A nebiew that thinks he is advanced ?

[Capital]

I have a feeling that I'm a nebiew that thinks he is advanced in my self development journey !

I will till you my background story real quick , I think it's inspiring !

I'm 19 years old guy , lives in a third world country which is Egypt , my childhood was really bad , hardcore child abuse verbally and physically , religious Islamic family and culture , family that is fighting all the time about money and about their relationship , I was always doing stuff my entire life externally disciplined and based on the fear of family and the fear of abuse ,  never had sex or a girlfriend , never worked or made money for my self , I'm smart in my education and was good at school but I think the main reason for that is the external discipline of my family .

2 years ago , I have got into self development , awareness and non duality stuff ,I really studied this stuff , I got into really advanced things and I studied so much , I left islam , I have been meditating and doing consciousness work for 1 year now , I can't describe how it helped me internally , I now accept reality as it is , have a mind peace and inner satisfaction . I feel like I understand life in a deep level , high internally self esteem , acceptance and confidence , I feel fulfilled all the time , I don't have fear or worries any more , "I feel like I don't need to pursue or do stuff any more" .

I still live in my family basement with my 4 younger brothers and my low Consciousness family , I still haven't sex , I still don't have a life purpose , so I have a feeling that I went advanced so far and I feel like that feeling of me not driven to do any thing or pursue any thing in life is just trap of my ego to procrastinate on what I should be doing in life to really have a self mastery and an amazing life ! 

I need your thoughts and help on that .. I would really appreciate it

[nour-cha93]

Self Development does not mean you should quit life. It means you should just change perspective. I advise that you continue with your career and your goals. 

[Capital]

1 hour ago, nour-cha93 said:

Self Development does not mean you should quit life. It means you should just change perspective. I advise that you continue with your career and your goals. 

But when I'm conscious in the now .. every goal seam meaningless and I feel fulfilled within .. I don't know if that is my ego try to make me procrastinate and be lazy .. or that is a real growth that has happened too early in my journey !

[Nahm]

@Capital  What does your person want? 

[YaNanNallari]

Learn about law of attraction! Sometimes wanting less is the answer. Also, if you think you're advanced, then surely you might be compared to some people. But every time you realize something new it also feels like a fresh start to something new. Then you will learn that there is much more to discover.

[Capital]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Capital  What does your person want? 

there is a lot of holes in my maslow's hierarchy's pyramid .. despite that I feel like I don't need to fill these holes cause I'm already complete ! so my question is , can this be a trap of the lower self to procrastinate or to be stuck in my life , or is that a real early growth , because really I have been meditating and doing consciousness stuff for only 1 year. what if that's just a self deception ?? 

Edited May 18, 2018 by Capital

[Nahm]

You can self inquire, self discover more, and you can do whatever you like in this life. There is no problem. 

[Ether]

11 hours ago, Capital said:

But when I'm conscious in the now .. every goal seam meaningless and I feel fulfilled within .. I don't know if that is my ego try to make me procrastinate and be lazy .. or that is a real growth that has happened too early in my journey !

Lmao. You are not conscious enough if you think everything is meningless

[NoSelfSelf]

@Ether there is no meaning,purpose,goal, labels etc in reality

[aurum]

20 hours ago, Capital said:

I still live in my family basement with my 4 younger brothers and my low Consciousness family , I still haven't sex , I still don't have a life purpose , so I have a feeling that I went advanced so far and I feel like that feeling of me not driven to do any thing or pursue any thing in life is just trap of my ego to procrastinate on what I should be doing in life to really have a self mastery and an amazing life !

You're only 19 and I'm assuming the opportunity for these kind of things is not great in Egypt. However, it also sounds like there's a part of you that still wants it. So if you're telling yourself that you don't care because you're already happy, I would definitely question that.

[Moreira]

These happened to me. I had a no-self experience in a retreat. And dont wanted to come back to this farce called life, socitey, conditioning...

Now I'm another unhappy idiot working 9-5 suffering every morning.

I can go back to the state of happiness and drop this, but wont earn money and will end up dying of starvation.

[Nahm]

@Moreira You’re imposing duality. Without that, you could be making plenty of money, and have no suffering. This is the consciousness work. 

[B_Naz]

Why don't you just be aware of the ego? Don't fall for the traps for it. Do what you want. But simply beware and analyse the needs you want perhaps? The ego isn't the evil thing that we need to stay away from. I mean, it's best to but when somebody is starting off or even 5-10 years into self-actualization, it can be hard to just become egoless. The best practice I do to stop falling for traps is just becoming aware of the ego. I still do the stuff that is egoistic, but I am fully aware (or try to be at least ).

Goodluck

[Tetcher]

The answer is in your question, if you are so fullfilled and at peace what are you doing here asking questions ? What answer are you hoping for ? Live your life according to your own clarity !

You can do whatever you want, just see the consequences of your actions. If you quit your current situation what are you going to do next ? If you settle into lazyness at the cost of your 'low consciousness family' will come a time when they will put your 'inner peace' at test, so you better be sure that you are not fooling yourself, but the entire point of this thread is that you are not sure hence the dissonance you're experiencing.

Anyway your life keeps going, so why not go out in the world and live your life ? You can find yourself a job and live by yourself, you can become a beggar and meditate all day long, you can join a high consciousness community and impact the world with them, etc. Or you can take no decision at all and stay in your current situation until reality forces you to move.

[Girzo]

You don't need to quit Islam in order to pursue Enlightment. It's totally compatibile, just don't listen to bullshit dogmatic people say that has nothing to do with spirituality, but more with politics.

Yes, go and search for life purpose, do all that stuff, have sex, earn your first money, etc. It's 2018, being born in Egypt doesn't mean anything. As long as you desire something, you can achieve it. 

 

[B_Naz]

1 minute ago, Girzo said:

Yes, go and search for life purpose, do all that stuff, have sex, earn your first money, etc. It's 2018, being born in Egypt doesn't mean anything.

 

I agree. Just fucking do it

[Moreira]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Moreira You’re imposing duality. Without that, you could be making plenty of money, and have no suffering. This is the consciousness work. 

How? Jobs were created to make masses slaves. i suffer because im physically exhausted, im deprived of my time obligated to sell it for money in order to survive. Can you explain how cannot suffer being a slave?

Edited May 19, 2018 by Moreira

[Nahm]

@Moreira You’d simply have to change your perspective. Those beliefs are garbage. They’re just beliefs. 

At the very least I can deduce you have electricity & internet, and you have learned to read, write & comprehend the english language. Anything you do to free yourself financially will not be harder than those, which you’ve already done. Your attitude though, needs some letting go.

[Capital]

Thank you guys for your interest and help .. but here is what I have discovered self inquiring about this . 

The more I accept all aspects of life as me , the more I'm fulfilled and happy but the less driven I'm to do any thing or to pursue any goal. 

It feels like the more I accept the less change I want to make . 

Is that normal or is that a paradox and the opposite should happen and I'm deceiving my self ? 

[Barbarian Number 8]

@Capital  -No. You are not advanced. You have lived 19 years. You live in a basement.

...but you might be tougher than most 19 years old.

Consider that the world is a bigger place than you have seen and experienced.

Go out and taste it!