A Question

[Yog-sothoth]

Hey there, community! Love to you all

 

So, here's my story. Last year for me was awesome. Two years ago I discovered Leo's videos and was in joy. Something g I've been looking g for for so long and now it was here. As a kid I was raped by my uncle and I had loads of emotional problems. Still do, but one video from Leo's list hit me hard home and gave me the courage  to finally deal with it. I started visting therapist and followed every video Leo posted. Not every day,  sometimes it took its toll on me and I skipped, but I never decided to let go entirely. Let go of myself. And I cannot describe how much therapist helped me and how much meaning Leo has given me to my life. And awe about everything around me.

 

But as I slowly descend away from my past I feel lost. And worst of all, all the struggle towards my life I want to live leaves me questioning is this what I really want. And along the way I got really depressed. I work in a work I don't enjoy and in the morning when I wake up I tell myself that there is no point to anything. 

 

My therapist told me that this way of life is just breaking me and I am born in a wrong time for whatever that means. so we are working right now on my trust issues.

 

The question is how do you see? How can I ignite the fire in me to keep fighting? Does self help actually works?

 

Thanks in advance

[xXxXx]

"One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time" - André Gide

Keep going my friend, try to get rid of the idea that everything is a fight, it's not you vs. the world. Accepting the things which just happen to us can make a big difference, resistance and struggle keep you away from freedom and peace. Embrace adversity as much as you can and walk your path without being distracted by things you can't influence. The past is lost and the future will never be there. It's easier said than done, that's the challenge.

[Sleepwalker]

37 minutes ago, Yog-sothoth said:

But as I slowly descend away from my past I feel lost. And worst of all, all the struggle towards my life I want to live leaves me questioning is this what I really want. And along the way I got really depressed. I work in a work I don't enjoy and in the morning when I wake up I tell myself that there is no point to anything. 

Sounds like you're taking too much at once. You can't fix all your problems in a few weeks or months, some of them even not in years. You say that you feel depressed because you don't enjoy your job, but you have to understand that everything takes it's time, and you have to baby-step your way towards achieving your goals. Want a new job? Fine, but you have to plan it all out. The solution is not only to quit your current job, but to have a precise plan for finding a new one, a one that suits you, your needs and your strenghts. You can commit to spend 15 or 20mins every day (for a few weeks, maybe even months, depending on your situation) in planing, journaling, contemplating, or concretely, making a plan for leaving your current job and finding a new one. While doing this, ask yourself what is it that you really want? 

I know that this sounds very easy, but I have to warn you that this may require some serious work on your part. Finding their passion isn't a simple process for most people, and just this can take you a few months to find out (if you choose to work on life purpose, finding your passion etc.). As soon as you're clear about what you want to do for living, then you start to research the "HOW TO" question. 

I want to point out that you don't have to do this straight away. Maybe you have some other, more important issues in your life that you want to work on first. Like you said, now you're working on your trust issues, so maybe you want to leave this for later. Take just one thing at a time. I can't stress enough how important that is, especially if you're working on big, life changing things. So, pick what you want to work on first.

1 hour ago, Yog-sothoth said:

The question is how do you see? How can I ignite the fire in me to keep fighting? Does self help actually works?

Of course it works! But only if you actually DO the work, instead of mental masturbation and just bullshiting yourself. And please, stay on track and keep fighting, because it will pay off... I don't think I need to tell you that, you already know that it will  In order to achieve your goals you have to be willing to fight. I find that personal development spends a lot of energy, because it includes mental and emotional work. Therefore, be willing to take the struggle involved with it and that's when you're going really to grow and develop yourself  

Good luck!

[Yog-sothoth]

Thank you