I cant stand seeing girls flirting with other guys

[MM1988]

There is one thing that really ruins my day over and over. I havent had sex in over 8 years and despite trying over and over I cant get girls attracted to me. Its just ridicullous when I text with some girls and I try to analyze if this or that is a hit. And then I see these same girls interacting with my friends and they are really forward and flirt with them.

 

When that happens I get all kinds of emotions. A strong feeling of being inadequate and jealiousy, because this is normal for my friends to get flirtet on like that by girls and its no big deal for them while it basically never happens to me, and shocked that these girls behave that way, because to my they are always completely non-sexual and suddenly they hit on these guys while I never get even a hint of interrest ever. I meditate and have achieved enormous personal growth, but with this dating thing there was basically zero progress. I get the desire to just throw it all away and become a monk. But im not sure if its possible or healthly to simply skip this stage of maslows hierachy. 

[egoeimai]

@MM1988 Well it seems in that field,of dating so to speak,you hold most resistance. 

Is it your limiting beliefs in your mind "I can't do it,I suck at this,they will never like me,I'm a mess" that r  keeping you from finding the right way to do this.?

Constant thoughts in your mind,you keep believing in them,its so normal and expected that you then go and act as the thought told u to. You need to keep practicing meditation more,please don't ever believe that there's something wrong with you.

Keep going ?

[MM1988]

@egoeimai It is limiting beliefs for sure and I keep working on those, but I cant get over seeing girls flirt with my friends because its just objective evidence right in my face. It just happens to them and to me it doesnt, no way around it. These guys are not into self actualization or doing anything special and they just have success with women without putting any effort into it. I know its unhealthly to obsess over it but thats just triggers me like nothing else.

 

My romantic life is now an almost decade long inner battle and it just feels like im hitting into walls all the time and get no further.

Edited June 10, 2018 by MM1988

[blazed]

Ah yeah the lion pride thing in most guys.

It's normal jealousy i guess, just make sure it doesn't turn you into a vile/hating person.

Detach from the outcome, let it go, and try again, is the best answer i can give.

Find a women you really like get married, and never have to worry about that stupid shit again, or like you said go monk mode and never worry about it.

I find wasting time on chasing women on something like sexual dopaime hits to the brain a completely utter waste of time, similar to video games, tv, or doing drugs etc.

Its fun, but its shallow, shallow water my friend.

Edited June 10, 2018 by blazed

[egoeimai]

@MM1988 yes it is shallow as blazed said. I dont know ,maybe you need to find what's the cause,search in your shadow. It must be somewhere there

[MM1988]

but how? how would I do this shadow work?

[egoeimai]

4 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

but how? how would I do this shadow work?

 

[Ether]

Great, now you have an oppurtinity to work on intense presence. Most people are not as serious as they say they are.  

[Star Net]

Hi @MM1988

20 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

I get the desire to just throw it all away and become a monk. But im not sure if its possible or healthly to simply skip this stage of maslows hierachy. 

Hey hey hey, easy easy on Yourself, hahaha

Read this carefully :

You are dealing with a kind of girls that They chase what They do not have, and it seems that You are focusing too much on Them, and You are giving Them too much of attention that They do not deserve in the first place, and You are making Yourself always available for Them, So in this case there is nothing left for them to chase and thats why They do not find You interesting, This kind of girls like to chase something.

Well What You have to focus on is Your life, Have fun with Your life, and When They flirt with Your friends, do not be jealous ( What are the benefits of being jealous ?, You will hurt Yourself and Your friends ) instead of that engage with Them, have fun, make jokes, do pranks, just have fun, and remember there are millions of girls are waiting for You ( hahaha thats a good one but its real ),

Do not ask @Leo Gura about this, Because He will tell You, Look Buddy Why do You want to have sex?, You are not exist in the first Place    ( hahaha I am just kidding, LEO has a good videos about relationships contain a good amount of informations that You can Use, it is helpful ).

 

Remember, We live 24 hours a day. So lets say You will have sex with a girl for like 2 hours a day ( sometimes 5 hours, We all like Sex ), but what about the next 22 hours, if You weigh this correctly, You will find that having building Your life and having fun with girl and spend a good time with them is more important than having sex with them ( Sex is important too, but it is less important ).

 

 

 

[ChimpBrain]

I'm a peasant when it comes to the inner work, but not when it comes to women, so take my advice with a grain of salt. 

 

It seems like you have 3 options - 1) work on letting go of the importance you're placing on whether or not women are attracted to you. This is easier said than done if you're going to be around women in every day life. A few hundred million years of evolution molding you into a reproduction machine isn't easy to ignore lol. 2) work on becoming more attractive if you decide you won't be happy without a partner. This could take many forms, physical, financial, personality, confidence, etc. 3) do both of these simultaneously. This one seems to be the hardest IMO because you're essentially striving in contradictory directions. This one MAY be where you're currently at, you'd know that better than me, obviously. 

 

 

 

 

[MM1988]

Its not about the sex, its the lack of validation. I truly think I'm a great guy but reality just shows me that im not desireable.

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

There is one thing that really ruins my day over and over. I havent had sex in over 8 years and despite trying over and over I cant get girls attracted to me. Its just ridicullous when I text with some girls and I try to analyze if this or that is a hit. And then I see these same girls interacting with my friends and they are really forward and flirt with them.

 

When that happens I get all kinds of emotions. A strong feeling of being inadequate and jealiousy, because this is normal for my friends to get flirtet on like that by girls and its no big deal for them while it basically never happens to me, and shocked that these girls behave that way, because to my they are always completely non-sexual and suddenly they hit on these guys while I never get even a hint of interrest ever. I meditate and have achieved enormous personal growth, but with this dating thing there was basically zero progress. I get the desire to just throw it all away and become a monk. But im not sure if its possible or healthly to simply skip this stage of maslows hierachy. 

You got bad frame control. 

When you text a girl you should not be looking to see if somehow she is feeling a connection to you. 

You decide if the connection is there. Girls often have no idea if they are supposed to like you or not. They can't even make a decision like that. You make that decision for them. And then often they go along. It's really almost as simple as you saying: "You like me"". And girls says: ""ehhh ihihihi ok". 

You have to decide if you want to take her. And then if you do you go in there like a Viking warlord and burn her little village down, take all her dearest possesions, and leave with it. And now she is your little concubine. 

Edited June 10, 2018 by SFRL

[Star Net]

Hi @SFRL

5 minutes ago, SFRL said:

You decide if the connection is there. Girls often have no idea if they are supposed to like you or not. They can't even make a decision like that. You make that decision for them. And then often they go along. It's really almost as simple as you saying: "You like me"". And girls says: ""ehhh ihihihi ok". 

hahaha , That's right some of them are like what You said, often I experience it with girls, They are funny creatures, hahaha , I like Them .

[SFRL]

3 minutes ago, Star Net said:

Hi @SFRL

hahaha , That's right some of them are like what You said, often I experience it with girls, They are funny creatures, hahaha , I like Them .

Yeah I like them too, I like them a lot ??

[Ether]

16 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

Its not about the sex, its the lack of validation. I truly think I'm a great guy but reality just shows me that im not desireable.

Ok, so imagine one validates you, then what about the next one? And the next one? You do know that if after getting validated once, you will just be wanting more? It never ends, right? You know that?

Be self-relliant, and self-validating, thats what I do, I barely care what anybody has to say now, Im way to in the present moment to care what anybody has to say lol.

Not completly in, but im getting close.

[MM1988]

@Ether but how do you surpress your bilogical urges?

[egoeimai]

11 minutes ago, Ether said:

Ok, so imagine one validates you, then what about the next one? And the next one? You do know that if after getting validated once, you will just be wanting more? It never ends, right? You know that?

Be self-relliant, and self-validating, thats what I do, I barely care what anybody has to say now, Im way to in the present moment to care what anybody has to say lol.

Not completly in, but im getting close.

Progress, mate ?

[Ether]

@egoeimai I only know how to move foward. What is "being stuck in the past"? Can anybody tell me what it means? 

 

???

[egoeimai]

9 minutes ago, Ether said:

@egoeimai I only know how to move foward. What is "being stuck in the past"? Can anybody tell me what it means? 

 

???

No,cause you are always here. Can't escape from now. 

?

[Ether]

2 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

No,cause you are always here. Can't escape from now. 

?

But you can imagine it.