Recent breakthrough

[erik8lrl]

Recently, my mind has become more and more unified. Polarities all mixed into one concept. This created chaos in my mind. Since polarities are no more, logic becomes illogical, reasons becomes unreasonable. Whenever I think about something, it will just go on an infinite loop. Never-ending. This creates suffering in life since I cannot think and are always in conflict and confusion. However, yesterday something changed. Just as I was contemplating on this chaos, I realized this is a conflict between desire/ego and love/egoless. I know that all desires/desirelessness leads to suffering, this made me unable to do anything since all roads lead to suffering. Then what to do? Without desires/desirelessness, I cannot do anything. At the same time, desires/desirelessness are the product of ego, the goal should be doing something without desires. Whether it be desires or desirelessness. Desires can only exist in the future, not the present. The ego can only exist in the past or the future, but the present is all that. I was lost, Then love came to mind. Is love a desire? Is selflessness a desire? It was then I remembered that the only thing stopping one from enlightenment is their ego. At that moment something happened, I was no longer identified with my ego. I know I am everything and nothing at the same time, but I always saw that in the eyes of the ego, not from the perspective of everything or nothing. So I looked at everything in the perspective of everything, and it happened. A love that is so intense that it felt like every single atom in my body was saying “I love you”, and that feeling quickly expands infinitely outside of my body, into everything. It is so intense and blissful that words cannot describe. But here is my attempt to describe it:

God/unity/oneness is love. Not love like romantic love(Although included), but love from a creator to its creation(And from creation to the creator).  

Creator and the creation are one thing. 

Love that is so intense that it created the universe, that pushed time forward, that expanded the space infinitely. 

Love that is so intense that death is happy, that death becomes an event of love. Death is love.

This love is beyond logic and the illogical

Every polarity is unified, into love.

It is the perspective of God. 

At first, you are a drop of water, alone, separated. You fall into the river and became the river, but you still see things as a drop of water. Then the river flows into the ocean, you are full and infinite, but you still think you are just a drop of water. This is what’s happening, you are an infinite ocean at the very beginning, but you see yourself as a drop of water. Life seems alone and devoid of love, but you have infinite love, only you pretend that you don’t. 

When you are everything/infinity/god/Budda/Tao, you have infinite love from everything, and that moment of realization will be so fulfilling that life comes alive. 

You are able to celebrate anything and nothing, because you see everything/nothing as infinite love, as self. 

Every moment becomes blissful. 

The bliss that is both happy and sad, pleasure and suffering. 

You are experiencing infinite love everywhere from everything.

This is not something that can be gained or lost, it is there all along. 

This is a simple shift in perspective. 

Before I always thought of enlightenment as something you can gain or attain, but now is just a perspective. 

The perspective of God. Which you have, which you are. The perspective of ego is also the perspective of god, but it is not the only perspective. 

Word become meaningful/meaningless, they are all love. 

This is the love that you understand but much greater/lesser. 

Note that all the things I wrote here, the opposite is also true. 

This is something without effort, it is simple and easy, it takes nothing to realize. 

Everything is love, but here is an example:

Air is infinite love. Every breath you take is filled with infinite love/god. They enter your body, with the intention of absolute infinite love. Become aware of it, and every breath is infinitely fulfilling. So much bliss in that single breath that makes you infinitely fulfilled.  

Unenlightenment is enlightenment. 

This is describable/indescribable.