Releasing The Need For An External Fix?

[BHL_20]

@FindingPeace Please continue to share your beautiful message. I can see that you're open-minded and that what you're saying doesnt come from a need for validation, so don't let Nomad get to you.

[Guest]

What happened to "all people are prefect"?

You illustrate my point well.

Intellectual knowledge on what "mindset" to adopt is not self development.

It's just more "top dog", more beliefs to make us think were developing. More intellectual nonsense to get away from our emotions or make friends with them and learn to manage them effectively and free our true Self.

It might very well be a beautiful message in your eyes, but it's mainly bollocks.

Cherry picking ideas out of thin air and making up theories about the human condition while picking one liners out of statements and using the as a basis for a discussion, is not self development.  It's mental masturbation.

I don't care if I burst your bubble or not.

Most people here are stage blue, terrified of living a life of mediocrity, no rational discourse just wholesale swallowing of concepts, no looking for evidence based ideas, no win win problem solving.

Welcome to Ibiza

 

[Guest]

50 minutes ago, shouldnt said:

Oh sure "clearly" everyone on here is an idiot who needs validation. You're very judgemental. Excuse me, but I see nothing wrong with helping people out if you can. It's not up to you to decide what is helpful or insightful. People can decide that themselves. You seem to forget that this is a forum for open discussion and people can post whatever the hell they want. Moderators exist for a reason. You need to chill. 

I didn't say that. But you're another one who is illustrating my point.

You're projecting your own meaning onto my words, picking shit to have an argument over because you can't feel your emotions.

I said "the time wasters on here."

I did not say everyone on here is a timewaster.

I certainly did not say people are idiots or they need validation.

I'm talking about the people worrying about whether or not their penis is big enough and asking for somebody to give them a mindset about it.

Spoon feeding intellectual beliefs to people is not helping them.  

The person who asked the original question here even posted about being chronically late two days after starting this topic.

If he/she has actually listened to any of the suggestions here they would have been able to solve their lateness problem.

Does this not stand out as time wasting?

Yet people are still responding with advice. Even giving advice to people in therapy. HUGE NO NO!!!

Not asking people to clarify their problems and just coming up with some anecdotal advice anyway.  Very dangerous.

I could go on...there are hundreds of examples.

The fact there is not much holding back and thinking before opening ones gob is a huge worry for me.

[BHL_20]

@Nomad First of all, I never critisized/attacked you.

Second of all, you're saying that the posts on this thread are intellectual nonsense that gets us away from dealing with our emotions. But how did this thread start? The OP said they were using video games to fill an empty gap in their life. Things like video games and drugs are the real enemies here. They are what distracts you from facing your emotions and learning to manage them properly. I hope you can agree that at least these kinds of needs can be eliminated.

I think what you're saying is that the more fundamental needs that cause people to engage in such activities can't be eliminated. So are you proposing that (a) One should find a different external fix, albeit a healthier one to fulfill the need, or that (b) One should learn to live with a feeling of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, BHL_20 said:

 

 I hope you can agree that at least these kinds of needs can be eliminated.

I think what you're saying is that the more fundamental needs that cause people to engage in such activities can't be eliminated. So are you proposing that (a) One should find a different external fix, albeit a healthier one to fulfill the need, or that (b) One should learn to live with a feeling of dissatisfaction or unfulfillment?

c) I think you and others should look at course of self therapy I posted on here over five days ago.  Warning though, it might even undo all of the Eckhart Tolle mindset some people here seem about life.  Take the red pill, it's better for your health and it's what the world desperately needs right now.  Believe me when I say that losing your ego and it's capacity for good judgement isn't going to help you or your country when you have an Islamic fundamentalist army on your door wanting to cut your head off or the more terrifyingly stealth terrorism of cultural marxism thats been ruining modern society for the last 100 years under your nose because you spent all your life trying to find personal peace and fulfillment at the expense of developing your emotional intelligence. 

d) Educate yourselves on what "needs" really are.  Even your master Leo isn't even aware of what needs really are, so I would be very skeptical how well informed he is about these kinds of topics.

It's good to be around people wanting to self actualise.  But don't get the pluralism of personal choice, values or opinion get mixed up with a pluralism of ideas about self development.  It is simply not true that all ideas are of equal value in this respect.  Some ideas and models are damaging.  Especially the more idealistic bizarre models like Gurdjieff.  Very damaging.

Be critical and be more science based with this.  There are so many people who have come before you that have left this path because they realised that they were just studying junk, became recluses, didn't understand concepts like "meaninglessness" and fell into mental illness.

Be careful.

 

 

 

[dystopia]

1 hour ago, Nomad said:

I didn't say that. But you're another one who is illustrating my point.

You're projecting your own meaning onto my words, picking shit to have an argument over because you can't feel your emotions.

I said "the time wasters on here."

I did not say everyone on here is a timewaster.

I certainly did not say people are idiots or they need validation.

I'm talking about the people worrying about whether or not their penis is big enough and asking for somebody to give them a mindset about it.

Spoon feeding intellectual beliefs to people is not helping them.  

The person who asked the original question here even posted about being chronically late two days after starting this topic.

If he/she has actually listened to any of the suggestions here they would have been able to solve their lateness problem.

Does this not stand out as time wasting?

Yet people are still responding with advice. Even giving advice to people in therapy. HUGE NO NO!!!

Not asking people to clarify their problems and just coming up with some anecdotal advice anyway.  Very dangerous.

I could go on...there are hundreds of examples.

The fact there is not much holding back and thinking before opening ones gob is a huge worry for me.

"You're projecting your own meaning into my words." Well no shit, that's how brains work! You take in information, infer meaning based on past knowledge or experience, and respond the only way you know how. You do it too. You're sitting there assuming I want to argue because "I can't feel emotions". You don't know a damn thing about me and we obviously process things very differently.

Forums are no different from having conversations about things... people do that all the time. It's just people giving advice based on what they know, it's not like theres a team of experts here to tell you exactly what to do.

Everyone is just trying to find their way, take in what is useful, and learn by themselves. Learning is a life long process. Plus, no matter how much advice you give some people, it takes time to inplement & they may not implement it at all. Just get stuck in homeostasis. 

I get what you're saying & you make good points but you should be less judgemental and more open minded. Most people will not listen to you if you talk shit about the forum they visit and tell them they're wasting their time & being rude about it. 

[Guest]

@shouldnt Continue to fill your mind with junk as you project your meaning onto me.  Protect it.  It's your own personal choice to be unconscious or to find out more about why you are still happy having a conversation with yourself.

Whether you believe in your ideas or not is of irrelevence.  The fact is you're happy to internalise a belief system on top of the belief system you hold while continuing to have conversations with yourself about what you think is out there.

I don't care what you do.

I am moving along because this site is bollocks.

Ask yourself why it's full of kids?  I propose that will be because most rational sane people click on by when they get about 4 minutes into Leo's videos because they see it's just another load of idealistic crud self help.

The self help industry needs people like Leo and idealistic kids to keep them in business.

I'm twice your age and I remember being in your shoes once.  I empathise.  See, because I can.

Can you empathise with me?

Doesn't see that you can because you have no frame of reference or experience in life.

Anyway, I'm getting bored having a conversation with somebody who isn't even able to contact their environment.

Yawn. goodnight

[dystopia]

1 hour ago, Nomad said:

 

Most people here are stage blue, terrified of living a life of mediocrity, no rational discourse just wholesale swallowing of concepts, no looking for evidence based ideas, no win win problem solving.

 

 

I disagree. I think a lot of people on here, including Leo are surpassing the orange stage because they see the limits of scientific thought.

[kalter000]

1 minute ago, Nomad said:

I am moving along because this site is bollocks.

Ask yourself why it's full of kids?  I propose that will be because most rational sane people click on by when they get about 4 minutes into Leo's videos because they see it's just another load of idealistic crud self help.

The self help industry needs people like Leo and idealistic kids to keep them in business.

If you are still here I'm really interested to hear what's in your opinion real self-development and what resources one might need to grow and mature? And what self-help material is not idealistic? 

[Guest]

@kalter000 I'm not sure how many times I need to point out the same instruction.  Is it because nobody really reads the thread properly and tries to assimilate all the knowledge before commenting? (that is an orange skill by the way - and seeing as there is none of that being demonstrated here I think it's safe to assume that the centre of gravity here is still blue)

Have a good evening all of you.

Good night and god bless

[dystopia]

@Nomad that's not empathetic that's still judgemental. You think you're so much smarter because you're a little older.

If you really know better and want to help you would not be throwing a temper tantrum and then running away like a little child. Peace.

[BHL_20]

@Nomad Ok the video you posted earlier is about subselves dominating the true self and how that can cause problems. That's very abstract. I'd like to see what the evidence for that is, and I'd like to know what it's supposed to mean. I don't think he's talking about the ego and enlightenment like the people on this forum.

I mean FindingPeace's "theories" were simply that it's possible to get rid of needs, it's reasonable to believe something like that can be experienced. Needing something at a point in your life then later not needing it at all. Unlike this multiple selves theory.

As for (d), what in your opinion are needs so?

[Guest]

@shouldnt I don't think I'm better.  This is more of your mind.

However, I do see that you are young and idealistic. 

Judgemental is overly criticising.  I am not on this planet to molly coddle you and make you believe I am perfect and without criticism.  I'm seeing whats true and false, I'm not saying anything about anybody here personally.  I'm talking ideas, not people.

I have made some suggestions and if you don't want to look into this guys course then fine.  He is helping you and not asking for your money.  And the wonderful thing is he gives you the stuff that self help industry keeps from you so they can keep making a buck from you.

Its also evidence based.

what more do you want?

You want a conversation about this that n the other.

My time would be better spent somewhere else, I was maybe stupid thinking I could influence people to try this stuff out.

I haven't got time and energy to continue a back n forth debate on shit that's already been documented.  There's volumes of it and all the hard work is done.

Who cares about reinventing the wheel about where needs come from? The evidence is there.  It's not my problem you don't want to educate yourself before trying to re-esablish what the human condition is about.  If I wanted that I'll become a psychologist and help evolve these methods.  

The thread is here for eternity, whoever is ready will find it.

 

[Guest]

@BHL_20 I've said it before (about 20 times now) if you read this thread, look at the information objectively and do the homework then come back in six months and have a conversation. The evidence is there.  Clicking the link, that's a good start!

Enlightenment?

What is that?  If you can't even get your authentic self sorted you are going to have a hard trouble taking it further.

And youre talking complete bollocks, you think this guy/girl here with their chronic lateness needs some enlightenment pointers?

This stupidity is getting beyond a joke.

Can you people not think before you post?

 

 

Edited March 15, 2016 by Nomad

[dystopia]

@Nomad True & we appreciate your input BUT nobody forced you to debate. You're the one who got mad you couldn't "infulence" people and started to defend your stance to the death. But I get that you just didn't want people getting misinformation  (even tho the theories were valid)

Also wanting to find peace & fulfillment is a green trait. Since you keep insisting you don't see any orange. I don't see any damn religious blues, that's for sure. 

[Guest]

@shouldnt I really like your spirit, but you're starting to get on my wick now.  I'm logging out.  Good night

 

 

[Guest]

@BHL_20 I mean, I don't want to insult your BHL-20 intelligence, but there is a link at the bottom of the video.  Just incase you missed it.

Happy reading.

 

[dystopia]

@Nomad Listen, I don't think you should abandon the forum. Regardless of how this thread turned out I think you can give valuable input. People grow faster when their beliefs and views are challenged often. If people like you leave this forum will really become a bunch of like minded validation bullcrap. I think you could help, if you don't mind being unpopular. (this wouldn't necessarily be the case) Althought, I'm guessing you do mind. Have a good night.

Edit: I admit I was kind of passively replying to you earlier because I was at work. My replies were not well thought out. Sorry for irritating you. I went back and watched the video you posted. Good stuff, so far. Never heard of the subselves. 

I hadn't had a chance to look at your studies. I'm on part 2 of the bomb in the brain.

Edited March 15, 2016 by shouldnt

[FindingPeace]

 

@shouldnt

18 hours ago, shouldnt said:

If I hadn't found Leo's videos about being a victim, I wouldn't have been able to stop by myself. I wouldn't have believed I could.

Leo has some really powerful life-changing videos. The first one I came across was the "How to stop being a victim". There was profound insight right there. Then I went on to watch "Responsiblity vs Blame". I think these are the two most fundamental and important personal-development videos. His other ones on happniess, judgement, stress, worry, depression etc all lay down the foundations for the inner work that has led me to where I am now. I often think that it is these fundmental psychological concepts that are more important than all the external action and creation of the 'extraordinary life'. The extraordinary life begins once we remove all the negative and limiting thinking patterns. From there on we can take more constructive external action based on more positive and healthy psychology.

18 hours ago, shouldnt said:

Personally, I'm going to continue to pursue my art. Whether that be drawing, music, or some other interest. As much as I fear not making enough money, I also no longer feel a need for excess to be happy. I'm working on getting rid of worry and neurosis & getting to the root of my needs. 

If only everyone took time out to do this in life. Sometimes I think that people spend so much time taking big external action, thinking they are self-developing, when in fact all they are doing is trying to distract themselves from their neuroses and insecurities and convince themselves of their apparent success. I guess this is what Leo was describing in his "Fake growth vs real growth" video.

Taking time to focus on yourself, explore your passions whilst doing the cruicial inner work first seems like the healthy way around to do things. It is what I too am doing. I want to get the inner-work down first and then take a look out in to the world with a clear lens.

I wish you the best

 

Edited March 16, 2016 by FindingPeace

[dystopia]

@FindingPeace You upvoted all my posts again yay you are an angel. Yeah, I wish more people would do that too. The problem of filling your life with habits just to forget your internal turmoil wouldn't be so bad if more people were taught to introspect. Of course, people would still find a need to fill their empty lives, as you said.

I grew up in a family who loves drama. Everyone's always arguing, using emotional manipulation, and being vindictive as hell to guilt the other person into submission (because fuck logic). It's a terrible habit but I still am not fully over it. I think that's what happened yesterday. It's cool that you're immune to the bullshit tactics I was taught @Nomad . I need people like that in my life. Bad things come out when I'm on autopilot.

That must be why I have. A fear of exploration holy poop. Because I don't trust myself to make good decisions quick enough. Life moves too fast for me I think too much impulsively never turns out well for me. .

@Nomad I did watch most of the bomb in the brain part two. I took psych 101 but I underestimated the effect childhood trauma does have. I think I fell asleep after 50 mins. (Before you judge me for not having an attention span I do too I just have a physically intensive job so I'm always exhausted) it was the part about emotional eating. I learned a lot about fat people I didn't know. I can relate.

I have never been obese but I had bulimia on and off for years. Throwing up is obviously disgusting but I was addicted to the emotional release. That feeling after doing it where you feel so much lighter and kind of light headed. It got especially bad when people upset me. I'm learning so much, thanks you guys.