Is your life actually better from doing personal development?

[Slade]

I feel like my life is definitely different from most people’s lives because of the personal development I do. I eat a different diet, have different habits, think about different things, have different goals, etc... but idk that my life is actually better yet. Other than, I know I’m healthier and more mindful than I used to be and have more knowledge. I don’t drink or party every weekend so I feel like other kids my age probably have a lot more fun than me in that regard. 

I wonder at what point I’ll start to derive a deep fulfillment from my life. I feel like once I implement my life purpose and I’m having my impact in the world I’ll be a lot more satisfied with daily life. 

[ajasatya]

yes it is WAY better now...

[Nadosa]

Sometimes on my journey I feel like: no, how could this ever be better than ignorance, especially after "ego death", well I am not there yet...

[Slade]

12 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

yes it is WAY better now...

How so?

[Nahm]

@Slade omg yes.

[Slade]

31 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Slade omg yes.

How? In what ways 

[Joseph Maynor]

Infinitely better.  I feel like all my atoms are pulsing in a harmony now — and there is much less clashing inside of me.  I know where I’m going, yet I’m perfectly happy where I am too.  And my work is aligned with my vision now too.

Edited June 10, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[lmfao]

@Slade well if it wasn't for personal development I would still have severe depression/anxiety and would have maybe commit suicide. I retain all of my addictions though, but I know my ego is starting to die from meditating 50 mins plus daily now. Starting to feel more grounded in the present moment. From meditation, I feel I've learnt that self improvement can paradoxically be hindered by your desire to improve yourself. 

I'll be meditating, and I'll think "why isn't my meditation making me feel better? Why can't I detach from my thoughts? ". But if I let go of my want to feel better and let go of my want to "get something" out of meditation, I feel better and I'm detached from my thoughts. By getting out of your own way, your mind and body will automatically take the correct actions you need to improve yourself. 

We are always in a state of anxiety because our egos are under the illusion that our external circumstances (job performance,sexual relationships, family, friendships and etc) are inherently important, when they are not. Once you let go of clinging to external circumstances, your external circumstances improve. And I feel I'm starting to learn that. 

Edited June 10, 2018 by lmfao

[aurum]

@Slade

Yes it's objectively better. And with the problems that I still do face, I have a different perspective.

[Slade]

7 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Infinitely better.  I feel like all my atoms are pulsing in a harmony now — and there is much less clashing inside of me.  I know where I’m going, yet I’m perfectly happy where I am too.  And my work is aligned with my vision now too.

What did you do to feel that? 

I feel like I should be more satisfied with my life but maybe I need to get on track with my life purpose first or explore psychedelics. 

2 hours ago, aurum said:

@Slade

Yes it's objectively better. And with the problems that I still do face, I have a different perspective.

Do you feel better on a day to day basis? 

[Prakhar]

Yes, it is.

Here's why.

It's not that because I follow personal development, that I live a good life. The reason why personal development improves my life is that it is aligned with my values.

One of my top value is to live a life of growth. With personal development, I'm always fulfilling that desire and value.

For some people, growth is not that important so even when they get involved in personal development, they tend to drive away from it because they don't find fulfillment.

So maybe if you reevaluate your values and see if they are aligned with what you're doing, you will find fulfillment.

Good luck!

[Nahm]

9 hours ago, Slade said:

How? In what ways 

“To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.”

William Blake.

[Nahm]

@Caterpillar Congrats on that!

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Slade said:

Do you feel better on a day to day basis? 

Yes, but you have to be careful with your definition of "feel better".

It's not uncommon throughout my day that I get hits of ecstasy of unconditional love. Love so beautiful that all you want to do is share it with others.

That never happened to me before I started personal development.

I also do believe is possible to improve your "baseline" level of feeling good on a day to day basis. But...as far as I can tell, none of that is permanent.

Where the real fulfillment comes from is not being attached to any of the highs or lows. You're in non-resistance to it all.

Right now I'm in the middle of a 3 day water fast. I'm hungry, tired and kind of cranky. And yet I've consciously choosen to put myself through this.

Why?

Partially because I like it. I like challenging myself and even feeling the bit of pain that comes with that.

I also like things like cold showers, doing nothing and eating food most people think tastes terrible.

So it's not just this pleasure orgy, although you do get a lot of pleasure. Just wanting to "feel good" and not ever "feel bad" is ego.

Really it's about the full experience of everything. And the meta-level calm, present feeling you get from realizing that it is all temporary and not to cling to anything.

[Zweistein]

Yes - by factor of millions. If I would actually die within the next minute, I wouldn't have regrets about anything I didn't accomplish or do. 

[Guest Quanty]

It is way better for my inner world speaking. But I lost all my friends (christians) and most of the family. 

[SchallUndRauch]

Personal development is such a strange term for all of this.

[Agneta]

My life is much better since.

Interactions with people around me are better, my emotion regulation is better and i’m a more stable person.

I finally found the courage to speak up for myself.

 

[denydritz]

Yes, my life is better from doing personal development. I have more clarity about how I think and it helps me to understand how other people think and therefore I can communicate better with them (especially people close to me). In some rare cases, I can help other people with problems they're facing regarding habits and personal goals, and even relationship issues on some occasions.

It has made me more courageous in (calculated) risk taking when it comes to money issues. I meet more people (although I am an introvert) in new environments where I am the least smartest in the room, learn new things that I'm not sure will be profitable or not, and have the ability to consider that I may be the one with the wrong idea/opinion and always willing to upgrade my understanding

Cheers!

[Elisabeth]

@Slade A ... bit. An important bit meaning the difference between despair and feeling joy and satisfaction sometimes.

I haven't done much on the "changing habits" part, so maybe that's why. 

But what I have gained during the years is a lot of body and emotional awareness (says the girl who's unable to handle formal vipassana). Also, my concepts have shifted a lot. All that means that when depressed, which still happens to me 

1) I can feel it in my body, which means I know what the fuck is going on and don't just get caught in the "worthless and hopeless never gonna be better" thinking loop. I can't make it pass but I can make decisions respecting my own current state. 

2) I can see some meaning in my suffering as I believe that by going through it and understanding it the particular problem eventually losses it's edge

I've done that through westernized yoga and psychotherapy. Learning bodily relaxation (at yoga) was huge for me. I took it a step further with Leo's "do nothing" meditation.

Feeling my body throughout my day in and off itself does bring a feeling of satisfaction.  

I've also unlocked feelings of ecstasy which were unknown to me before. I've mainly done that through conscious sexuality. 

These shifts, although sometimes they disappear and leave me depressed, hopeless and confused again, gave me a lot of hope that things CAN be better.