Why do I take it so personally?

[zoey101]

So I'm back to work finally, and I come in to some pretty apparent drama that I missed last week. I still have no clue what happened, but basically one of my coworkers came into work and then just left out of nowhere.

Now, I sit right in the lobby, and we have these security doors that only I can open from my desk to let people in. The head of our HR told me to not let her back into the building and to inform our head Administrator, right away, if she came back. So some time passed and I hadn't seen her so I figured it was over with, but she showed up out of the blue. I couldn't see that it was actually her at the door and so my reflexes took over and I opened the door. I called the Administrator and HR Head immediately and they took care of it.

OKAY! So my issue:

I can't stop feeling bad about it all... Nothing happened and the HR Head said it was okay and an easy mistake. So why do I still keep thinking about it?!? It was a little mistake that amounted to basically no consequences, but I found myself emailing both the HR Head and Administrator  apologizing for the whole incident and they said it was okay. So why does it still feel like a big deal?!? 

I know it's sill and dumb to hold onto, but I'd have to say this is my biggest issue when fighting my "ego" 

GRRRRRR!!!! 

[cirkussmile]

You don't have to do anything. You are filled with emotion and that's OK! 

Just because you feel emotion doesn't mean you have to act on them. 

Meditation will help you with this. Meditation is practicing something else than intelectual knowledge and thought loops. 

[zoey101]

@cirkussmile thank you.  I know this is so silly. But I can't help but let my mind just run like crazy wondering 'Oh no! did I mess up really bad?' or 'what if they ARE mad and just haven't told me yet?' It's completely neurotic. 

What I hate the most is that I'm very aware of it, but it still happens. 

[Charlotte]

@zoey101 So simple lovely...

 

[zoey101]

8 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@zoey101 So simple lovely...

 

Lol that's me problem. I know it's nothing but I can't seem to lose the panic feeling even when I tell myself over and over to just let it go.

 

It isn't bothering me today. I guess I just needed to let off some steam and sleep it off  (lol that makes me sound like a cat ^_^)

[Paulus Amadeus]

let go of trying to let it go

[zoey101]

Just now, Paulus Amadeus said:

let go of trying to let it go

hmmm. Never thought of that  just don't think about it, you mean?

[Paulus Amadeus]

@zoey101 Well if you are freaking out about that you can't let go then you should let go of your desire to let go. Just be fine with the total chaos that is your thoughts and emotions. Not as a technique to get rid of them! Just because you are okay with this chaos being there. Then you give up resistance to what is and your life will be much smoother. 

[Nahm]

@zoey101 uh....you have a lot going on sister. Let the emotions proccesss. Take it easy on yourself - YOU’RE DOING AWESOME. You can’t focus on breathing from your stomach, and think at the same time. Very useful for overthinking like you’re describing. Eventually becomes the default. The peace is already here Zoey, right where you are, breath it in, give it your troubles, let them float away like blowing bubbles, when you were a kid. 

And just pragmatically speaking, 10 years from now, you think you’ll even remember this ‘door’ incident? It’s nothing. ❤️

[zoey101]

Thank you. @Nahm yeah it just doesn't stop here on planet ego lol 

I'll keep all of these things in mind though. Again, I know it was silly, but I get this way about a lot of things even though I know. I'll keep working

[Nahm]

@zoey101 Do yourself the favor of saying you don’t know. If you knew, it wouldn’t be on your mind. That way, you’re “reopening” the mind to “know” it. 

[Guest Quanty]

Someone sent you guilt thoughts, energetically speaking. 

CEO's, Managers, Superiors in a filed of work, tend to do this. They learn it in business, to control staff. 

[zoey101]

@Nahm ok. I'll try it.

@Quanty I've been this way for my whole life. I don't like being the reason others get hurt or upset.. no matter what it was.

[The Don]

Hello.

The only solution to this is to be AWARE when you have these thoughts of guilt.

Thoughts create emotions.

If you can develop a stronger sense of awareness, you will realize that guilt is not that big of a deal. Your sense of guilt will dissipate itself by shining awareness on it.

It will take time but that's fine.

Good luck.

Edited May 16, 2018 by The Don
I was correcting a word.