Help.. Mastering Different Emotions After Addiction?

[hkon]

I hope to get some wiews on my currrent situation. I am 45 and for most og my life used alcohol and drugs to handle my emotions I`ve come to realize. I decided to make an important change in my life and have now been sober for 4 months (not very long, but this will be forever). My exwife had an affair with a woman behind my back for a year, before I discovered and told her to follow her heart. At that time I was just happy to find out that I was not crazy (I had worked a lot with my mind, because I was told this was jealousy and nothing ever happened. So I thought it was something wrong with my head, but it wasn`t). Anyway; my exwife and children moved somewhere else and I handled it like I allways had and started using drugs and drinking more alcohol. After a few years I met my current girlfriend and I want to the right thing and be my true self in this relationship. So I have stopped getting high and I luckily saw Leo Gura at internet. I have started my self improvement and have good meditation routines, but I noticed something in the process. I get more aware of my constant monkeychatting and especially thoughts and negative beliefs about my current girlfriend. This is unfair,but my gutfeeling told me I was right last time.. I have watched Leo Guras "stop beeing jealous" and I am trying to take the higher ground. I also are much more aware of the negative thoughts, I observe them and let them go. I think I am on the right path, but I am struggling with my body. The body feels heavy and wont let go of the negativity. In some sense my awareness of the monkeychatting makes the negative emotions even stronger.  I feel i am a little bit stucked and that I bring my previous experiences into the new relationship. My new awareness see this very clearly, but only that does not help. In the age of 45 I have to master my feelings without drugs on many areas. Can I get some wievs on this! Is it sometimes that things get worse before they get better and so on or am I doing something wrong?

 

[Henri]

Hi mate, you have had kind of a hard life you tell...

Just dealing with the mind will not be enough for you. Old impressions get stuck in your physical body as well as your energy body and your emotional body. Just meditation is not enough.

I would advice you to learn some pranayamas (breathing techniques) and do some program for your body as well, for example hatha yoga. In this way you will heal your complete self of past impressions. Dealing with the emotions will go by itself.

[Capethaz]

@hkon If you can, I recommend that you find a good therapist, this really gonna help you in the short term. And of course, keep the meditation habit.