[First Post] Effort & Effortless in Being

[ctzonka]

Hello community, 

 

My question to everyone is, will it always take effort to be yourself? Will this effort get easier?  Being yourself is something that you organically are and should naturally be, but it feels that is something that is my biggest struggle. Let me explain further: 

 

(Painting a picture)

I decide how I'm going to act before I end up in a social scenario or whatever's next in my day. I feel vey down until I establish this and I bounce in between different versions of myself throughout the day (often with a lot of lows). I feel very insecure/lost when alone and don't know what to do with my life or even my day. I have an established job making 75k, but even so I feel so unfulfilled and lost day to day.  I don't even know what I enjoy, and the things I think I enjoy like exercise, running, basketball, take effort to enjoy. It doesn't just happen on it's own.   

 

I feel as if I'm detached from myself and I'm constantly trying to break through just to be myself. Which I'm not even totally sure who that is in full.

 

(Conclusion)

Community, how do you enjoy the day to day when you don't have a grand purpose in life and all these little activities seem pointless but that's all there is in your life? I believe I'm most happy when I connect with people, but, I'm acting with these people. Saying things I think they'll want to hear and see. I've concluded that an answer to this is to isolate and find who I am alone. Then gradually come back to other's. But even then, I say to myself what I'm going to do with the rest of my day and what not to feel secure instead of just being and doing what I wanna do alone. 

Is there something wrong with me,  or is this something other's feel too? 

 

This was a long post so I highlighted the key questions to the community. I know this is a little self-helpy, but I'd appreciate any help / insights people might have on this topic and questions highlighted. Thanks guys

 

 

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@ctzonka Hey, thanks for posting about this.

I have struggled with this in the past as well. It's a tough one to overcome, since residual patterns tend to stick around long after you've overcome those insecurities.

Anyways, there is nothing wrong with you. Trust the process that is unfolding in front of you and take the leap to discover yourself. Don't expect to "get it" right away. The nature of who you are wont come to you by forcing it. Start to authentically enjoying being by yourself, intimately by yourself, and slowly but surely take small risks with other people to show your personality without being too critical of yourself  give yourself 3 months to start, which is plenty of time to move toward being.

All the best!

[B_Naz]

Nothing is wrong with you. It's good your asking these questions, and you need to deeper. What is purpose? How do I get fulfillment and why? Or even deeper, the fuck is fulfillment? Do I exist? But try not to get depressed about these topics, and if you do, take a break. The truth is harsh and scary, but you will overcome it as you get used to it.

If you want purpose, then make it  

Goodluck

[Nahm]

@ctzonka Effort is a habit you’ve got, which has done pretty well for you. I believe what you’re looking for is the transition to effortless inspiration. I agree with going alone. You said you’re most happy when you’re connected with people....that love is not coming from other people, it’s you. Get away for a few days or so, don’t do anything. Don’t “effort”. See what’s there.

[ctzonka]

@Sahil Pandit @B_Naz @Nahm  , Thank you for your responses. I didn't know if I'd receive any responses and was a little nervous to post. It filled me with joy to read your responses.

I think a lot of it is rooted to self esteem and this low self esteem makes me question myself and my own opinions so much that it's hard to know my "self." That will be the start to actualization for me. 

Thank you for your responses <3



 

[Torkys]

Being aware of this and articulating this is a HUGE first step.

Authenticity is effortless behavior. Inauthenticity is when you are trying to change your natural behavior. 

Be aware of this and love/accept this until it dissolves if it doesn't serve you.

Seeking connection is seeking the authentic behavior of others and yourself! 

[Ether]

@Torkys "humn, im a 15 year ol, i know so many bout spirtualiti, wow, xddd"

[Gabriel Antonio]

I agree with @Torkys 

I would also add the importance of "connecting with those who remind who you are."

Do you have at least one true friend? who accepts and likes your imperfect version?

 

[Guest Quanty]

Well, 2 much thinking and conceptualizing my padawans  

Once you awaken not even God or the Devil will be able to shake one hahaha...  

Nobody can remind you who you are. Only pure natural selfishness. Pure healthy narcissistic behavior. 

Edited May 23, 2018 by Quanty