I Traped Myself

[misko55]

So yeah I traped my self. I´m a 25 year old Croatian living in Germany and I don´t really have anybody to talk this things through , so here it goes. It´s ironic , I was always to proud to ask for help and now that I got over that ego emotion I don´t have anybody to ask it for. Anyway , since 2010 I suffered depression and all my jobs were distractions , I would run away into them to escape my shitty life.Customer service in T-mobile , cruise ship , reception , waiter , never build a career always just run away. So I started working on my self and got this opportunity to live in Germany. First time ever that I builded and I fuck up. I wanted to learn German so I took the first job offered to me , despite the fact that I saw it won't interese me.

I can´t stand the job any more , on Monday and Thusday I did nothing but cheking that the numbers on the paper were the same as in the system and then change them if needed. Oh , the boardom.Now I would just quit but here comes the trap part!

I´m in a program that lasts 3 years , it´s not just work but you go to school as well. So I want a new job and if I change from logistics to tourism and/or marketing I need to stay a year longer. Problem is I want to learn German , that´s it and after that write. I want to be a writer and even my parents are supporting me in , when I told my best friend about my situation , he said " it´s a good job... but you need something creative , right?"

And he is dead on , I want something creative and I started it , but writing , blogs , freelancer stuff. It is a job and as one it takes time. Yesterday I spend 2 hours just setting up my blog (and I´m not even happy how I did it) and doing research how to market it. It will take time and effort to make it and start earning money.

All I want is to quit and start writing , but then I won´t have any revenue for a long time and I just can´t return to my parents. I did so much work on my self here and finally I know what I want (actually always knew it , just didn´t had the balls to do it) , but don´t know how to get it yet , nor how to play this.

So any advices?

[vizual]

Follow your passion, passion always finds a way. If you can't immediately find a way to monetize your passion just keep doing your job while working on your passion in your free time. It's all how you frame it. You can bitch and moan about your current job or just see it as a temporary step up that currently pays the bills to something better.

But you should be sure the new thing is a thing you are really passionate about. If not, it will become such a grind as your current job when the shininess of change wears off. If you are already talking about 2 hours being a lot of effort you are going to have a hard time in the competitive world of internet blogs, lol.

 

[misko55]

Yeah , 2 hours are nothing for professional bloggers , for someone who works 9 hours and commute 3 hours and has school , 2 is a lot. My job makes me depressed and I´m now looking for another that is closer. Now I now that is not going to solve anything I will only change one shitty job for another.

It´s like I finally have the balls to be true to myself and pursue what I want and I don´t have time to properly set it up or write. Blogging is something that I will have to invest couple of months before I see first cent from that so I can´t just leave my job and by staying at my job I´m prolonging that first cent for couple of years and that makes me frustrated.

Well I guess this topic doesn´t have much sense , since no one can stop the time for me or just tell me all about blogging. I guess it was just venting , but thanks for reading and replying @vizual

[reez]

@misko55

Is there any chance you can work on the blog while commuting?

 

[misko55]

@reez

yes and no. I was very frustrated with commuting and now I have a small notebook and pen always by my side. But my commuting is a bit tricky , first I have 10 minute walk , then 10 min bus ride ,5-8 min waiting for tram , 10 min riding it , then 5-10 min waiting for train , 4 min rid and then 40 min walk.

I do see where you are going here , using every minute but writing while waking is a bit tricky and here in East Germany is still coldish , still wearing glows. But I´m about to switch my job and go for a closer one and will just use my free time to educate my self about bloggs, marketing and practice writing in that time. Well anyways it´s not about the destination , it´s about journey , right

[reez]

@misko55

Ah okay then it's quite hard to do

I thought you had like 10 minute walk - 40 min train or something like that

 

Well I wish you luck no matter what you do

[StarGazor]

Use your phone to record your voice when you have good ideas. If you're doing so many hop on hop off to work then either change work or move closer to work. I'm sure you don't own a house since you just moved there, so if you're renting, then go rent closer. If your commute is split between work and school, then work hard to save for a cheap car. It all starts with small consistent effort. Where you are now, is not where you will end up. 

[Draconis Chaser]

@misko55 Zdravo komsija!

Hang in there! 

This is a long shot, I know, but... There is something useful in every job. Yours cannot be an exeption. That means, you can't think of it as a waste of time. You are comuting for a long time, pop in headphones, listen to some german lessons and practice on your way to work.

You no doubt meet a few people in a place you work, right? Maybe they are cool people to talk to? 

And as far as numbers are conserned, you, my friend, are going to have ridiculous skill at spotting details others could easily miss. And that is so valuable! It also serves as a focus and concentration exercise, and if you are interested in speed reading, there is a similar exercise to widen your optical field. You also have to practice patience and keeping your cool for a long time. (Not a bad skill to have)

Could you share your blog? Maybe you could write a bit about what your mind is up to right now? And you have so much experience: Customer service, cruise ship, reception, waiter! That is a lot of stories! And I suspect an inspiration for your writting.  

Every hero needs a hero's journey if his story is to be interesting!   

     

[misko55]

@Draconis Chaser , zdravo brate  ... ili sestro??

Well , I´ve been doing it for 8 months and every day is the same , so yeah , it is a waste of time. Last week I said about 6-7 words to my colleagues they are Germans ,they are + not like us Balkanians  , real cold people.

Well I decided I´m gona do it and then figured out I don´t know anything about blogging. Right now I write stuff every day and educate my self about blogging and working at my job , now it´s easier , I think about it as buying time. So there is no blog , but if you want , send me PM and I can send you something of mine to read andany and all criticisms are welocome.

 

 

[HypSandar]

If you don't like the job, don't do it. Its a waste of the time you could be putting in your actual passion. But first, you need to find your passion, Leo made a video on that.

[Wind]

Get a job where you could work on your communication, writing and/or marketing skills. Synchronize.

[Amplituda]

@misko55 You're not stuck my friend. You have a goal and now it's about finding a way to achieve it. Stay positive and you will do fine. Take care of nessesities and persue your dream and you will see it will work just fine for you...give it some time though...

[misko55]

@Wind , yup that is exactly what I´m aiming for

@Amplituda thank you for the kind words and a pep talk