What Might Be The Reasons That Black Guys Are So Atractted To White Girls

[Donnie]

Hey actualized community so am a black guy and as I develop my mind I have started to notice that I have  an automatic attraction to most white  girls I have a few    Theories as to why this is happening and I want to know your opinion

[Guest]

Share your theories with us

[FinnishJon]

@The SonHere's a theory:  Personal sexual appeal goes way up for somebody who is considered an outsider, i.e. someone who adds spice, newness, and a feeling of novelty (i.e. neophilia) to their lives.  

It doesn't have to be racial boundaries, necessarily.  National, linguistic, religious or ideological, professional, or any other type of social boundary that causes people to cohere into groups.  This boundary provides the psychological delimiter for the group loyalty instinct that is innate in humans.  Temptations to go outside the group are felt by the individual to be a relief valve with respect to pressures from inside the group to conform.  And it's also a form of selfish behavior, like cheating or free-riding against the altruism and trust which makes groups function efficiently in the first place.  Something like the temptation to cheat in other political situations, i.e. the tragedy of the commons.

Of course, there's a pretty significant backlash to this behavior.  Groups have mechanisms that punish disloyalty.  Gossip, shunning, exile, scarlet letter A's painted on the forehead, denied trust, jail, stoning, and the guillotine.   It also should be noted that betraying or antagonizing a rival group has it's own negative side, which range from family feuds and escalates up to intergroup warfare.  

Group selection was erroneously thought by evolutionary biologists back in the 70s not to be real or important. These days, it's accepted as mainstream and considered to be the main mechanism for modern human evolution.  I cannot take credit or blame for these ideas, as they aren't mine.  Happy to provide you the source if you're interested. Focus of the book was on psychology and the evolution of groups.

Ultimately, before I would adjust my own behavior to align with my personal self growth goals.  I would ask myself first, what group do I want to belong to?  And secondly, is group loyalty something that's really important to me or not?  If it is important, then should I contain my sexual desires for the benefit of the group which I feel loyal towards?  Or do I prefer the sneaking around and excitement of betrayal.  Many people do and not just black men and white women.  And more to the core of your personal self development is the question, how much do you value your own inter-personal self integrity?  Are you a hypocrite, or do you stick to your principles.  i.e. Can you walk the walk, or do you just talk the talk?

Hypocrites often err in thinking that if they don't get caught, then they just pulled off something that will give them pleasure at no cost.  I would watch Leo's video about Karma to have a quality in depth look at this subject.  I'm starting to learn compassion for those who have problems with self-integrity, including myself, but in the end, the way upwards really is through personal honesty.

Edited March 11, 2016 by 8LanguageStud

[Lynnel]

@Donnie Maybe you do not feel integrated in what you percieve as the "white society" and you believe getting a white girl will on a symbolic level change that ?

You tend to project whatever you lack into someone you fall in love with to solve that by getting the person.

[Guest]

I as a white guy personally wouldn't mind a beautiful black woman, dark temptation hehe... In fact, take the white girl Donnie and give me a black beauty! Light black is amazing too...hell I'd take any exotic girl, as long as she is not regular western white. 

But on the other hand, I also love extreme white girls...like very pale, too white...jesus christ what the fuck am I doing here lol

[Rudolflores]

The blanket answer would be that you dig on whatever brand of female because you do. It likely stems from an encounter in your formative years with either a notably "negative" example from your own race (and your attraction is based on rebellion) or a notably "positive" example from the other.  Also, to be considered is whether it is "all around" attraction (which includes subconscious stereotypes towards either race) or if it's just attraction to physical appearance. You gotta ask yourself where it's rooted for you.

Does your question stem from your perception of what "others" in your primary circle (or society) think about you and your choices or does it stem mostly from an internal struggle on the race topic? If the former, I'd suggest finding more open minded friends who couldn't give a shit what color of girl you show up with and making peace with yourself about it. Since the past is gone, you are free to create a new starting point for the reasons behind your attraction to "white" girls now.  Whether based on a trigger from two minutes ago or twenty years ago, how you feel about it now is the only thing that matters.            

After years spent on similar origin questions, they have all fallen (for me) into the "Chicken or Egg" category, to which the answer is always the same.... It doesn't matter!                                                                                                                                    Even if I found a satisfying answer, in the "big picture" those answers have not brought me any closer to resolution and (independent of any answer) the ultimate goal of being cool with where and who I am now, will still need to be contended with.                                                                                        

Although the search and answers (when found) have borne some trivial and somewhat cathartic benefits, such (for me) has served only as diversion from my most important goals, a mere time-suck and stumbling block on the "path". 

Hopeful that was helpful. 

Edited March 11, 2016 by Rudolflores

[Nathalie]

21 hours ago, Donnie said:

I have  an automatic attraction to most white  girls I have a few    Theories as to why this is happening and I want to know your opinion

@Donnie how do you know that you attract women because of the colour of your skin?

Edited March 11, 2016 by MartineF

[Toby]

Has nothing to do with you being black but with being a guy. That's at least my opinion.

[reez]

@Donnie Could it be due to the fact that black women never really has been "beauty idols". The overwhelming part of models for example are white, at least as far I'm concerned. This do unconscious effect to the society that the most beautiful women are white, which is definitely not always the case.

And then I think that @8LanguageStud have done a great guess as well  

Edited March 12, 2016 by reez

[Donnie]

@MartineF the girls aren't necessary attracted to me am attracted to them so far I have gain a deeper understanding of situation because of @Rudolflores @reez @Lynnel thank you for your Amazing insights 

[Donnie]

@8LanguageStud you too thank you 

[Ajax]

The first thing I thought is who the F*&k cares, you like who you like its as simple as that.

But, I did ask my wife who is black for an answer...

She said black men "spit" on their women, look down on them. They don't respect them... think they are full of drama and immature and don't wanna deal with them. She said that black men don't like their skin and that they stay with their mixed kids and don't give a shit about their black ones.

Clearly she has issues with black men... So basically with that opinion in mind, is that Black men and women have issues with each other that makes things not work out.

Maybe its a simple as  white women are more into the shit that you are and you got more in common with them.

But I am more mixed than a mulligan stew I don't know a damn reason for this, so that's my best guess.

[Donnie]

don't you think that if anyone is an outside because they came from a different country. won't they have a problem with there skin compared to the majority of people around them.

if so doesn't one simply have to love one self from the inside?

now for the past days I have started to ask the question am I simply attracted to white women  on an emotional level or is it because I want to fit in, since am the few black student in a white majority school ,?.

[Rocky]

I don't know for sure because each to their own and etc (and I'm a white male btw) and here are some of the reasons that I've heard  that many black guys find many black women are too bossy and have an 'attitude' which can put a lot of guys off. (Although I don't know but I assume this is probably just a minority of black women).

Or that either they just have a racial preference in favour of white women.

Or you're insecure about something, I say this because I've seen on youtube some black guys obsess over white women on youtube like 'Philko vs The Universe', who many in the comment sections have mentioned this.

Edited March 21, 2016 by Rocky