Serving Others

[Electron]

When I was a kid I used to be very helping to my elders and was always ready to offer any help if anyone was in need of it. The more I grew old, the more reasons and excuses got manifested inside my mind as to how people don't want to do anything for themselves and are just sneakily using me as a tool to cover what they are supposed to do. Eventually helping others became a selective premise and an exercise of the mind rather than an odyssey of the heart. Only those people were to be helped and liked who helped and liked me. Every thing suddenly had a condition like a constrained computer program.  I became so much obsessed about my goals that I prioritized my time only for my own endeavors and whenever a choice came to choose between myself and others, I always selected myself.

But a few months ago it all changed when accidentally I helped someone, and seeing him grateful that I helped him, I somehow felt relieved and satisfied. It was a strange paradigm shift for me and it has always been a satisfying and joyous experience ever since to provide a helping hand whenever I can. Sometimes its hard when you have certain prejudices about some people, but i always feel better whenever I choose to offer something in my possession to people unconditionally rather than being selfish and thinking about What's in it for me or This is mine, I can't give it to you or You did such and such thing to me, so I won't help you now. Its strange that somehow it has always turned out to be the right choice to help people in spite of going with any excuses that arose in opposition.

I wonder how helping people, instead of being in a race with them, has worked out for you. I would love to know your views about this.

 

Edited March 13, 2016 by Electron

[dystopia]

Helping people is fantastic as long as you don't become a pushover. Your time is precious so don't feel bad when you can't afford to spend it on someone. When you feel guilty about not helping, that's when things get out of balance. Otherwise keep giving, as long as it doesn't drain you. 

I used to get annoyed at people who only ever seeked me out when they needed something. But then I realized (in certain cases) it was only my perception of them. I've gotten better at distinguishing people who only want to take & people who have a lot to give, as well, so it balances out.

[FindingPeace]

On 13/03/2016 at 5:29 PM, shouldnt said:

Helping people is fantastic as long as you don't become a pushover.

This is a good point. The problem with giving is that people will take. And the more you give and the more often you give, people will not think twice at coming to you for help. It's human nature, we can all do this without even realising it.

People in society have an unhealthy habit of not taking repsonsibility for themselves and relying on others to do their work for them. Yet, as the same time it can be healthy and rewarding to offer to help one another. It's a tricky balance between selflessly contributing and not becomming a doormat.

On 13/03/2016 at 5:29 PM, shouldnt said:

I've gotten better at distinguishing people who only want to take & people who have a lot to give, as well, so it balances out.

Good point. I think it is important that some people learn to take responsibility for themselves. There is a difference between people that need help verses those who just can't be bothered to help themselves (take responsibility).

[Vaishnavi]

There was a time when I used to complete literally everyone's biology diagrams in the class cuz that was my idea of 'helping' back then. But I realised that everyone was just trying to use me and I never blamed them cuz I was the one who gave them the power to do that. I soon dropped that habit anyway. I agree with the point made by @FindingPeace that there is a difference between those who can't take the responsibility vs. those who actually need help. 

I would encourage you to keep up with the act of helping others as the selfless forms the minority, not the majority. We need more kind hearted people to bring peace and joy.

Helping others, even in like the slightest manner can give you immense joy and satisfaction, at least that is how I feel when I help someone. Plus helping someone will eventually encourage others to be better. 

Edited March 24, 2016 by Vaishnavi

[Henri]

A topic not well understood by the most people who visit this forum. And understandable.

In the late eighties I got involved in The Art of Living where I have got the opportunity to gain a lot of experiences on meditation, yoga, pranayamas and knowledge. An integral part of their program was called Seva (selfless service).

In the beginning I was obstinate to it. `What the f**k, I just want to meditate and learn and grow.` In a way really only concerned with my own development. `Isn`t it so that you can only help people when you have first developed yourself?` All those barriers and excuses came up in my mind and I had a hard time dealing with it.

However their approach to developing is an integral one, it combines all the different approaches to development, all the four limbs of the yoga-system are involved. And during time I experienced the benefits of doing selfless service for others than just me. I experienced that by helping others you are helping yourself also, getting a new meaning to the doctrine `we are all one.`

I have learned that the real Seva you do in a meditative state where the intentions are most important. You`ll experience that in a certain way it is not even you who is doing the job. That was really an eyeopener.

So I am able to understand how the majority of this audience looks at Seva, or karma-yoga as it is also called. Nevertheless I am also able to understand that this is the missing link for lots of people who do self-development. The Integral Yoga is about four limbs and not about two as most will see it.

The common excuse that first one is having to develop one self is terribly wrong. Every opportunity in life to help someone is a gift where one can show ones responsibility, is an opportunity to grow and is a opportunity to express your love and this expression gives enormous joy to one self.  It`s not about the results its all about the intentions and The Art of Living has proven this aspect widely in today`s world.

.

Edited March 24, 2016 by Henri
image wrong place

[Son of leo]

It's a good thing only if you have time. BTW, you sound like L

[Henri]

@Abhijeet Singh Time? You can do Seva at your job, with your family, your neighbours, whatever.

It`s all about inner attitude. Your whole life you can be a karma yogi and stand in the center of the world. 

[Philip]

@Henri You can't just not talk about yoga for once, can you ?