Releasing The Need For An External Fix?

[Keyblade Viking]

On 2016-03-10 at 0:17 PM, Emilio said:

Great post!

I've been trying to do introspection myself but it's not easy. The specific problem I'm having is that I get the feeling that I "need" a certain girl. For love, appreciation and sex. Even though I know logically that my happieness doesn't depend on these things, the feeling of needing is very much real. 

The questions I've been asking myself is basically like: Why do I feel i need these things? But I'm drawing a blank on the answer. It doesn't seem to be in me. It's so frustrating because I don't want to feel this need any longer. It's affecting my behaviour and furthermore making our relationship less than it could be.

Am I asking the wrong questions? Should I come at the problem from a different angle? Or just keep at it?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciatet!

Thank you all!

 

Just recently I was looking at the chakra system and asked myself some questions until I finally got the answers I was satisfied with and I came to the realization that Lust is the results of running from your fears and a way to feel secure about yourself.

I also discovered many other problems I have myself and I'll probably make a new thread about it soon. 

[FindingPeace]

@Nomad @shouldnt

On 10/03/2016 at 5:46 PM, Nomad said:

I am interested in any evidence you could provide

A) A copy of the method you use to eliminate needs.  Some links to the resources you have used.

B) Information that all human needs except the base physiological needs of safety, food and shelter can be "eliminated"

Let's have another go at this one.

There is no defined method as such and no resource as this come only from personal experience from deep introspections and mindset-reframes. Also, I didn't say that all humans needs can be eliminated. What I implied was that it is possible to elliminate some needs. Maybe not for everyone or every need. But the possibility exists.

My theory comes down to this:

Many needs are believed to be true but are often a misdirection of some otherm deeper need. They also aren't really understood. So we may feel the 'need' for love, for example, without actually knowing what that need really is and what would actually satisfy it. Also, what are needs? Are they a 'given' thing, are they genetic and hard-wired in to oue brains? Or are they 'software' - condtioning through childhood, environment and culture? Are needs 'hard' or 'soft' - fixed or malleable? I hold the theory of them being conditioned beliefs. But, that said, there are some fundmental basic needs that we, along with all lifeforms, have that are required for survival. But these are rarely the cause of people's daily suffering and dysfunctional lives. Most problematic needs are perceived from limiting or faulty beliefs.

But the root cause of many needs is a feeling of 'lacking'. That is to say that we feel that something is 'missing' that needs to be obtained.

The best analogy I can think of is this: imagine a drinking glass. There is nothing in it. We see it as a container and that when it isn't containing anything that it is 'empty'. Because we see it as a container we understand that it 'needs' to contain something. But what if we stopped looking at this glass as a container? Removed that label and expectation? Then it would no longer be 'empty' and no longer require filling up.

We do this with ourselves. We look at aspects of our lives and see them as 'containers' that are empty. We relentlessly search for ways to fill these containers but we don't really know what the containers actually needs, what fits, and what will stisfay that need. Once we do fill it with something we spend our lives trying to avoid loosing it and becomming empty again.

So I surmise that it is possible to re-evaluate some of our needs and reframe our belief that they are containers that require filling. And that there is no ideal set of external circumstances that will completely and reliably fill it anyway.

This is the other point - realising the futility with some needs. That actually there is no perfect solution that will satisfy them. This I can relate to. When I have realised that something I thought I needed in my life is actually unobtainable in reality. That I can waste my life chasing something that I can't even define acurately because I never inverstigated the nature of the need in the first place. Once I realised that not only did I not truly understand the root of the need, and that nothing would satisfy it anyway, the 'need' effectively dissolved. It effectively turned out to be a neuroses and not a need at all.

This might be something unique to the specific examples of my own life, and in time I may discover that I'm only lying to myself. Possibly. But I think we should remain open to the possibility of this concept rather than accepting the contrary as truth. I see that as a limiting belief that could prevent many people from addressing the roots of their needs and actions.

It may be that needs cannot be eliminated. But it is my preference to believe that they can as it provides a potential door we can go through rather than blocking any efforts of even trying to go through it.

[dystopia]

@FindingPeace This is great. I feel like this has really giving me some insight on myself, more than almost anything ever has. Thank you.

Since you say it varies by individual, it made me use myself as an example (rather than picking apart generalized needs, like I was going to originally).

Since I was a kid I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would sketch out clothing and my cousin and I would talk about one day pursuing it together.

I thought it was something I always knew I wanted to do. However, it never was. It was something I told myself I wanted to do because it was suggested to me by my mother and my cousin.

Later in life, my passion became music. This always seemed like my true passion because listening to it has always been a borderline spiritual experience for me. I can get lost in it and forget about all my problems. I have considered making my own and becoming an edm artist.

I look at other edm artists and imagine traveling the world, making music, having the time of my life. However, one thing that puts me off is the hectic lifestyle, playing in clubs, and being the center of attention.

I never desired fame, that is not the point. In fact I am so introverted that I prefer no attention. I love living in my own little world.

Since starting my personal development journey (about a year ago), I have cut out a lot of "friends" I felt would hinder my progress. Because they were so far from development and spirituality, so lost in chimpery, I felt it would negatively affect me.

Since then, I've spent most evenings by myself, in my room. I find it enjoyable, most days. Reading, learning about ideas and speculating in my mind. Exercising, doing yoga, writing and drawing, quietly. I get annoyed at my family members & friends randomly visiting for disturbing my peace.

All I want is to be peaceful and pursue my creativity, when I feel like it. I would much rather draw quietly than go to a party. I would much rather walk and observe nature than go to dinner with friends. I would still like to travel only to see more of nature, as I'm dissatisfied with the scenery and weather, where I reside. I have stopped trying to fit in, stopped caring about ambition,  and discovered a peace I have always craved.

But then comes the question: is what I feel like I need simply due to homeostasis? Is peace my only true motivation? Is it my ego that makes me feel guilty about not pursuing my dreams? Or is it actually cowardice using peace as a justification for not pursuing my dreams?

Honestly, the only motivation for me is money and having a place to live, keeping all my creature comforts. I am too afraid to explore, live on the bare minimum and go where the wind blows just to be peaceful.

I am too concerned about stability. That is the world we live in, is it not? I'm afraid of not fitting into the system somehow because I fear ending up homeless and hungry. That can't be my ego, right?

I lack an internal motivation to pursue a lucrative career. But I also fear not doing it. This has been the main cause of my inner struggle, for years.

So what is the root need here? Is it stability? Security? Must not be something that can be eliminated.

All I know is I'm starting to understand why Leo says his ultimate goal is to become a yogi.

Edited March 14, 2016 by shouldnt

[FindingPeace]

@shouldnt I can relate to so much of what you wrote. There are strong parallels with my own life.

54 minutes ago, shouldnt said:

All I want is to be peaceful and pursue my creativity, when I feel like it.

This I can relate to strongly.

55 minutes ago, shouldnt said:

Is peace my only true motivation? Is it my ego that makes me feel guilty about not pursuing my dreams? Or is it actually cowardice using peace as a justification for not pursuing my dreams?

Good question. One I've found myself asking.

When I think about all things I've thought were 'needs', like hobbies, interests, relationships, careers, money, location, travel etc, I realise how adament I was about each of them and how if anything was 'missing' I would feel lacking. But circumstances in my life have actualy led me to not being able to follow up on most of these things. I lost direction and gave up control of my life, winding up with very little in terms of personal 'needs' being met. For some time this created a huge amount of cognitive dissonance and emotional problems, also depression.

The combination of learning more about inner-work, learning more about our psychology and what is 'real' and what isn't, so to speak, and being deprived of 'needs' led to me having multiple epiphanies about them. I've spent a lot of time developing acceptance for reality and of my situation. In doing this I have become very at peace with myself even though I no longer have much of what I previously believed I wanted or needed. I now see these things as a 'supplement' to an already peacful existance.

Is peace a valid motivation? Is it a way of avoiding responsibility? Perhaps, depending on your root drives it could be a diversion tactic, or perhaps it could be a genuine need in itself. From my perspective seeking a peaceful existance comes before persuing the 'other' stuff. I am working on the theory that it is possible to be completely at peace with one's self and the world with very few needs at all. After all, with complete peace of mind, what action needs to be taken? There comes a point when the 'dreams' become unnecessary. But we can still pursue them if we wish to.

I can't speak for your situation. Whether your ego is telling you that you should be doing something, or whether you genuinely are happy being peaceful without the need to actively pursue 'greatness', that's something you need to introspect on over time.

1 hour ago, shouldnt said:

Honestly, the only motivation for me is money and having a place to live, keeping all my creature comforts. I am too afraid to explore, live on the bare minimum and go where the wind blows just to be peaceful.

I am too concerned about stability. That is the world we live in, is it not? I'm afraid of not fitting into the system somehow because I fear ending up homeless and hungry. That can't be my ego, right?

Two things here. Firstly you are admiting fear of exploration. So that is something that is playing out in your life and influencing your actions.

Yes, the stability thing. Hear this one alot. Society imposes this feeling of doom and gloom should we not have the right job and the right amount of money and so on. We all fall for this one. Yet there is truth that we need a certain amount of stability to act as a platform to work from. Noone says you have to give up anything for the pursuit of peace. It's not so much giving things up, although it does help, but it's more about accepting the limitations of those things and their effects on you and your needs.

It's not your ego fearing poverty. That's a survival need. One that can't be eliminated. But at the same time, can you quantify the need? What denotes hunger and homelessness? Moving from a $million mansion to a cheap rental apartment? Going from extravogant banquets to self-sustainance? The problem with the 'stability' thing and the worrying about loosing it all thing is that it is compared against your expectations of what you think you need. How much money, what sort of house etc The need may be genuine and permanent but what is required to satisfy that need is subjective. And we often don't give it serious enough thought. Just have a vision of what 'looks' right. What feels comfortable. What is familiar.

I'm rambling on now..

1 hour ago, shouldnt said:

So what is the root need here? Is it stability? Security? Must not be something that can be eliminated.

All I know is I'm starting to understand why Leo says his ultimate goal is to become a yogi.

Likewise I'm starting to see Leo's goal..

As for root need, not sure on that one. Lots of fears being mentioned though. Fear of uncertainty, fear of failure. But also I think it's about questioning and quantifying the need. It's like I said previously - we act on the belief of a need without truly understand what the need is asking for and what, if anything, can even satisfy it.

It can take time and a lot of introspection to really drill down to the roots of these things. I'm still doing it. However it can be hard to do when you alread have a framework of needs and sources that it holding your current 'world' together. From my own perspective, comming from a place where I have little of that framework other than a comfortable house, food on the plate and some chance to travel from time to time, it is easier to do the analysis because there aren't the comforts and 'go to' things to cloud my view.

 

[Guest]

@FindingPeace  This is a really great answer.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.

I'd like to boil down my attitude into a couple of sentences.

For me what I have learned about development, needs are everything.

I don't function or relate to people in this world without the ability to be honest with myself about my needs.  Whether my needs are authentic or not, it doesn't really matter, as long as I'm managing the "neediness" and continuing to do the work of integration, then I'm able to get on with life and do what I'm here to do.

Empathy is about filling others needs, filling needs has nothing to do with requests.  Just showing plain respect for a person is enough.  How can we be empathic if we don't believe in the reality of needs?

For me this work is not about personal peace either.

I would rather grow through suffering and experience because that's what self actualisation actually is.

In my eyes life is about engagement with my life and using what I  have to bring about a better world that will hopefully be able to one day fill humanities needs, instead of us being crushed to near oblivion under the current system that ignores, suppresses, distorts and devalues human needs to maintain the system.  How much more shit can we take? I don't know. It's pretty grim!

I don't have the answer to whether human needs are hard wired or not.  But I do have studies that prove that our attitudes so far as a race towards our own needs and the needs of our kids is having a devastating effect on our world.  What I've been hearing in some spiritual circles is also appallingly anti humanitarian. But this doesn't bother me as much because it's not an accurate interpretation of spirituality anyway, it doesn't have any leverage and won't affect anything much, it's just another way to validate the superego and feed into the sick stoic mentality we've been enduring since the year dot!

Am I interested in finding out whether we need needs or not?  I'm not sure.  So for the moment I'm happy to go with what I've learned from my own path how I've come to intuitively understand and actualise my own emotional needs and how it all correlates accurately with the research.

Thanks for the effort, it's a great debate, but just not my cup of tea.

[Leo Gura]

Ask yourselves this: How does a heroin addict release the need for heroin?

Most of your "needs" are not different from heroin. Your mind just tells you they are, and uses scientific studies -- or whatever's justification de jure -- to back it up.

[Guest]

@Leo Gura Wow, you are dumb.  Did you bother watching the video presenting the research?  

 

@FindingPeace So the physical destruction of a child's brain caused by sensory deprivation and severe neglect was caused because the baby had "conditioned beliefs"?

Fuck off please

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@Nomad Of course a poor upbringing affects one's psyche. It makes you neurotic and unable to see the illusory nature of your neurotic "needs".

A psychotic person is so screwed up that he can't distinguish reality from fantasy. It sure feels real to him. And a brain scan may verify he's psychotic. He might believe he NEEDS to wear a dildo on his head to protect himself from the soon-to-be invading Martian race. But none of this changes the fact that he's lost in a web of illusions. Did a history of abuse cause him to be this way? Sure. Likely so.

The problem here is that you're taking the legitimate physical needs of a developing biological organism and them using that to open the doors for justifying all the adult's petty egoistical "needs", which really aren't needs but confusion based on poor social conditioning.

Do note: thousands of abused people have successfully released the "need" for heroin. How did they do it? If you look at your own life, you'll find examples of where you completely released a neurotic need and don't even think about it any more. It's like a joke to you now, but back then in the past it was this giant NEED!

[FindingPeace]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Ask yourselves this: How does a heroin addict release the need for heroin?

Most of your "needs" are not different from heroin. Your mind just tells you they are, and uses scientific studies -- or whatever's justification de jure -- to back it up.

I agree with this. Many needs are thought-stories and beliefs, and a lack of understanding of the underlying motivations. Many of them are more closely related to 'fake growth' - patching over root causes like insecurities, than they are to genuine growth - getting to the root.

10 hours ago, Nomad said:

Am I interested in finding out whether we need needs or not?  I'm not sure.  So for the moment I'm happy to go with what I've learned from my own path how I've come to intuitively understand and actualise my own emotional needs and how it all correlates accurately with the research.

This is fair enough. As Leo teaches in many of his videos, personal-development is about doing empirical investigations on ourselves and creating our own evidence and doing our own research. We won't all come out with the same findings. Who has the right findings? I have no idea. To some extent it is largely irrelevant provided that we each find a path that works for us and promotes our own growth.

Which is effectively what you said here:

10 hours ago, Nomad said:

Whether my needs are authentic or not, it doesn't really matter, as long as I'm managing the "neediness" and continuing to do the work of integration, then I'm able to get on with life and do what I'm here to do.

But it is an interesting discussion.

I was thinking about this earlier and something struck me about human psychology. My previous analogy about needs being something we view as a container that we see as 'empty' led to a realisation that this sums up human behaviour. We see everything as a blank canvas or an emoty container. We feel the need to 'fill' everything. We have to create religion to fill the 'emptiness' of not knowing about creation, reality and the nature of our existance. We create technology because we can, and to not have it feels empty and lacking. We feel empty in our lives until we fill our lives with relationships, children, careers, friends and family, material objects. Life seems so empty that we fill it with music and social networking. A room with nothing in it looks 'empty' so we fill it with furniture and decorations. Life seems boring so we fill it with entertainment and stimulation. To do nothing seems dull so we fill our time with activity and pursuits. Give someone a blank sheet of paper and a pen and they will feel compelled to fill the space. And so on.

The human species seems compelled to 'fill' life. It perceives 'deficiencies' and creates 'needs' from these. Then we spend our lives trying to fill these needs.

There seems to be something in this. It seems to point to the root cause of human behaviour and the consequential suffering that we feel from the failure to keep juggling all these needs and maintain them.

Most other species of life concern themselves only with aspects of survival, otherwise living in relative peace, satisfied with the simple reality that they perceive. Whereas we can't find satisfaction in anything because there is always something that can be 'filled up' some more. We can't just 'be', we have to be neurotically looking for ways to make our lives more 'interesting' and less painful. It all seems to be a consequence of that fancy brain we have developed, our ability to conceptualise, remember and our development of language. If anything our development as a species is our very undoing and cause of our own suffering.

Most of humanity appears to be living in a half-empty glass.

Food for thought..

@Nomad

What's the deal here? First it was:

10 hours ago, Nomad said:

@FindingPeace  This is a really great answer.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.

and now it's

28 minutes ago, Nomad said:

@FindingPeace So the physical destruction of a child's brain caused by sensory deprivation and severe neglect was caused because the baby had "conditioned beliefs"?

Fuck off please

or was that meant for Leo? I don't know. But the evidence about the damage to a childs brain is a different subject. Children have important needs that required to be met so that they can form healthy mindsets and be prepared for their adult life. On the other hand, the kind of needs they have will depend on the ultimate nature of their adult environment and the skills they will need to survive in that. But that's a whole other subject.

Edited March 15, 2016 by FindingPeace

[Guest]

Stop twisting everything to fit into your model.

You're both WAY off the mark.

If there is anything "petty" about the ego it's trying to save face by trying to make up a theory.

If somebody offers you perspective have a look and see if you are lying to yourself, don't try to make a round peg fit into a square hole.

[Guest]

@FindingPeace There is nothing wrong with being respectful for your contribution.  After all, you too have a need for respect for your work.  But this doesn't mean I have to agree with your perspective.

The thing is, you have made this all up as you went along, you don't see this of course because you have a need to hold onto your beliefs, a need to save face when you are presented with information that thwarts your need to either help people out of their problems and or get approval by being a guru on these subjects.  I'm not sure which one exactly you are acting out, it may be both of them?  But that is what your behaviour is communicating.

See, if you don't know what needs are, you won't know how to express them healthily.  Which in your case isn't happening in this situation.

Get out of the house and make friends with normal healthy adults.  That in itself will confirm to you that we all have needs and how our needs evolve throughout the human lifespan.  It will also make it clear to you (without the need for digging down work or introspection) the obvious difference between the stuffing down of needs (neurosis) and the self actualising needs.

My final point before I leave this group, is, if you have the answers on how to solve the needs problem, then why are you not up there challenging the likes of the Integral Institute and NVC with your insights?

This is important information you are hoarding between you.  Something the world needs!

Surely your talents would be better served in this arena than trying to help 300 or so 15-26 year olds dissolve their "needs" and egos so they can get the hottest chicks in town?

"Food for thought"

I'll see you around boys

N

 

 

Edited March 15, 2016 by Nomad

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

The problem here is that you're taking the legitimate physical needs of a developing biological organism and them using that to open the doors for justifying all the adult's petty egoistical "needs", which really aren't needs but confusion based on poor social conditioning.

One more thing, 

I can't resist another opportunity to point out the fact you're both having arguments with yourselves.

Read my comments. 

Nowhere did I ever suggest this at all.

I said there is a difference between "neediness" and needs.  Neediness does not go away, but it can be managed so that the person can satisfy his true needs.

Which is why I was interested to see what would come from letting Finding Peace go off on his rant and has subsequently returned after a weekends reflection with whole theory based on a disagreement with ONE LINE of my comment, despite me posting an introduction to a complete psychotheraputic model and the research to back up my statements.

I don't think you both could have demonstrated "neurosis" any better.

Is this actually a self development forum? Or is it a place to get your neurotic needs to argue the toss over something you took completely out of context in the first place?

I worry about the future of these kids who indiscriminately swallow wholesale this stuff you have dreamed up in your heads.

My parting piece of advice to you - at least read the thread and digest the material before reacting to it.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

The problem here is that you're taking the legitimate physical needs of a developing biological organism 

And one final final final point to illustrate you have very little knowledge on this subject: sensory deprivation and neglect are not physiological needs. 

Attention, human contact, bonding with the mother, the formation of language - all things that form the "self" are not physical needs.

The subject in this analysis had his/her physical needs met, otherwise the child would have died.  Sleep, food, water, physical safety would have all been present.  What was missing was their psychological needs had not been met sufficiently.  

I fail to see how even a person with a bit of common sense would doubt the existence of psychological human needs and write them off as mere social constructs.

Unless they have an agenda to prove themselves right no matter the evidence and common sense principles staring them in the face.

 

[dystopia]

@Nomad Its ok, buddy. Nobody is attacking you. There's no need to lose faith in humanity lol.

You fail to see the nuance in their theories. Nobody denied the existence of very basic psychological needs (from my understanding ). They are simply saying that there are many things we perceive to be needs as adults that are not needs at all. Finding out what those are takes a lot of introspection and self-inquiry. That is what everyone should do, lest you mistake an expendable need for a non-expendable one. That was the goal of the argument in the first place, wasn't it? 

Leo could have worded that better. Lol you called Leo dumb. I don't take his word as gospel. I disagree with some stuff he says. He's only human. But he's clearly above average intelligence. 

Edited March 15, 2016 by shouldnt

[FindingPeace]

I thought this forum was a place where we can share thoughts and ideas. Not somewhere where we get abused for doing so.

It is a shame that people have to come here and mouth off in defensive and abusive ways. There is nothing healthy or productive about that nor is it conducive to personal development or helpful to anyone browsing this forum with curiosity and interest.

I am only here to share ideas, not impose them. I make no claims to be any kind of expert or that my ideas have any basis in truth or reality. I just through them out there for people to decide for themselves or to spark thoughts and questions.

I shall continue to share my ideas. Whether people find them interesting and engaging or consider them bullshit, is up to them. And likewise, I will use my own critical analysis of what I read here and anywhere else.

[Guest]

@FindingPeace "The problem with the neurotic is they fail to see the obvious"  Fritz Perls.

You have no critical analysis, you can't even analyze your own problems, as it's plain to see you have not done any of the work yourself.  That's a big issue in my eyes when you are playing role of mentor.

You can't even spot the time wasters here, you still respond with gusto to their problems when it's clear they are only interested in being spoon fed intellectual concept to make them feel better for 2.4 seconds.

I know a charlatan when I see one.

You will find the philosophical debate section if you scroll down the page.  That's where you can pontificte about whether or not human needs are social constructs

[Guest]

1 hour ago, shouldnt said:

@Nomad Its ok, buddy. Nobody is attacking you. There's no need to lose faith in humanity lol.

I think you have probably given up on your own humanity by wasting your time here.

This is Ibiza baby, the forum world equivalent of an 18-30's clubbing island holiday. This is the Eckhart Tolle fan club. This is not a real self development website. 

 

[dystopia]

On 3/14/2016 at 11:53 AM, FindingPeace said:

I lost direction and gave up control of my life, winding up with very little in terms of personal 'needs' being met. For some time this created a huge amount of cognitive dissonance and emotional problems, also depression.

I went through this reccently. Except my depression eventually resulted in alcoholism. If I hadn't found Leo's videos about being a victim, I wouldn't have been able to stop by myself. I wouldn't have believed I could.

On 3/14/2016 at 11:53 AM, FindingPeace said:

I am working on the theory that it is possible to be completely at peace with one's self and the world with very few needs at all. After all, with complete peace of mind, what action needs to be taken? There comes a point when the 'dreams' become unnecessary. But we can still pursue them if we wish to.

I believe this is true. I want to get to a point where I don't "need" much at all to feel comfortable and content. But I do need to let go of my fear of exploration which I believe is limiting me. Of course, it's a fear. 

They say that in the future, enough menial work will be automated that most people will be free to pursue things that only humans can do. I'm looking forward to that time. Society's view on status might shift from things you can acquire with money to the ability to pursue and create. It is already headed in that direction, with innovators gaining more respect.

Personally, I'm going to continue to pursue my art. Whether that be drawing, music, or some other interest. As much as I fear not making enough money, I also no longer feel a need for excess to be happy. I'm working on getting rid of worry and neurosis & getting to the root of my needs. 

It's cool that we went through similar things and seem to have similar way of thinking. Your posts have helped me so much. Thanks again 

[dystopia]

33 minutes ago, Nomad said:

 

You can't even spot the time wasters here, you still respond with gusto to their problems when it's clear they are only interested in being spoon fed intellectual concept to make them feel better for 2.4 seconds.

Oh sure "clearly" everyone on here is an idiot who needs validation. You're very judgemental. Excuse me, but I see nothing wrong with helping people out if you can. It's not up to you to decide what is helpful or insightful. People can decide that themselves. You seem to forget that this is a forum for open discussion and people can post whatever the hell they want. Moderators exist for a reason. You need to chill. 

Edited March 15, 2016 by shouldnt

[dystopia]

28 minutes ago, Nomad said:

I think you have probably given up on your own humanity by wasting your time here.

This is Ibiza baby, the forum world equivalent of an 18-30's clubbing island holiday. This is the Eckhart Tolle fan club. This is not a real self development website. 

 

I don't know what you mean. I don't feel it's a waste of time, I've gained plenty of insight. You made some good points yourself until you got super defensive.