Sudden Everlasting Sadness

[Shroomdoctor]

So after watching Matt Kahn and being really inspired by his teachings, I started giving myself the permission to feel, act, and think exactly like my "inner child" wants to and I completely stopped guilting myself about it. Im still mostly sticking to my daily meditation, because I want to, but much of my other free time is spent "non-productive". 

That was like...3 weeks ago.  Now, the last two weeks I am feeling immense sadness, like nearly the whole day, everyday. Its maddening. I'm trying to let the sadness be there and not distracting myself too much. I also can't really get myself to do much. I constantly feel on the edge of crying, but I am never really able to actually cry.

I don't know what the fuck is happening, how long this might last, what it might turn into and how to best handle it. 

Anyone experianced similar things? Any suggestions on how to handle it?

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Something is guiding you in the right direction everything is happening for a reason use it to get to your ultimate goal...

[Rilles]

Could it be repressed childhood emotions?

[Shroomdoctor]

@Rilles More than likely, yes.

[Charlotte]

45 minutes ago, Shroomdoctor said:

Any suggestions on how to handle it?

Somebody once said to me

"Ride the waves graciously"

I've never forgotten that, ride them consciously shroomdoctor and with grace. I also see this as healing ?

 

[pluto]

Sometimes when you're in a dark place you tend to think you've been buried but you've actually been planted

The universe will test you, choose to Bloom!

[Ether]

2 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Somebody once said to me

"Ride the waves graciously"

I've never forgotten that, ride them consciously shroomdoctor and with grace. I also see this as healing ?

 

[Intro]
It's a revolution
Hmm, yea, hmm, yea
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[Pre-Hook: Kid Cudi]
Aa-aaa-ay, a-aaa-ay
Aa-aaa-ay, a-aaa-ay

[Hook: Kid Cudi]
Now, I ain't riding no waves
Too busy making my own waves, baby
I ain't riding no waves
Too busy making my own waves, baby
I ain't riding no waves
Too busy making my own waves, baby
I ain't riding no waves
Too busy making my own waves, baby
Surfin' on my own wave, baby
Surfin' on my own wave, baby
Surfin' on my own wave, baby
Surfin' on my own wave

[Verse 1: Kid Cudi]
Tonight is electrical
I done told y'all, this the cinema
I am on my Kubrick horn
Like a Spielberg Close Encounter form
Feelin' awesome to be black
And I'm murkin' all competition

[phoenix666]

3 minutes ago, pluto said:

Sometimes when you're in a dark place you tend to think you've been buried but you've actually been planted

The universe will test you, choose to Bloom!

wow <3 talk about shift in perspective. wonderful, thanks Pluto!

also reminds me a lot of this: 

this helps me through my own darkness <3

[Shroomdoctor]

7 minutes ago, pluto said:

The universe will test you, choose to Bloom!

How though ?

[pluto]

The best thing i have come up with these things go blue is see it as "universal tests" to see if you will pass or fail. The universe is always testing you and giving you want you want but also sending the equal distraction at the same time so see if you are ready for the next level(so to speak). This is the test. If you view things and everything that happens as a test, you will ride the wave of life much more smoothly. If you ride the wave smoothly, you will pass the test in a more effortless fashion and bloom, if you fall for the distraction, you're only going to be planted again thus, ultimately, all is well

There is a wise quote: You are not experiencing suffering, you are suffering your experiencing.

and most welcome @phoenix666 <3

Edited June 5, 2018 by pluto

[phoenix666]

On 05. Juni 2018 at 0:42 PM, pluto said:

If you view things and everything that happens as a test, you will ride the wave of life much more smoothly. If you ride the wave smoothly, you will pass the test in a more effortless fashion and bloom, if you fall for the distraction, you're only going to be planted again thus, ultimately, all is well

There is a wise quote: You are not experiencing suffering, you are suffering your experiencing.

love this <3 

I've actually just been tested by the universe, you know? I think I've handled it quite well, kept a calm and positive mindset (I used to be very pessimistic in my past) and... everything turned out well! <3 

I'll keep that idea of universal tests in mind, riding the waves smoothly 

[Leo Gura]

@Shroomdoctor Don't call it everlasting. Nothing is everlasting.

[Shroomdoctor]

@pluto Sounds plausible. Thank you 
 

@phoenix666 Very nice. I hope I do just as well

@Leo Gura I guess you are right about that. Something I should keep in mind.

[okulele]

@Shroomdoctor sounds like something is coming out, it'a great! You could help it out too. Play some sad music and dance, express what you feel through your body let it come. When you move like that the cry, whine and so on will come spontaneously and release.

[Arman]

is there a single human journey that doesn't have periods of suffering? after the honey-mood period of any methodology, practice or path, inevitably there are dry periods that test the will. usually the more you're convinced you had it figured out, the harder you'll fall. 

the human spirit is ridiculously enduring though. you'll think you're at the end of your rope and ready to give up, but more than likely you'll stick around and be revitalized by whatever inevitably comes next. 

maybe it's a test, but I wouldn't be so sure. it's maddening to endure suffering without having a way to make sense of it, and looking at it as though it is a challenge is a way for the mind to breathe again because it can start attaching familiar meanings and frameworks. It becomes a lot more A-B-C because every challenge must have a solution, and if it is a challenge then you now have an object to pursue, but what if there is no answer where you're looking for one? 

 

 

Edited June 7, 2018 by Arman

[Space]

@Shroomdoctor As your name suggests, i'd recommend a dose of mushrooms. My last mushroom trip involved around 4 hours of intense emotional purging which I was unable to do in my normal state of consciousness. They broke down the ego enough that the emotions were allowed to run freely. Not saying that it'll be the same for you, as we all know how much psychedelics vary from person to person, but it's worth considering for sure. 

[Nahm]

@Shroomdoctor Maybe there’s been this ‘you’, bein ‘somebody’, and thoughts that this ‘you’ needs to be ‘somebody’, and just a glimpse of how beautiful you actually are shook that ‘you’ loose for a minute.  You know, you are pretty beautiful man. 

[Ether]

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Shroomdoctor Maybe there’s been this ‘you’, bein ‘somebody’, and thoughts that this ‘you’ needs to be ‘somebody’, and just a glimpse of how beautiful you actually are shook that ‘you’ loose for a minute.  You know, you are pretty beautiful man. 

lmao

[Colin]

@Shroomdoctor

 

[Pernani]

Elliott hulse has some videos on how to release repressed sadness by sobbing, and I got this one from him: basically you stand in front a mirror and keep telling yourself "why? Why? Why..?" Screaming it and feeling it with all the sadness that's inside and sobbing like a little child