Dark night of the soul on shrooms

[Viking]

56 minutes ago, astrokeen said:

I was not in a state to control what I was sensing or experiencing. A strong shroom trip, after all. So, talk of it being my fault is somewhat misplaced. Perhaps I needed to go further into the experience, which I hope never to do as it was the most hideous, brutal punishment ever. 

I hope I can some day understand it by other means. Thanks for taking the time to explain the distinctions.

first, sorry if it sounded like i tried to be mean, I just told it without much consideration for emotion, only love <3 . 

I presented the fault in your reasoning (or the mushroom's reasoning, whatever you wanna call it). it's that you didnt take the meaninglessness far enough. I tried to explain it.

do some enlightenment work if you've gone past a point of no return. because as i see here:

18 minutes ago, astrokeen said:

I think I need to reiterate what is it that I felt. If that is the truth, then it is scary:

Life is a kind of meaningless hell for everyone - from which there is no escape. There is no loving consciousness keeping watch over us. All we can do is find another human being to form attachments with - human contact can, to a little extent, provide succour. Our work, interests, life styles are distractions from facing the awful truth of the hopelessness and meaninglessness of our existences. We can grasp at all these things only to mask the emptiness that is within us. It is all that humans can do. Death itself is not an answer - there is no escape. It is all darkness and nothingness.

you identify as a human. what you said there is true, there is no loving consciousness keeping watch over us because what the hell is "us"? what the hell is "i"? when you approach subjects like that you cant continue reasoning from the human perspective, you have to switch to the non dual lens. everything is one, you are the loving consciousness, you are the meaninglessness, you are everything. the human or "ego" that you think you are is just a distinction, its not you AND a part of you at the same time. 

everything sounds contradictory here but thats the nature of reality. if you wanna know you have to get into the work, peter raltson consciousness work, yoga, meditation, youtube videos of alan watts, ruper spirta etc.

dont worry, the world as you describe it is not really like that, its much more radical than that (lol). 

[tsuki]

@astrokeen Let me repeat myself, as this is crucial from my perspective:

After you've experienced truth - there is no running away from it.
You may not be ready for it and play hide and seek, but it will find you eventually.
Any meaning you construct will not last. The more meaning you accumulate, the more painful it will get.
All further awakenings will be easier. They were for me.

Deal with the truth.

[Faceless]

The experiencer envites fear and this is the formulation of experience ”knowledge, past experiences, recollected from the accumulation of memory. 

If that is in movement only then is there a center that fears. If fear enters in then the center has not ended. Therefore the experience has been projected by the experiencer. 

This carry over of experience in response to a challenge ”thought” must be finished, ended. That way once every new experiencing arises there is no center ”entity” or memory/recognition the past, which is where meaning is imposed onto new experiencings. 

If there is no carry over, there is no you that interprets, perceives, observes, but only observation free of choice, duality, time. 

In this there is no fear at all. There is only CREATIVITY, BEAUTY, JOY, COMPASSION, LOVE. All these are the qualities within the essence of TRUTH...

Where there is fear/self, TRUTH and all it implies is not. 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Faceless

[Viking]

44 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

Here's a picture I shot titled "Dark night of the soul"

wow, thats fucking amazing.

you said you "shot" it? you mean a photograph of real life? where is that? are there more photographs?

[astrokeen]

1 hour ago, tsuki said:

This is the miracle of the inherent meaninglessness.

1 hour ago, Faceless said:

Explore into the nature of experience. In this lies consciousness with NO-THING in it. 

 

Your understanding of the state I describe seems to be very close of the Buddhist notion of "Emptiness'. I am grateful for your positive take on this and hope my perspective will change. I can see some things changing.  I can see myself as being less self-conscious, calmer, more confident, more reflective, better at seeing that if I don't matter and our actions are essentially meaningless, there is no need to get into a tizzy over them. So, as you said, Tsuki, one feels free.

Edited May 22, 2018 by astrokeen

[cetus]

@astrokeen

[astrokeen]

I've just caught up with a few more posts.

I am deeply touched and feel supported. There is no higher consciousness supporting us but there are people like you. Thank you, all. Once it has all sunk in my exhausted brain, I may ask for clarifications. 

Great picture and quote, Cetus56. 

[Highest]

I have been trough it, and I shall tell you it is only the beginning my friend. The spiritual path is deep, hard and difficult to comprehend for the earthly mind. Go on, all this will pass away. No one can save you but yourself.

[cetus]

For whatever it's worth just thinking about dark night bought on a bit of an ego death/dark night experience for me. It's all good. I feel quite humbled now. Calm and peaceful. I contemplated the gates picture and it always gets the ego by the throat. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.  At that point all that can be done is to humble oneself. To surrender and pass through the gates completely naked. I recall Leo saying from time to time "I love fucking with my ego".

[MellowEd]

Sound like one hell of a ride ?

Dont worry about it. Your state of mind will change. Every trip is different. Im sure there was alot of wisdom and learning to your trip wich might be hard to see at the moment. Give it time and reflect over what you experienced before you go on another adveture.

Try change your setting next time. 

[Guest Quanty]

Magic mushrooms will teach one the significance of death. 

Go with the flow, only the ego-focused mind will get visuals. 

[astrokeen]

6 hours ago, Quanty said:

Magic mushrooms will teach one the significance of death. 

Go with the flow, only the ego-focused mind will get visuals. 

So, it was a good thing that I didn't get visuals? But, I must have been ego-focused or why the need to annihilate my ego.

Edited May 24, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

On 5/22/2018 at 8:05 PM, Highest said:

I have been trough it, and I shall tell you it is only the beginning my friend. The spiritual path is deep, hard and difficult to comprehend for the earthly mind. Go on, all this will pass away. No one can save you but yourself.

Only the beginning!! I was feeling angry today that my great desire and aspirations for spiritual evolvement or a breakthrough should result in such misery. Why does it need to be this difficult?! And if it is. what could I expect to happen next?

How was it for you?

[Vipassana]

@astrokeen go deeper

[who chit]

On 5/22/2018 at 11:43 AM, tsuki said:

@astrokeen Let me repeat myself, as this is crucial from my perspective:

After you've experienced truth - there is no running away from it.
You may not be ready for it and play hide and seek, but it will find you eventually.
Any meaning you construct will not last. The more meaning you accumulate, the more painful it will get.
All further awakenings will be easier. They were for me.

Deal with the truth.

True words spoken here.
Whether you want truth now or not,the choice is no longer yours to make.
The more you resist/fight,the harder it will be.

Quote

what could I expect to happen next?

You can't expect or predict how things will unfold. Trust and accept that what has to happen will happen of it's own accord,in it's own time. As Highest stated,this is only the beginning.
Seek to understand,not by asking why,but by being attentive and receptive to the process.

Hope this helps in some way.
 

Edited May 24, 2018 by who chit

[astrokeen]

3 hours ago, who chit said:

Trust and accept that what has to happen will happen of it's own accord,in it's own time. As Highest stated,this is only the beginning.
Seek to understand,not by asking why,but by being attentive and receptive to the process.

If the process will unfold of its own accord and only receptivity is required of me, that would be a tremendous gift. If, perchance, I have happened upon a process towards enlightenment - well, how wonderful. There is nothing I want to escape, I assure you. I am, however, fearful, that I may be stuck at the current stage and nothing will unfold. I might just remain in a state of confusion, over thinking things, alternating between moments of despair and optimism.

Edited May 24, 2018 by astrokeen

[astrokeen]

On 5/22/2018 at 4:43 PM, tsuki said:

@astrokeen Let me repeat myself, as this is crucial from my perspective:

After you've experienced truth - there is no running away from it.
You may not be ready for it and play hide and seek, but it will find you eventually.
Any meaning you construct will not last. The more meaning you accumulate, the more painful it will get.
All further awakenings will be easier. They were for me.

Deal with the truth.

@tsuki, would you please say more about your experiences. How did these unfold for you, which further and less torturous awakenings came your way? Did these occur spontaneously or did they require spiritual practices? 

[tsuki]

@astrokeen I wrote about them here:

If you have any questions - ask them there. 

Edited May 24, 2018 by tsuki

[Nahm]

@astrokeen You said 30 gm’s, was that a typo? 

[astrokeen]

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

@astrokeen You said 30 gm’s, was that a typo? 

No. 30 gm of fresh mushrooms. The effect lasted about 9 hours. No visuals though. 

Edited May 24, 2018 by astrokeen