Maslow's Pyramid Feels Lonely

[Philip]

@Isle of View @Edkens @Nomad I'm not telling anyone what to do here. But let's just all agree on the facts. The human brain works like a sponge. And if you hang out with more actualized people, this will probably help your self-actualization as well.

While I totally agree with embracing people around you as they are, I don't think you have to keep them around you, though. I think cutting off relationships can be a really healthy practice in some cases. As long as it's made without hate, blame or judgement. 

[Isle of View]

@Philip

Thank you for clarification, Philip. Agree. The better the air, the better the lungs.

1 hour ago, Philip said:

While I totally agree with embracing people around you as they are, I don't think you have to keep them around you, though. 

I see what you mean. 

As I said before, I prefere the wording: not being present with certain people. 

I'm not present with my kindergarten buddies anymore. And I don't remember I quit the friendship. We just grew apart. Naturally. 

 

27 minutes ago, Philip said:

I think cutting off relationships can be a really healthy practice in some cases. As long as it's made without hate, blame or judgement. 

In some rare cases it is adviseable. But in most cases people just wonder, because they don't understand. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

@Philip @Isle of ViewIf this makes sense I've communicated well. If not, then I'll keep trying to refine my perspective.  

A simple 3 stage model:

Repulsion

Tollerance

Unconditional acceptance

I won't say anymore, but this encapsulates the growth process. 

The first stage is when you start to get a grip on what's dysfunctional. 

The second stage is where you learn to cope.

The third stage is where you realise that the problem was yours. 

It's moving from selfish to conventional to post conventional.

 

Edited March 14, 2016 by Nomad

[Isle of View]

@Nomad

Sometimes people on the spiritual quest forget to embrace what is already positive about them and their environment.

My take is such: go for the positive and handle the negative only if it really pulls your attention.

When I meditate I work to enhance my natural "power" of presence. See, I already have it, I want to strenghten it, that's why I work on this.

Of course I could sit down and "meditate" what is in the way of my ability to be fully present, but that's a stop.

Of course it is important to work on weak points, but try to work holistically. You as a composite being with body, mind, visions, dreams and your connections, as a spiritual presence: what is going well?

Where could this be improved?

And handle your connections, the people you work with and family exactly the same way.

If you only look for things that are not working to get them going you will produce a lot of strife.

 

Kind regards, 
Chris

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Isle of View said:

@Nomad

Sometimes people on the spiritual quest forget to embrace what is already positive about them and their environment.

Is this the same as making good judgements without being judgemental?

[Isle of View]

44 minutes ago, Nomad said:

Is this the same as making good judgements without being judgemental?

Judgement per se is not that bad if you know that you judge (evaluate) a specific circumstance that itself is in the process of change. So your judgement was referring to a condition of existence in a specific time frame.

But that was not what I was refering to.

Let's say you want to help little Amy with ther school work. She would have some (maybe even many) issues in school. In order to help her, you would ask:" What do you like about school?"" What else do you like about school?" After that: "What subjects in school are you good at?"" What else subjects..." and on and on. You acknowledge her abilities. She becomes "bigger". Before she was the girl with lots of school issues but suddenly she recognises that she isn't that bad at all. Now you can ask her: "What issues do you have there?"" When did it start? ""What have you done just before that?" Find the exact issue and move her from there. That's just an example.

Another example would be: Oh, the world is so fu**ed. Nobody really gets the damn point. Nobody listens. Yadda, yadda. That's a pretty negative outlook. You can just say: "Look around here and find something or someone you could like". Or: "Tell me of someone or something you could like."
(Note: could, it's a possibility, you could like.)

When your attention is drawn too much to the negative (which is an attitude you have some control over), you will attract ever more negativity.

My parents don't understand me. Ask: "What about you do your parents embrace?" "What else..." Make him find one thing, than another and so on.
And: "What about your parents could you like or embrace?"
 

What I was generally pointing to is, you can much faster come to results if you look for the positives and magnify them.

Wherever your attention goes, that thing becomes bigger, more solid.

 

~Chris

 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2016 by Isle of View

[Guest]

@Isle of View The observer shapes the observed 

[Kevin Dunlop]

There are many perks to self- actualization so dont get discouraged keep at it, what you are working on here sounds good even though it is uncomfortable for now, remember nothing is perminant. There is alot of powerful wisdom out there now, and it can have profound effects on your life  Sometimes you get ahead of yourself though and werent prepared for the consequences of real profound changes. You were not informed about the side effects of the process, but dont worry we have experienced them too, so now its time to scramble forward and deal with them by learning more. You will be able to reconnect with anyone you want to with compassion and patience, you will adapt to the new feelings and learn to use them to your benefit, they are a rare gift on your path and wont last forever, feel them and explore them without fear then let them go. The more you feel love the more chances some new interesting  people will be attracted to you. But maybe you have been saturated with people and need some space to rewire.

This is hard to say because Iam not too sure but, maybe you are putting too much importance on these interactions and how they are going. there is no emergency here so just relax and take it all in then let it go, they are just experiences.