensored as possible. Just say whatever comes to mind. Whenever something comes to mind you absolutely dont want to share, just tell him "Im thinking about something i dont want to tell you". Then the two of you can explore your feelings around your unwillingness to open up about this particular topic.

Don't try to impress him with how insightful you can be. But, if you notice yourself trying to impress him, just tell him "I was trying to impress you now". Then the two of you can explore your urge to impress. Etc. 

Just DONT tell him you have suicidal thoughts even if you do. Don tell him\her you have sexual obsession with him\her (if you have it).

If you tell him\her you have suicidal ideation they might sent you to a mental hospital, so, just be careful, the rest talk about it.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Ether

[Elisabeth]

13 hours ago, Gligorije said:

I am seeing a therapist to work out my childhood issues. Any ideas how I can work with him the best? The conversation and level of insight is shit if I come unprepared,it seems to me.

If you come unprepared it's shit, if you come prepared... what happens? What kind of preparation has helped you in the past, if any?

The reason why I'm asking, we have no idea from your post if changing your attitude somehow helps, or is you met a shitty terapist (or just one you don't click with).

Personally, I had two good therapeutic relationships, but in the search for the second one I had to reject like 3-4 therapists who just didn't seem helpful. (One was plain too stupid to follow me, the other a rigid old lady whom I didn't trust to support me, a third one will be great but just too inexperienced.) 

If you don't feel like your therapist facilitates understanding, and/or awareness of the body and emotions, and/or learning of new skills like relaxation, then change the therapist. 

[zenjen]

3 hours ago, Erlend K said:

Your relationship with your therapist should be as open and uncensored as possible. Just say whatever comes to mind. Whenever something comes to mind you absolutely dont want to share, just tell him "Im thinking about something i dont want to tell you". Then the two of you can explore your feelings around your unwillingness to open up about this particular topic.

Don't try to impress him with how insightful you can be. But, if you notice yourself trying to impress him, just tell him "I was trying to impress you now". Then the two of you can explore your urge to impress. Etc. 

@Erlend K great advice!

[Charlotte]

Open as f mind as stated above. The therapist is the menu not the meal. You are the meal. 

I'm currently in the middle of high intensity CBT and she's decided to help me with panic disorder at the same time (I nagged her), she's extremely helpful and we clicked at like the second session, do you feel some kind of energy between you and your therapist? I feel this is important. 

[Guest Quanty]

No therapist can help better than letting go of the mind. 

[Guest Quanty]

I get that some people at some point and special circumstances need or want someone to help them, but; go alone, listen to a couple of weeks to your breath, heart and feelings, get in touch with reality. Notice that any trauma can be healed only by yourself. The breath will teach you how because there is no method of helping. You are at the stage that you are, air only will truly help. 

Stay with the therapist 5 years or with your breath 5 weeks, you decide. 

Edited June 13, 2018 by Quanty

[Greenbirch]

I was in talk therapy for 4 years and evolved from being completely sick and unable to work or develop intimate relationships to being now fully employed, in an intimate relationship and committed to self-actualization. I agree with many tips given in this discussion:

• You should have an open mind
• Honesty and not projecting
• Work on being vulnerable
• Uncensored relationship with the therapist
• Meditation. If you haven't already, start meditating and keep meditating for the rest of your life. Meditation great tool for learning to observe yourself, among other things.
• Awareness of the body and emotions (body awareness was the one thing lacking in my therapy and my results would have been much better with it!)

In addition:

• Uncensored relationship with your therapist requires safety. When choosing a therapist, be as picky as you are. You need someone who you can potentially open up to about everything. Political correctness is not something one should worry about. For example, I needed a female therapist for some reason and respected this need. If you feel like some therapist really is not good for you, don't be polite and stick with them - there are plenty of therapists out there.
• Talk about the things you don't want to talk about. Unwillingness to discuss a topic is an indicator that this is exactly what you should talk about and great growth can result. You can start by talking about how something is difficult for you to bring up. Like Erlend K said, explore the unwillingness to talk about the topic  
• Accept that you will not be ready and 100% perfect after therapy. The greatest asset you can get from therapy is the routine of observing yourself and working on your issues. This continues for the rest of one's life.

 

On 6/14/2018 at 0:59 AM, Quanty said:

Notice that any trauma can be healed only by yourself.

I do agree with this to some degree. However, in order to let trauma resurface, a feeling of safety is needed and this can be built in therapy or other people can help provide it. When I started therapy, I had no idea what safety even was and my trauma became accessible only after I found that in my life. For me, that included forming intimate relationships as well as having trust in myself. Therapy is a great way to get to know yourself and build trust in yourself and your ability to care for your needs. 

 

 

[Ether]

On 13/06/2018 at 6:09 AM, Charlotte said:

The therapist is the menu not the meal. You are the meal. 

Hesus hahaha

[Staples]

@Gligorije Experiment with different therapists.

Psychologists etc are only trained in textbook practices and common trends in emotional damage. Very few have solved their own internal issues, 99% of the time it is the blind (with a textbook) leading the blind. 

Find a fantastic therapist.