RSD Nations - How to evolve?

[brugluiz]

Since I watched Leo's rant about pick up, I became more aware of my selfishness and I'm taking care about things I learn and watch. I used to watch RSD Nation's stuff and some of their teaching makes sense but there are some nuances that I don't approve. The thing is: RSD Nation teaches how to evolve your life in general, but they leave a little piece of selfishness in their material. I get confused because I don't know if I should connect with my dark side, be "selfish" and go out to bang girls. Going out would help with a lot of things. Since it teaches how to be social, I would grow in career, girls, financially, friends, meditation, etc, but it's still selfish. I thought I was clear about my life purpose, but I'm not. Wondering here if these kind of experiences that PUA community can offer me will help me find my purpose or it will just make me blind about my selfishness.

[Hello from Russia]

I've got the same dilemma. I follow a lot of RSD. Got a girlfriend recently and got a ton of new insights for myself on how I want to interact and to be with women. Got kinda disappointed by just hollow sexual experience .  I lean more towards stuff that Leo teaches about women. To be more authentic and build quality connection and honest relationship with them, to make them happy and create good experience for both.
However, RSD stuff is superuseful too for learning how to spark women's emotions, how to approach to them in the first place, how to flirt with them properly, how to use polarity and how to be a leading man in woman-man interaction in general, and a lot of other things. Imo, just learn what you need from them and try to know what you want out of life and what kind of man you want to be (I'm exploring that aswell now). Then, you can filter some of their philosophy when they go too nuts on what isn't in alignment with you. That's what I think.

I'm very interested to also hear what other guys who watch RSD and other content like this think. 

Edited May 12, 2018 by Hello from Russia

[aurum]

@brugluiz

Have you ever considered that you should be selfish?

You're probably a really nice guy. You actually would be a great catch for a girl and could really add value to her life. But how does you not knowing how to attract her and just sitting at home help anybody?

Here's what's really going on.

You're looking at RSD and seeing that it makes sense. You're seeing that you could actually have success in this area. But because it would require change, your mind is resisting it. It's throwing on the brakes.

Ask yourself this: does it piss you off that some douchebag club promoter out there is fucking all the girls you want? Because it should. He's not going to bring them up, he's just going to give them some drugs, fuck them and then leave them. And he will have no moral crisis about it.

Why are you the only person who doesn't seem to deserve a girl? Why are you the only one who seems to get screwed?

[Kimasxi]

You should accept your "dark side" because IT IS YOU. 
If you don't embrace that part of you, you are going to create a rift in your consciousness, and that "dark side" part will find an outlet subconsciously anyway. It may even sabotage you. And actually, it is not a "bad" part. Actually people should learn to be selfish because they are usually conditioned not to be authentic, not to put themselves in the first place, to have no boundries, to be people-pleasing and so on. People should do something to counteract that mainstream propaganda. When you´re learning to be assholish you become more and more assertive and this is attractive to women, it also teaches young women not to treat you like shit to trample at a whim. 
And then you can actually be a kind of self-aware good asshole who will give fun-seeking women what they want and not hurt them with some shitty treatment, while you are learning your pua skills. Isn't that cool?

[Erlend K]

I agree with @Kimasxi and @aurum. Don't fall into the trap of being a moral perfectionist. Don't stumble uncounciously into martyrdom. It's okey to  be a bit selfish sometimes.

Our minds are ecosystems of competing sub-minds. Self-acceptance is about accepting the totality of this eco system, not just the noblest parts. Sometimes we have strong undeniable yearnings that we are not proud of. Whether we like it or not, those are part of us. Rejecting parts of ourselves is the essence of neurosis. Anyone frequenting Actualized.org  probably agree that we should give higher priority to our more noble aspirations, but it’s okay to throw a bone to some of your not-so-noble sides as well. It's all about balance.

[brugluiz]

7 hours ago, aurum said:

@brugluiz

Have you ever considered that you should be selfish?

You're probably a really nice guy. You actually would be a great catch for a girl and could really add value to her life. But how does you not knowing how to attract her and just sitting at home help anybody?

Here's what's really going on.

You're looking at RSD and seeing that it makes sense. You're seeing that you could actually have success in this area. But because it would require change, your mind is resisting it. It's throwing on the brakes.

Ask yourself this: does it piss you off that some douchebag club promoter out there is fucking all the girls you want? Because it should. He's not going to bring them up, he's just going to give them some drugs, fuck them and then leave them. And he will have no moral crisis about it.

Why are you the only person who doesn't seem to deserve a girl? Why are you the only one who seems to get screwed?

I understand this part of having the girl I deserve. I already applied some RSD concepts and I had success. I know those principles work.

Leo's rant opened a door for me to understand that maybe I shouldn't be so selfish (I thought just about sex and was not so selective with girls). It made me want to understand some other aspects of life like actualization. I was approaching a lot of girls in the beginning of this year and, despite of my emotional flatness (I take antipsychotics, which I'm withdrawing, that make me pretty emotionally flat), I was more social and courageous.

I think my resistance comes from the aspect if I'm doing the right thing. If pick up is not all that bad thing (all about selfishness and ego) like Leo exposes in his video, maybe I have a calling for it.

[Lynnel]

@brugluiz

Look basically game at a very advanced level is about WHO you become internally.

Game is not about banging girls. That's gonna sound extermely counter-intuitive but by now if you're at least intermediate you should have noticed that you get the best results if any at all when you feel amazing/self-confident/like you're the shit and you do not need anything external to feel better => you can then offer value and when you meet a girl it's a build-up where it only goes upwards but you don't truly need it.

You're doing game for yourself/becoming better because it requires you (otherwise you wouldn't get any results) to fix the holes in your confidence, your weak points, your reactions, groundness, etc, all your inside garbage such as neediness that you girl will not like you for.

And of course there is nothing selfish at being amazing and providing a great experience for other people and the girl you're dating.

Also, of course, your own survival IS selfish, thus it's a kinda pointless statement. Yeah ego IS indeed egoic. Sherlock

[aurum]

12 hours ago, brugluiz said:

If pick up is not all that bad thing (all about selfishness and ego) like Leo exposes in his video, maybe I have a calling for it.

It can be done in a way that's Win/Win and leads to personal / spiritual growth.

Really what it comes down to is what is your intention?

Think of pickup as a tool, like a hammer. You can hit yourself in the head with it or you can use it to build something amazing. That's up to you.

But this idea that pickup is inherently bad and selfish is totally misguided.

[Frylock]

Forget about Leo's rant. I'm sure it was aimed at very specific behaviors that certain men exhibit.

Pickup isn't an option: it is a necessary survival skill for men in modern societies. Embrace both the dark aspects of your soul just like you do the light. This will lead to ultimate self acceptance.

[YaNanNallari]

Arrogance, a certain kind of it, not as in the aggression type or dealing with problems, but more like overly critical, skeptical or overlookingly arrogant, is what feels off about them.

[billiesimon]

On 14/5/2018 at 5:56 AM, aurum said:

It can be done in a way that's Win/Win and leads to personal / spiritual growth.

Really what it comes down to is what is your intention?

Think of pickup as a tool, like a hammer. You can hit yourself in the head with it or you can use it to build something amazing. That's up to you.

But this idea that pickup is inherently bad and selfish is totally misguided.

I completely agree with you. I'm new to the game and I'm benefiting from losing my nice guy syndrome, and connecting with my core. 

But what do you think about Leo's rant on the PUA community?

[Spiral]

@billiesimon  Do you know what is the cause for the nice guy syndrome? (Actual question, I really don’t know). I just find it fascinating.

[Morten]

@Spiral  From my experience, aproval seeking and need for acceptance

Check "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover for more information, really eye opening book.

[Spiral]

11 minutes ago, Morten said:

@Spiral  From my experience, aproval seeking and need for acceptance

Check "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover for more information, really eye opening book.

I can imagine it's advice they received as children: "treat others nicely to be liked" combined with desperation in the form you described. 

[billiesimon]

3 hours ago, Spiral said:

@billiesimon  Do you know what is the cause for the nice guy syndrome? (Actual question, I really don’t know). I just find it fascinating.

It's social conditioning.

We are generations raised by women, and women value security and conformity a lot. Thus they educated us and our fathers to be losers who conform to social norms.

The nice guy is the default man of today and it's a byproduct of mothers and female education. Breaking free of it is a powerful form of emancipation from women, and this is why it's attractive.

Women are also scared of male freedom because their instinct is to trap you. Don't let them.

Also watch fight club, Tyler talks about it.

[aurum]

On 5/23/2018 at 6:11 AM, billiesimon said:

I completely agree with you. I'm new to the game and I'm benefiting from losing my nice guy syndrome, and connecting with my core. 

But what do you think about Leo's rant on the PUA community?

It's been a while since I've seen it, but from what I remember that video is really misguided.

The problem with making a black and white critique of the PUA community is that there is no definitive way to do pickup. Every guy gets in it for their own reasons and leaves with different results.

I've seen tons of guys come through PUA at this point. It's true that the majority are not really using it as a tool to grow. They just learn a bit theory, go out, and get wasted at the local dive bar.

I was the same way. I was a 21 year old college student who just wanted to get laid when I found the community. I didn't give a shit about "self-actualization" or "spiritual growth".

So does that mean there's a problem with PUA? Or is the tool being misused by people who don't really have an intention to grow in the first place?

Anyone who argues that you can't grow spiritual doing pickup is wrong. But you have use it the right way.

The other argument I remember from that video is that pickup = manipulation. This is such a limiting belief for guys who are trying to learn this stuff.

Any guy who thinks they can manipulate women against their will into sleeping with them using pickup, come visit me in Miami and we'll go out together. It never works that way.

How do I know? Because I know all the lines, all the strategies, all the tactics. They're useful, but not nearly as important as most guys think.

When I'm doing game, I'm constantly asking myself WHAT DOES SHE WANT. Because if what she wants and what I want don't align, you're fucked. It's not going to work.

Oh, and sometimes what the girl wants is something we would judge as "low consciousness", like alcohol or status. Guess what, it's not your job to be Captain Save A Ho and save the poor little princess. She's human being that's allowed to live her life the way she wants, even if we might judge it as a "mistake".

I could keep ranting but I think you get the point. There's so many misconceptions about PUA it's crazy. And it holds guys back tremendously.

[Widdle Puppy]

On 5/13/2018 at 0:51 AM, Hello from Russia said:

I've got the same dilemma. I follow a lot of RSD. Got a girlfriend recently and got a ton of new insights for myself on how I want to interact and to be with women. Got kinda disappointed by just hollow sexual experience .  I lean more towards stuff that Leo teaches about women. To be more authentic and build quality connection and honest relationship with them, to make them happy and create good experience for both.
However, RSD stuff is superuseful too for learning how to spark women's emotions, how to approach to them in the first place, how to flirt with them properly, how to use polarity and how to be a leading man in woman-man interaction in general, and a lot of other things. Imo, just learn what you need from them and try to know what you want out of life and what kind of man you want to be (I'm exploring that aswell now). Then, you can filter some of their philosophy when they go too nuts on what isn't in alignment with you. That's what I think.

I'm very interested to also hear what other guys who watch RSD and other content like this think. 

I think this is a pretty good post and similar to my thoughts on it. I've started watching RSD stuff and not everything I necessarily agree with regarding their approach or their model but still there is useful information and I am always trying to push myself out of my own information bubble and at least take on another perspective. I would say RSD stuff is great for social skills and kinda having a model to follow and channel your positive energy through since interacting with women after all can be a skill in and of itself. There is much better material for "inner game" or "self work" though but I'm fine with watching some RSD vids, keeping and open mind, picking the parts I find helpful and letting go of the rest. You don't have to agree 100% with every teacher. I would say probably the best information intake you can have is a wide range of teachers where you agree with some more than others. Self work shouldn't be treated like a dogma. Keep an open mind and integrate the parts which align with your values. 

[Spiral]

While I never really considered myself a PUA, I merely watched theory and tried my luck online. It was my way into PD, this seems to be a common occurrence. 

Pick up has a lot of redeeming qualities that don’t involve sex or relationships. Especially if you, like me were a introverted gamer completely devoid of social skills.

Social skills of course, but also among other things learning to enjoy the company of others and being away from the comfort of a screen.

Learning to and start to appreciate taking care of yourself, physically and healthwise.

If you have success you start to have faith in the growth process and try to improve your life in completely different areas. Not to mention confidence.

But things come to an end, and so should the pickup life style. One should move on to bigger better things. A lot of people get trapped and this is where you find the problems with pick up culture.

[Solace]

When all humans love and awaken their heart they will become vessels for their higher self to fully embody. From that embodiment a "soulmate" is manifested in the form of a partner, a pet, and/or a community; that is the next evolution of RSD in the 5th dimension. To play pickup on your own emotions and thoughts as if they are a really beautiful girl.

[Paulus Amadeus]

15 hours ago, aurum said:

It's been a while since I've seen it, but from what I remember that video is really misguided.

The problem with making a black and white critique of the PUA community is that there is no definitive way to do pickup. Every guy gets in it for their own reasons and leaves with different results.

I've seen tons of guys come through PUA at this point. It's true that the majority are not really using it as a tool to grow. They just learn a bit theory, go out, and get wasted at the local dive bar.

I was the same way. I was a 21 year old college student who just wanted to get laid when I found the community. I didn't give a shit about "self-actualization" or "spiritual growth".

So does that mean there's a problem with PUA? Or is the tool being misused by people who don't really have an intention to grow in the first place?

Anyone who argues that you can't grow spiritual doing pickup is wrong. But you have use it the right way.

The other argument I remember from that video is that pickup = manipulation. This is such a limiting belief for guys who are trying to learn this stuff.

Any guy who thinks they can manipulate women against their will into sleeping with them using pickup, come visit me in Miami and we'll go out together. It never works that way.

How do I know? Because I know all the lines, all the strategies, all the tactics. They're useful, but not nearly as important as most guys think.

When I'm doing game, I'm constantly asking myself WHAT DOES SHE WANT. Because if what she wants and what I want don't align, you're fucked. It's not going to work.

Oh, and sometimes what the girl wants is something we would judge as "low consciousness", like alcohol or status. Guess what, it's not your job to be Captain Save A Ho and save the poor little princess. She's human being that's allowed to live her life the way she wants, even if we might judge it as a "mistake".

I could keep ranting but I think you get the point. There's so many misconceptions about PUA it's crazy. And it holds guys back tremendously.

Yeah really good response! Pick up can definitely be used as a tool of massive growth. Just got to try to not become a creap and keep your ego in check. But when you do these things it's a beautifull thing.