Dark night of the soul on shrooms

[Nahm]

@astrokeen Why so much on a first time trip? Were you just really hungry that day? Not big on sharing? Setting a Guinness record? What gives?

[astrokeen]

@Nahm , I had read many accounts which said that the dried version was about a tenth of the weight of fresh. I was aiming for something around 3 to 4 gm of dry and thought that 30 gm fresh would deliver that measure. I balked at the whole MacKenna 5 gm recommendation.

Incidentally, there was hardly any effect for say the first hour and a half.  However, 2 or 3 hours later I was in state of delirium for a while.

Edited May 24, 2018 by astrokeen

[Nahm]

@astrokeen Gotcha. I was missing the ‘fresh’ factor.   I’ve only had them dried. Make tea btw, eating them adds a lot of nausea, and nausea triggers a pretty gloom & doom perspective, not ideal for a trip. 1g is an introduction and very funny if you’re spirits are high, nature really reveals itself, etc, 2-3 is deeper but simultaneously is ripping the ego away and allowing insights (not the easiest experience, but you’ll have some insights), 4/5 will rip the entire falsity away and make for the best experience (after the turmoil off the onset). Gotta ramp up though, maybe 1g more each month at the most, over 6 month to a year. Just the thought of eating 30 grams makes me pukey.  ?  Sorry if I’m preaching, hopefully it’s helpful. 

[astrokeen]

@Nahm , I quite liked the taste and munched away easily. They were not unlike morrels, with just a nice added flavour. The mushrooms were called "golden teachers".  So, presumably i had a 'ripping away the falsity' type experience,  In every account I read, however difficult the onset, there was always a pleasant ending with a person experiencing joy or love or connectedness. In my case, this was entirely missing. As the effect petered out,  I roused myself to go take a walk in the early hours of the morning, to get out in nature to see if something positive could come my way. Certainly, that was calming.

Edited May 26, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

Seems as if there is a big GAP between the 2 states:

1) empty desolation and meaninglessness

2) blissful consciousness of all as self

Which raises the question how could one make a transition from one state to another. 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 29, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

Excerpts from Eckhart Tolle - https://www.eckharttolle.com/newsletter/october-2011

"The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time.  Yes, I have also experienced it.  It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.  The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression.  Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything........

...... What dies is the egoic sense of self.  Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening.  Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.

.....You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness.  Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on.  Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning.  It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything..... to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence.  You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness.  Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore."

Eckhart Tolle suggests one examines the world without a frame of reference. I can't find further explanations on the net with regard to how one should make the transition to realisation of truth. If anyone knows of any, please paste here.

 

 

[astrokeen]

So, what does one do next to progress after a DNOTS experience. I guess that is akin to asking how do we gain enlightenment. However, wouldn't a DNOTS experience place one in a somewhat different situation? At least one has been shaken to the core and much of advice out there will feel inappropriate. 

I feel that the question I now need to ask is "who am I" and ask this with a meditation or breathing technique. 

This site suggests dozens of techniques - any suggestions about what worked well for you?

Edited May 28, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

@now is forever , thank you :).

[DMM710]

On 5/23/2018 at 3:04 PM, Quanty said:

Magic mushrooms will teach one the significance of death. 

Go with the flow, only the ego-focused mind will get visuals. 

Is that true? I took mushrooms twice, got some really great insights but zero visuals either time.

My sense of self hasn’t been solid for years now, I don’t even know who I am at this point lol.

I do still feel like some sort of entity, but it’s not as solid as it was most of my life. That’s interesting though, I’ve never heard that. 

Edited May 31, 2018 by DMM710

[astrokeen]

@DMM710 and @Quanty , 

I experienced ego-death, therefore, it follows that I must have been ego-focused. So, "only the ego-focused mind will get visuals" perhaps wouldn't have applied to me.

Incidentally, I have been researching the DNOTS experience in the last few days and it is generally known that experiencing meaninglessness is an intermediary stage to experiencing non-duality. I wish I had known of this earlier so that I could've felt less devastated. 

 

Edited May 31, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

12 hours ago, now is forever said:

but you got two children - how was that? did you know it before?

@now is forever , how did you know I have 2 children? Just a guess? 

I am not sure what is it that you mean by did I know about my 2 children before. But I do understand that one can't know about a dark night of the soul in advance - or it wouldn't fall into that category, i.e., not be so dark.

Edited June 1, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

@now is forever , ah, ok. Yes, I get it.