how to stop going with the herd

[sarapr]

Where should I get the strength to counteract peer pressure and societal norms which I know are damaging?

It's simply too much to hear the same things over and over again wherever I go. It's almost like I can never escape toxic people. 

What are your suggestions?

( one specific thing I have a problem with is getting nose jobs. It getting out of hand and it is bothering me )

[Ether]

You got to decide authenticty as a value. Really, there is no special technique, just say no, lol.

[Amilaer---]

On 23/05/2018 at 6:34 PM, sarapr said:

Where should I get the strength to counteract peer pressure and societal norms which I know are damaging?

 

Self reflection.

 Question them a lot, this is my solution.

Self-inquiry, till the social norm is dead.
 

[Nahm]

Nature.

[Ether]

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Nature.

But Naaaaahm...the herd is the nature!!!

[Nahm]

@Ether

[Ether]

@Nahm I see some herd, ngl

[Sahil Pandit]

@sarapr Take a look past their nose jobs and see how much suffering is going on behind their face, then tell us you don't feel empathy or compassion for them...

[Robert]

On 5/23/2018 at 0:34 PM, sarapr said:

Where should I get the strength to counteract peer pressure and societal norms which I know are damaging?

It's simply too much to hear the same things over and over again wherever I go. It's almost like I can never escape toxic people. 

What are your suggestions?

( one specific thing I have a problem with is getting nose jobs. It getting out of hand and it is bothering me )

The strength comes from inside of you, and it's always there. When you know you need the strength, that's when you'll be able to utilize it. Doesn't matter how many toxic people are around you.

But play close attention to these two words: know and need. A desire to go against the herd can't just be a want. If it's just a want, you're very likely to lose against the herd because no one can always get what they want. They can, however, always get what they know they need. Huge difference there.

So search for that knowing and needing, and make sure it's TRUE. If it's true, the strength will always be available to you.

[Solace]

By following your excitement. When you have free time do the thing that is both the most exciting and which scares you.

Also, another essential component is self-love. Learn how to love yourself, and you will no longer be addicted to people and places for their energy/attention to "fill you up".

[Jamie Universe]

I find from studying my mind, a conversation typically goes like "Well I can't say this because people will disagree with me... and I can't have people disagree with me because then I won't have anyone to talk too... and if I don't have anyone to talk to I'll feel lonely" So in this example. the solution would be to not care about being lonely.

We put liquid and sustenance In our mouths because we don't want to feel starvation or die. Remove the fear, such as the fear of loneliness, the fear of disappointing people, etc. And there's really no reason to follow the herd.

 

I also think you can just will-power it though.

[Joseph Maynor]

Develop a big-picture understanding of life.

[Ibn Sina]

If you want to be a rebel, then start thinking like a rebel. Read about Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, Mao an Lenin. Those were the true rebels. It's not about strength, it  is more about passion and a deep insatiable desire for freedom and change and most importantly , tapping into the god-like courage that lies within yourself. Sadly in my experience (note- my experience , life events and  empirical observation, not my opinion), most women lack such kind of boldness. They are better at subtle manipulations, but  not boldness. 

[Arman]

On 5/24/2018 at 0:34 AM, sarapr said:

( one specific thing I have a problem with is getting nose jobs. It getting out of hand and it is bothering me )

hah, very typical of Iran I guess... when I was there I saw a guy who had gotten so much plastic surgery that he somehow looked prettier than most girls I've seen. He was like an anime character... really bizarre. Most of the time excessive surgery tends to have the opposite effect and make one look unpleasant I think. 

My suggestion if you are feeling patient and interested is to check out the first two chapters of the "Reality Transurfing" book series (you can find free audiobooks of these chapters online. Here's the beginning two chapters + rest of the book) by Vadim Zealand. The second chapter is the relevant one here but you may want to listen to the first for some context. He teaches a kind of 'create your own reality' law of attraction sort of thing, but that's not why I'm linking, rather, his information about what he calls 'pendulums' is what is invaluable and fascinating. 'Pendulums' are his word for the energy patterns that we are all hooked into and their dynamics. Once you kind of wrap your head around a few basic ideas it becomes really easy to identify pendulum structures (beliefs, people, cultures, emotional patterns, fashion trends, behaviors) that take away your energy. It equips you for how to say 'no' without causing harm or creating backlash, and also how to choose your own way. His writing is great because it comes from a different cultural perspective and doesn't have the wishy washy feel good stuff of a lot of new-age material. I think you'd really like it. I have personally found it to be invaluable from a practical standpoint of identifying and disengaging from things in my life that aren't supporting me.  

 

Edited May 25, 2018 by Arman

[Guest Quanty]

Quit society, as I did. Literally. 

I don't care anymore for social prestige, money, status, people. The path to awakening is to stop caring and focus all that energy on oneself. After one is able to uplift others, but first is pure selfishness. We can only help others by example and be in love with oneself. 

Edited May 25, 2018 by Quanty