People-pleasing syndrom!

[MarkusSweden]

I'm a people pleaser! Not because I want to be popular and liked, I rather prefer that people are indifferent to me. But of course, I don't want anyone to dislike me. 

I think my tendencies to please people is linked to the fact that I want people to feel good.

I'm sensitive and I'm often talkative even when I'm not interested in having a conversation, just to establish a friendly atmosphere.

Energy wise, this is not a good idea.

If I just like to say "hi", but nothing more, I'm afraid that the other person will feel like I let him down or something. 

Again, this comes not from a a need to be liked. But rather I am sensitive to others wellbeing. 

How do you cope with that?(If you have this issue in common with me)

Also, my activity here is very much a training for me not to be a people pleaser, and I do rather good I think. I'm not overly friendly, and I don't say anything to please others, if I'm friendly and talkative it comes naturally because I want to. 

It's easier online though, it's another story in real life. 

Edited May 31, 2018 by MarkusSweden

[Ether]

You want to make others feel good, so you can feel good.

You want people to like you or to be indifferent to you because you dont want them to be mean to you, so, in turn, you dont suffer.

 

[MarkusSweden]

37 minutes ago, TylerJ said:

Learn how to have a more “?” kind of attitude . 

 

Haha, thanks man! 

[Ether]

14 minutes ago, MarkusSweden said:

Haha, thanks man! 

You feel that high? Its going to go away soon (or maybe it has already left) and whats gonna prevail is the old attitude. Its up to you if you want to change it.

[Moreira]

I'm also a bit people pleaser, but I dont think the reason is to be liked. The deep cause why most of us act like this is to avoid confrontation with others.

[Acche]

Completely all 100of the percents with you, right up to 3 weeks ago. Albeit I was in a heightened emotional state, so it was highlighted. Acknowledging it, has been much along the self-inquiry Tyler mentioned.

It made my skin crawl to face the buried, almost primal need to 'appease' the group. Ack.

[Nahm]

You’re more aware now of the ego’s shenanigans like thinking about how everyone else feels - instead of continuing to realize the truth within you. Being aware is plenty. It weeds it out.  Thoughts bubble up and just start mixin right in with all the others -so nip thoughts at the root, be aware there. 

If the end to suffering, enlightenment, and realization of nonduality are on the path... then thoughts about everyone else would be a magnicficent yet formidable trap, as it would generate much thinking, aimed without. You don’t have to say as much as it seems you think you should, that’s just the nature of the over thinking. It’s nothing, thoughts hold no power. You are the power.     Or get a job as a dancer and bank off this...hidden people pleasing talent?  You know I wish the best for you either way. ?

Ideally we’d change everything about ourselves, our perspectives and our circumstances, just for the frame of reference in experience - the wiggling loose of the mind - and you’re aware there’s a hidden gift in every circumstance. 

[nick96]

@MarkusSweden you have to put your attention on every sensation on your body form when it arises to when it passes and tell the truth about it.

This requires getting unidentified with some of your thoughts to some extent. 

[Utopian]

@MarkusSweden Read "No more Mr. Nice Guy"  by Robert Glover! Since you've realised that you're a people pleaser try to be present whenever you're about to say something to someone and take baby steps. It will change in time!