Heal myself from hatred of other people

[electroBeam]

I have somehow developed a dislike for interacting with others. I see a lot of aspects in mainstream society as pointless, meaningless or unwise, and so have consequently developed a fear or prejudice against socializing. I suffer from a lot of judgments against other people's ideas, and actions when within their presence. I have also developed a bad case of envy or jealousy that pops up occasionally. I also have an irrational primitive rejection of the current scientific and religious establishments due to mis interpreting leo's videos and not keeping aware enough of my ego reactions to those videos.

I also have completely lost sight of any form of divine/infinite love. My meditation practices focus on elements of voidness and emptiness, not love.

Lastly due to a complex with masculinity, I have completely suppressed any feminine qualities within me, and this is starting to hurt very badly. I am always trying to hide vulnerabilities, and have resistance to showing it. Strong resistance even popped up writing this post.

I looking for some healing methods to get me over this hurdle. What practices are there that could help me express and authentically enjoy the presence of others, even people that would be considered bad nature? I have a strong longing to accept people of all shapes and sizes, who possess all qualities from deep neurotic jealousy, jerks, deeply selfish, etc. I really want to infinitiely love all opinions, and actions of people, whether those actions are watching Kim Kardashian, real housewives of OC, opinions that are racist, sexist, or who advocate in support of Trump.

Any ideas are welcome, and I would be forever grateful for anyone who could offer me something.

 

[Zweistein]

I think I "fixed that issue" for myself with compassion-focused therapy. You can search on youtube for Paul Gilbert, Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. The idea is simple: nobody in the world will be able to understand your extent of suffering and nobody will be able to show enough empathy and understanding for you - only YOU can do that! You can soothe yourself. 

Once I found enough love for myself this way, it was easy to have an incredible amount of empathy and love for others. I can also catch myself in the process of judging and remember: everyone is doing the best they can.

 

[zoey101]

29 minutes ago, Zweistein said:

everyone is doing the best they can.

 

I think that's probably the biggest thing.

People suck sometimes. You'll meet people that will actively try to screw you up because they just aren't happy unless you are suffering. But here's a little secret: of the 7billion folks on this blue marble, these aweful people are in the mass minority.

I truly believe most people just want to help each other and lift each other up. But these aweful people are so loud, it can be hard to really notice the good ones.

Try to cut yourself and others some slack.

[Zweistein]

Yeah, our behavior and ability to learn depends so much on where we were born and on our childhood programming. Everyone is "just" trying to cope somehow. With spiral dynamics, I can understand much better now how people think and what drives them and I can feel empathy for them instead of getting caught up in judgemental thoughts. 

From my own experience, I understand now that people who "want to see you suffer" probably felt like victims as a child and once they are in a position where they can make someone else suffer, they find some sort of joy in it. 

[d0ornokey]

leo has a good ideas on judgement: see all criticism is untenable video

and

https://actualized.org/insights/profound-quotes-004

[The Don]

Hello.

Thank you for opening this topic.

Most of the time you operate from your subconscious mind.

You are filled with negative programs and that's what causes this type of thinking.

Until you change your subconscious beliefs, you can't do much to stop it. Negative thoughts will always bubble up.

Take a look at this video and you'll understand what I'm talking about. It will teach you how to 'reprogram' your subconscious mind.

P.S: If you have a daily meditation habit please watch this video. (made by Leo - it will help you a lot)

Good luck.

 

[CuteCornDog]

I wish you the best with healing from your hatred of others.

I have problems enjoying relationships with other people.

[Zweistein]

@electroBeam Are you Leo?  Just kidding...

Edited May 27, 2018 by Zweistein

[Solace]

On 5/26/2018 at 11:20 AM, electroBeam said:

I have a strong longing to accept people of all shapes and sizes, who possess all qualities from deep neurotic jealousy, jerks, deeply selfish, etc.

What you have written just shows me that the parts you judge in others is the parts you judge in yourself. Love those parts in yourself by simply feeling your emotions which you judged as less than the divine. Any emotion is just as worthy of your attention, they were all created by God or they wouldn’t exist.

I’ll send you something special on PM  

[Nahm]

@electroBeam Sounds like heavy attachment to thoughts. Everything is pretty lovable with freedom from thinking.  Meditation is the way. (psychadelics are helpful)

You’re a deep insightful person, very intelligent, so I’d guess you integrate, and then lose it, find the peace, and then get a little sucked in to the chaos. High intelligence seems to have this relative situation to peace. In terms of letting go, completely, some people have less conceptually ‘formed person’ knowledge wise to let go of. Consistency of practices, multiple per day, might be really helpful.  

[Faceless]

@electroBeam

Well, you are aware of this movement of fear. That’s essential to see the fact in what is happening. 

Fear, pleasure, desire, “thought”, is where all this self image constructing and image projecting comes from. 

This is a very common issue, and very is important to go into in depth.

I would say instead of finding an answer to end the problem we should explore what the problem is. And in the understanding of the problem there can be an awareness that prevents those image forming movements from arising in the first place. 

Maybe we could create a thread and go into what is happening to cause this image formation, all of us together. As this is not an individual problem at all.

 

Edited June 2, 2018 by Faceless

[Guest Quanty]

You can hate all the persons (persona/mask/personalities). Just don't hate what connects us all, which is Air & Heart. 

[Nahm]

@Etagnwo It’s me, though. I’m the rapist, I’m the child molested. It’s all appearance of what we all are. You may want to start with easier things, in terms of loosening up identification. Like flowers, and puppies. The actuality of “existential” is much broader and deeper than you know...yet. 

[Nahm]

@Etagnwo So something that doesn’t exist is repressing all that does exist? I’m really trying to understand you. I’m not there yet. 

[Nahm]

@Etagnwo I see. I understand where you’re coming from now. Thanks. 

[Nahm]

@Etagnwo What meaning do you hold for acceptable? 

[Truth Addict]

4 hours ago, Etagnwo said:

Yes it's all you. But that doesn't mean that you have to like it. 

There is a difference between having likes and dislikes and being ruled by them (identification). 

You still want to heed your ego when it comes to discernment. That's what the ego IS FOR! 

At the moment the ego is using YOU to repress suffering. 

 

You can like or dislike it (judge it), or you can simply try to understand why it happened in the first place.

The latter is where you solve the problems. Otherwise, emotions only create more hatred.

[Truth Addict]

Just now, Etagnwo said:

Your emotions may cause hatred. My emotions inform me. 

It's not personal dude, we're just sharing perspectives. 

You think your emotions inform you because you have never questioned them.

Contemplate emotions, how do they arise? And why? Stop taking emotions for granted, they're very subjective, you create your emotions, this is the Truth.

Much love and respect for you ?

[Nahm]

@Etagnwo Like, simply put, if I saw an adult attempting to rape a child, would I try to prevent it, yes.

[Truth Addict]

@electroBeam

It might seem blunt and abstract, but all you have to do is just BE the one you need to be.

What helps you most busting your limitations is Leo's videos on how to stop being a victim. I've been there. If you have already watched them, then start taking action, don't give up control, love your self, accept your self, cuz you're a good person, I remember you helped me once.

Meditate, contemplate, inquire, eat healthy, exercise, go out with your friends, accept their perspectives, love others, love yourself, stop overthinking if you do (I assume so), and finally get enough comfortable sleep (I think this one is important).

Hope you find something useful.

Much love ?