How Are You Increasing Your Social Circles?

[sjonesartist]

I've watched a few of Leo's videos today, so I'm not quite sure which video was talking about this...

but what the gist was , was about a dysfuctional relationship, and feeling like you couldn't find someone

else/better.   Leo discussed the fact that you/we need to get ourselves around more people, to increase our

social circles, so we aren't feeling lonely, or like there isn't someone better out there.

 

So what is everyone doing to get themselves out there?  I looked on the site meetup.com to try to find social groups with
similar interests in my area.    Also trying to be more outgoing with coworkers and other parents at the playground etc.  This

is difficult for me as I deal with social phobia issues, but finding the more I force myself, the easier it gets.  Also (I'm a musician)

I'm trying to get out more to the local cafe's or coffee houses for open mic, and perform, and/or watch others play their

music.

Now that am focusing on this, I'm improving myself, meeting people, and getting my mind off

the past dysfunctional relationship.

[DJ]

I'm going through the same thing. The problem for me isnt meeting people, its finding quality, like minded positive people that I would want to spend time with. Even within the personal development or spiritual communities it is difficult. For example, I went to a meetup group that was called spirituality for men and the topic came to people meditating on a mountain and communicating with aliens. Then they said they looked in the sky and saw what they considered spaceships. I'm not one to judge, but thats just not for me.

I'm fairly new to all this so I keep and open mind and still attend various meetup groups. Also, local schools have adult continuing education classes, yoga. As you mentioned, other parents and music are good ways to bond with people.

I get out and "socialize" with people but havent really "connected" with anyone in a long time. Ive kind of accepted that that will be the norm unless proven otherwise, but thats just me and everyone is different. 

[Anicko]

The absolute key is the inner work. You have to lose all judgments about yourself and how you think others perceive you, and then you have to stop judging everyone else. 

When you get to a certain point, you start to realize what "not caring" about other people's thoughts really means. It will surprise you. Words can not accurately describe it, it must be experienced to be understood. 

It opens up a whole different world with people, and you will realize that you can love absolutely anybody that you ever meet. You will feel real love for all the people you never meet. It's not what you expect!! 

I wish I could explain just how good it feels. You can't change your outer and leave your inner broken. The patterns will just keep repeating eventually. 

Edited March 10, 2016 by Anicko

[sjonesartist]

5 hours ago, DJ said:

I'm going through the same thing. The problem for me isnt meeting people, its finding quality, like minded positive people that I would want to spend time with. Even within the personal development or spiritual communities it is difficult. For example, I went to a meetup group that was called spirituality for men and the topic came to people meditating on a mountain and communicating with aliens. Then they said they looked in the sky and saw what they considered spaceships. I'm not one to judge, but thats just not for me.

I'm fairly new to all this so I keep and open mind and still attend various meetup groups. Also, local schools have adult continuing education classes, yoga. As you mentioned, other parents and music are good ways to bond with people.

I get out and "socialize" with people but havent really "connected" with anyone in a long time. Ive kind of accepted that that will be the norm unless proven otherwise, but thats just me and everyone is different. 

DJ! what the heck!  fancy meeting you here!!  its stephanie

[dystopia]

I'm not lol. I've isolated myself now more than ever. I think that once I have been working on my passion long enough & solving my self-love issues it's going to be a lot easier. I just tried going on a date recently, knowing I wasn't ready, and it was disastrous. 

[DJ]

5 hours ago, sjonesartist said:

DJ! what the heck!  fancy meeting you here!!  its stephanie

Hey Steph! I knew that was you. I mentioned that in the "how old are you" thread. If you ever need someone to talk to, get a hold of me on FB messenger.

[Arthur M]

Like mentioned above, inner work. Hitting up things like self confidence, leadership skills, relationship skills or even being funny will help you build that social circle and if you are doing it right, it will filter out weed as well (by that I mean toxic people slowing your progress). In the past 2 years I've lost some old "friends" just because I changed...Either it is that we don't have anything in common anymore or my current attitude annoys them. I've reached a point where the incessant opinions of other about how cocky or rude i've become just amuse me. Apparently telling what's on your mind and making your own judgments on how you want to live your life make you a bad person...hah! Best part is that's just half of the story. The other half consists of all the numerous new faces who share my views i've met without effort.

[David]

When I was young a young woman gave me a piece of advice that has stuck with me all my life. She said "do what you love and you will find the right people along the way". Whenever I do the things I'm passionate about, for me it's things like going to the gym, biking, health and nutrition workshops etc, people are just magnetized to me. Not that it is effortless, I still have to reciprocate but, it changes in the way it feels from something like work to something fun and exciting.