Santiago

Girlfriend sad because I want to travel with my friends

27 posts in this topic

@SFRL Yeah I know, but it's really hard tho... When she was crying saying that she wouldn't be able to handle it and that she didn't want to lose me it was heartbreaking.

She knew that this could end the relationship and at the same time that it would be super hard for her to handle it, so she was crying inconsolably...

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8 hours ago, Santiago said:

@SFRL Yeah I know, but it's really hard tho... When she was crying saying that she wouldn't be able to handle it and that she didn't want to lose me it was heartbreaking.

She knew that this could end the relationship and at the same time that it would be super hard for her to handle it, so she was crying inconsolably...

Maybe tell her you want to go on another trip with just her?

Plan the trip not too far out. Preferably still this year 2018. Otherwise you come across like as far as you are concerned you  can really take it or leave it and you don't really care.

Another trip/vacation wouldn't  be bad. You still get everything you want, and you get to do another fun trip with your girlfriend. 

Edited by SFRL

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I am just thinking. 

What you can do is tell her you want to go to Iceland later this year. They often got these cheap flights over there now. And it's an awesome experience. It's a very unique environment over there. The nature and all. 

It will be snowing there all romantic and shit. And you can visit the blue lagoon and all. And let's say you do that for a week. 

Then she gets to do awesome shit with you too. And you get to do more awesome shit this year as well. 

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We are breaking up, I am so sad right now, I love her a lot but I know I can't do anything about it, I need her to be strong and overcome her insecurities but she is deep down and is having a tough time.

She says I am a piece of shit because I will go on a trip with my friends having fun while she suffers... I know this is bullshit, but she doesn't right now so we are doomed, she feels like it's my responsibility to take care of her or something, she has to deal with her demons not me, even if I cancel the trip it won't be over, it will come again in other forms, next it will be going to my parents house or who knows what.

 

I feel impotence, I love her so much but her heart is disabled or something, she has too many demons to fight right now and can't deal with it, I'm sad for her, she will suffer a lot, and for me because I will lose her and I love her.
I consciously know that I probably will be better off without her in the long run, but I have feelings for her, it's hard.

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17 minutes ago, Santiago said:

We are breaking up, I am so sad right now, I love her a lot but I know I can't do anything about it, I need her to be strong and overcome her insecurities but she is deep down and is having a tough time.

She says I am a piece of shit because I will go on a trip with my friends having fun while she suffers... I know this is bullshit, but she doesn't right now so we are doomed, she feels like it's my responsibility to take care of her or something, she has to deal with her demons not me, even if I cancel the trip it won't be over, it will come again in other forms, next it will be going to my parents house or who knows what.

 

I feel impotence, I love her so much but her heart is disabled or something, she has too many demons to fight right now and can't deal with it, I'm sad for her, she will suffer a lot, and for me because I will lose her and I love her.
I consciously know that I probably will be better off without her in the long run, but I have feelings for her, it's hard.

Based off of this comment, I recommend letting go of the relationship. It will be a weight on your life. This is a clear sign of dysfunction, and she is trying to manipulate you. She needs to work on herself before being in a relationship. It seems a bit like the Narcissist/Codependent dynamic starting to rear its head. She will be okay. Manipulators like to give the impression that the victims of their manipulation are the only thing keeping them afloat. I was in a four year relationship like this, from age 16 to 20. Leaving it was one of the best decisions that I've made. 


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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Hi @Santiago

Discuss this with her " We made all of this drama just because of a trip, how can We live together ? "

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On 6/19/2018 at 4:35 PM, Santiago said:

We are breaking up, I am so sad right now, I love her a lot but I know I can't do anything about it, I need her to be strong and overcome her insecurities but she is deep down and is having a tough time.

She says I am a piece of shit because I will go on a trip with my friends having fun while she suffers... I know this is bullshit, but she doesn't right now so we are doomed, she feels like it's my responsibility to take care of her or something, she has to deal with her demons not me, even if I cancel the trip it won't be over, it will come again in other forms, next it will be going to my parents house or who knows what.

 

I feel impotence, I love her so much but her heart is disabled or something, she has too many demons to fight right now and can't deal with it, I'm sad for her, she will suffer a lot, and for me because I will lose her and I love her.
I consciously know that I probably will be better off without her in the long run, but I have feelings for her, it's hard.

I'm sorry it isn't working.. But like I said before, she won't learn how to survive on her own if you coddle her. It will be hard, but it's something she has to figure our for herself. No one can do it for her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being together but still having your lives outside of each other. The relationship is relatively new and you two aren't married, so it's just as important for each of you to discover who you are on your own as it is together. 

Don't hold on to this. You said it, "there was nothing you could do", and there is nothing wrong with that. You gave it your best shot, but she wasn't ready. That's okay. 

Just go on your trip and don't let this ruin anything. Enjoy your time with your friends, while you have no commitments or responsibilities. :) 

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