Quitting Video Games - Gradual or Cold Turkey?

[Waves]

Hey guys, first of all I'll give you some context:

• I spent a lot of time playing video games in my adolescence and I've continued playing until 3 weeks ago.
• I go to university and live in a city during the week and I go back to my hometown to visit my family on the weekends (let's say twice a month).
• I play video games pretty much only when I am at my family home, because that's how I got used to spend my time there, while my family watches TV or does other low-consciousness activities.
• It seems as if I was living two different lives depending on where I am. This bothers me, especially because I know that when I'll go back to my family home I will get sucked in video games again for the weekend and then I'll partially free myself from them during the week. I made progress in accepting myself when I play a lot and feel shallow afterwards, but I don't think I've done it completely.
• I'm becoming more and more aware of what a waste of life video games are. They compromised my social life and skills, my posture, the relationship with my family, and most importantly, they stole time in which I could have explored other activities and get a more accurate idea of what my passions are.
• One of the main reasons why I continue to play is that I don't know how to spend my time otherwise at my family home. I'm definitely more bored. Even meditating and reading gain resistance, and I am still not aware of what induces me to create it. 
• A close friend of mine gave me this advice, which is asking myself what I'm looking for when I play video games and then find something more meaningful to do that fulfills that thing. I'm still pondering this question, but one thing that comes up is socialization or the reward of becoming better at something.
• I am close to finishing the life purpose course, and I want to start to take action on my vision. When I am away from home I can get get in touch with my authenticity and my desires more easily and spontaneously, whereas when video games are available this vision becomes secondary in the present moment, because I choose to play instead of working toward my dreams. 

I want to free myself from this cage. There are too many opportunities and possibilities in this life to waste it in video games. There is too much beauty to witness, too much to experience, to explore, to live, to learn and to love.

The last time I played was 3 weeks ago and since then I haven’t felt any urge to play. The problem is that tonight I will return to my family home for 2-3 days, and it won’t be easy to resist the habit developed over the years.

Now my question is: do I stop playing video games cold turkey or do I make it gradual? I heard different opinions and would like to have yours as well, but in the end I know that I will have to decide for myself. I’ll appreciate each of your inputs or experiences  

[Rilles]

Sell your Playstation and/or uninstall your computer games, its the only way, immerse in your passion, youll be much happier.

[Ether]

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

Sell your Playstation and/or uninstall your computer games, its the only way, immerse in your passion, youll be much happier.

I dunno, I like meditating playing videogames

[Rilles]

@Ether Thats not what he asked, read the title.

[Ether]

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

@Ether Thats not what he asked, read the title.

Do it like a cold turkey man.

[Salvijus]

I think that question of your friend is excelent. I tried to answer it myself.

What I found is there are more then 1thing that makes one play games.

- wanting to be better then others

-out of boredom/ good for killing time

-it's exhilarating, intense and fun

- you can socialize with others/ good way too avoid feeling lonely

- satisfaction of doing something good.

- illusion of becoming stronger, better, more important (that's what whole humanity is seeking for (fame, career, girlfriends))

- run away from problems

- run away from feeling incomplete (witch whole humanity feels like)

So yeah.. good like replacing these things :D:D there could be more, and I could be wrong with some of them.

Do you meditate? @WavesI recommend shambhavi from sadhguru. Feeling happy from within would eliminate most of these things above.

 

 

[B_Naz]

I say gradual. Just keep playing but play with awareness. Realise what the fuck you're doing, Observe the effect it has on you. For example, when you play, does it make you sad or happy? Angry or stress-free?, Whatever feelings comes up, observe it, observe the pleasure that comes, but don't judge it as bad or good, just observe and don't resist.

You have plenty of time to remove the addiction and I find gradual is less painful... So don't feel guilty when playing

But if you're hardcore as fuck, then DELETE everything like the others said. 

Edited June 8, 2018 by B_Naz

[Torkys]

Change nothing. Be more conscious while playing games. That's all.

Everything else is resistance and this is exactly what this "addiction" is made out of.

[Waves]

Thank you all for your inputs. This post gave me the opportunity to explore more my situation.

In the past months I've tried to be more conscious while playing, and it led me to realize the shallowness of it, the pure dopaminergic stimulation and partly the reasons why I play. I also stopped to judge my experience as good or bad and learned to accept the condition, but the fact is reality I don't feel fulfilled after I play, nor I am using this limited time toward something.

I feel that I am on the side of the pendulum that requires a more drastic intervention, and what I decided to do is to take advantage of the past 3 weeks without playing and to see where the momentum brings me.

I've just uninstalled steam and all the other games from my computer and will observe my thoughts and feelings especially during these two days. I felt a bit afraid of giving up this big chunk of my past, but my intuition tells me that it is the right move right now.

Thanks to this I have the chance to get more in touch with the vision of the life I want to live, and actually take action on that 

PS: @Salvijus  Good list, I see that some of those items show up in my experience. And btw I do meditate (1,5 years now) and follow the techniques presented by Leo   

[Moreira]

I've always been addicted videogames. Played like 6 hours a day. Then I found a 8-6 job, and had to quit the addiction inmediately. After work i go to the gym, by the time I arrive at home I'm so tired that I've got no time to waste in vidyagames. My rest is now more important.

[B_Naz]

5 minutes ago, Moreira said:

I've always been addicted videogames. Played like 6 hours a day. Then I found a 8-6 job, and had to quit the addiction inmediately. After work i go to the gym, by the time I arrive at home I'm so tired that I've got no time to waste in vidyagames. My rest is now more important.

This is valuable. Finding a hobby or something else instead of gaming is a good way to distract yourself. Getting a job is better because you're literally forced to focus on it rather than playing videogames. Going to the gym is great as well since you'll get too tired for gaming

Edited June 8, 2018 by B_Naz

[Waves]

@Moreira Yeah, I experience this during the week, where I am more busy. However, when I am at my family home I have much more time. I should find some alternative relaxing activities to do there, and luckily summer is coming

[Ether]

@Waves Do a sport (alone or as a collective).

Then take a long relaxing hot bath  

[Saumaya]

Nooo... its e3 time baby

[WaterfallMachine]

I'd say some video games allow for some progress in life though. Just important not to be obsessed with it. It's a unique form of media that allows you to interact with it, and so many difficult decisions can be made in games that allow you to ponder on life -- especially in those story like games where you make multiple complex moral decisions. Lots of games also train fast reflexes and more puzzle like games develop logical thinking.

I think people's emphasis on it as a complete waste of time is wrong. Sure, there's a point where it's too much and it becomes an addiction, but not all the time. People are just overly cynical with any new media. Socrates was against the written word -- saying it'll teach people to have worse memorizing skills to rely on it. Then people were complaining about the new radios kids were having. Then people start talking about TV as being bad when there are some intelligent movies out there that make you think.

Now people are pouncing on video games as the next victim. That's a shame though, as I've seen how passionate some video game designers are with making their artform intelligent, and how difficult the programming for these games are. It's visual -- like paintings and drawings. It's auditory -- expresses itself in music. It can be full of text and story -- just like the best books. It's interactive -- and you learn best by doing. It's a combination of different artforms together, and yet people stereotype it as all bad.

My advice? Make it gradual, and feel free to still play but not too much. People say read more books, but some books are as stupid as Twilight. Reading books does not automatically mean you're making progress with your life, just as video games don't mean they're all dumb and a waste of time.

Just my 2 cents.

Edited June 9, 2018 by WaterfallMachine

[Waves]

@Ether  I swim, go to the gym and started recently basketball. The best part is eating afterwards though hehe

@WaterfallMachine Thank you for your perspective, I also think that there are certainly positive attributes (puzzles, mind games, reflexes, stories,...) to video games, but what I became aware of is that what draws me is the stimulation, that resemble more an addiction than a want to overcome a challenge. It's a mind-numbing activity in that sense, not a stimulus to solve puzzles and overcome challenges. I should have specified that the games I play(ed) are online multiplayer, like Counter Strike, Rocket League, Fortnite,... so no stories nor big challenges for me, only a dopamine-induced reward when I do an headshot or score a goal haha. Maybe in the future I'll take a different approach and consider playing single player games, since they add another dimension.

[Ether]

1 hour ago, Saumaya said:

Nooo... its e3 time baby

LMAO

[Guest Quanty]

LoL.

[WaterfallMachine]

@Waves I see. I think you've made a good choice, and I wish you luck on your journey. Feel free to keep coming here if you need help, or send me a PM if you'd like.

See you. 

Edited June 10, 2018 by WaterfallMachine