Ups and Downs

[Truth Addict]

Hello ?

Recently, I became aware of my consciousness levels shift every while. Some days they sky-rocket, so I could meditate, inquire, even be extremely mindful throughout the whole day, and perform whatever tasks, all effortlessly. And some other days they go down, so I struggle too much to do those things, sometimes I had to skip my meditation because I don't find it useful just to sit mindlessly. And there are days in between, mild struggle, but I'm cool with it.

Guys, is that normal? What should I do or consider? Is this state of imbalance temporary or permanent? Or is it a theme of personal development? Was it the case all the time before and I wasn't mindful of it?

I tried to let go and surrender my desire to control, didn't work out. Or I failed to let go.

Love to all of you ?

[Prabhaker]

On 5/22/2018 at 6:26 PM, Truth Addict said:

Is this state of imbalance temporary or permanent?

This state of imbalance can remain permanent if meditation is one of the several activities you do during a day. Meditation is not an activity, it is way of life. You might be doing something anti-meditative also, you lose your balance again and again.

[Faceless]

On 5/22/2018 at 5:56 AM, Truth Addict said:

Or is it a theme of personal development

The one who wants to self improve is the one who needs improvement. 

The one who wants to improve is the attempt at improving. 

Every attempt you take starts off with an immediate contradiction. Instead of meditating and all that jive, understand this contradiction very deeply. 

There can be no meditation or real self inquiry until this is explored and understood. 

Edited May 23, 2018 by Faceless

[Viking]

11 minutes ago, Faceless said:

The one who wants to self improve is the one who needs improvement. 

The one who wants to improve is the attempt at improving. 

Every attempt you take starts off with an immediate contradiction. Instead of meditating and all that jive, understand this contradiction very deeply. 

There can be no meditation or real self inquiry until this is explored and understood. 

i dont understand 

[Faceless]

Are you different from that which you do?

Do you have an ego or are you an ego? 

Do you have thoughts or are you thoughts?

[Truth Addict]

40 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

This state of imbalance can remain permanent if meditation is one of the several activities you do during a day. Meditation is not an activity, it is way of life. You might be doing something anti-meditative also, you lose your balance again and again.

It's true what you said, I do many anti-meditative activities. I'll have to make sure I don't get caught up in those activities. Thank you ?

30 minutes ago, Faceless said:

The one who wants to self improve is the one who needs improvement. 

The one who wants to improve is the attempt at improving. 

Every attempt you take starts off with an immediate contradiction. Instead of meditating and all that jive, understand this contradiction very deeply. 

There can be no meditation or real self inquiry until this is explored and understood. 

I get what you're saying, the only way to improve is to work on my consciousness, not the other way around. Thank you ?

[Viking]

38 minutes ago, Faceless said:

Are you different from that which you do?

Do you have an ego or are you an ego? 

Do you have thoughts or are you thoughts?

i am the one who sees the ego, i am the one who sees thoughts, i dont feel like i am the ego or thoughts.

[Faceless]

4 minutes ago, Viking said:

i dont feel like i am the ego or thoughts.

Where does the ego come from?? 

[Viking]

1 hour ago, Faceless said:

Where does the ego come from?? 

After contemplating about an hour, I have no idea where the ego comes from. "comes from" implies it was somewhere before, but time doesnt exist. it just appears.

however, i did get a clarification about my previous statement. there is no "observer" there is only the observed, therefore whenever awareness is "ego" or "thought" it is that. in other words i am "ego" whenever it is awareness. "i" has almost no meaning because in my experience it's associated with the ego, there is only "being" or "awareness", whatever is right now, nothing more, there is no "i".

with that, I dont see how there's a contradiction when trying to improve yourself.

[Faceless]

Illusion exist as long as there is desire,pleasure, fear, sorrow. 

 

Has that ended in you?? 

 

11 minutes ago, Viking said:

I dont see how there's a contradiction when trying to improve yourself.

If you do not see the contradiction you are caught dualistically. Therefore this all an idea of AWARENESS. 

To improve oneself is positive action, a movement of ego/thought/duality.

 

Its only in the ending of duality/division that one finds freedom from illusion. 

 

To knwo oneself is to prevent one from escaping one illusion to another. It’s the cessation of positive action. 

 

Explore deeply into thought/ego. If it’s important to you of course.

Edited May 23, 2018 by Faceless

[Saumaya]

2 hours ago, Faceless said:

The one who wants to self improve is the one who needs improvement. 

The one who wants to improve is the attempt at improving. 

Every attempt you take starts off with an immediate contradiction. Instead of meditating and all that jive, understand this contradiction very deeply. 

There can be no meditation or real self inquiry until this is explored and understood. 

[Viking]

1 minute ago, Faceless said:

Has that ended in you?? 

nope, its still sometimes appears in awareness. sometimes i do notice its just awareness, sometimes i feel like that's happening to "me"- the ego, when I forget.

5 minutes ago, Faceless said:

If you do not see the contradiction you are caught dualistically. Therefore this all an idea of AWARENESS. 

what i meant to say is that you said theres a contradiction, but didnt point out what contradiction, i dont understand what contradiction exactly.

10 minutes ago, Faceless said:

To improve oneself is positive action, a movement of ego/thought. 

what's the problem with a movement of ego? the ego can move however it likes, it can improve itself. the ego is awareness, but that's it, what's the problem/contradiction there?

13 minutes ago, Faceless said:

Its only in the ending of duality/division that one finds freedom from illusion. 

what if we're not talking about freedom from illusion? consciousness work doesnt necessarily have to move towards liberation from illusion, it can also go for example for more joy/blissfulness in life.

[Faceless]

2 hours ago, Viking said:

nope, its still sometimes appears in awareness. sometimes i do notice its just awareness

There is no awareness until we understand the whole movement of the self/thought. 

Look at it very deeply...The escape to that idea “AWARENESS” is ”desire/will and the action of desire in the pursuit as pleasure. 

Until this is seen actually in ones self then there is only unawareness...

This is how the conditioned consciousness moves. Self sustainment ”security” is its very function.

2 hours ago, Viking said:

sometimes i feel like that's happening to "me"- the ego, when I forget.

perhaps you keep “forgetting” because you are not facing that fact “unawareness” check into this. 

2 hours ago, Viking said:

what i meant to say is that you said theres a contradiction, but didnt point out what contradiction, i dont understand what contradiction exactly.

If I have to point it out that means there is no awareness. If we can't identify contradiction then Illusion is inevitable. If Illusion/self deception are the fact then this “awareness is a romantic idea” heaven...after all the idea of heaven sprang up from the dualistic movement carried out by contradiction. Fear from what is to the idea of what should be. And the movement of duality creates heaven out of its opposite. But goodness is not born of that which is evil. Only the dualistic mind creates the opposite. And illusion/self deception is born. 

2 hours ago, Viking said:

what's the problem with a movement of ego? the ego can move however it likes,

Thats right. And if it does what it likes there is no awareness, no freedom. We then are inslaved by what is meant to be used as a tool. 

2 hours ago, Viking said:

what if we're not talking about freedom from illusion?

Then every step you take perpetuates and will end in conflict. You will continue to seek security in illusion. And in that very doing create and maintain psychological insecurity.

2 hours ago, Viking said:

consciousness work doesnt necessarily have to move towards liberation from illusion

Actually yes it does. If you are caught in illusion you are not conscious. One is only conscious to the extent that they are free of the illusory, the inattention of the movement of mind.

2 hours ago, Viking said:

it can also go for example for more joy/blissfulness in life.

If you are merely seeking security than there is and will never be truth.

That is illusion. To evade what is to an idea in the attempt to capture and maintain psychological security. If you are only interested in self soothing the ego, then the ego will continue to call the shots. And there will then be a life of contradiction, conflict, sorrow, and misery. 

 

If one seeks psychological security then one is not conscious/aware of WHAT IS. One must see WHAT IS actually the case , both inwardly and outwardly. WHAT IS does not choose. WHAT IS does not seek security...WHAT IS implies no movement of duality as the chooser. The ending of contradiction/division. 

 

Only an ego accumulated ideas. Only an ego seeks security in ideas, and defends them. 

Do you see that?? 

 

 

This may seem like an attack as ego/thought only cares about maintaining permanence. But if you drop all assumptions gathered by the ego you may find that any attempt to seek psychological security is the actual thing that causes that insecurity. 

 

Your choice my friends. It’s up to US to understand OURSELVES.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 23, 2018 by Faceless