Posted February 7, 2016 Hey! 4 years ago I decided to commit my life to a girl and stopped having relationships with any other girls that came into my life. I have been searching for my soulmate and trying to find a perfect girl for myself since long time. Do you think you and your love of your life will meet one day? Because I don't even try to meet new girls. I just wait somebody to find me, desperately. (I am 25, btw) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 I kinda feel the same way cuz long time ago girl left me and i rly trusted her and now when i see other girls around i just can't see that i can be in quality relationship with them, but also i meet one girl last month but she lives in other counry and i am not in contact with her but she is the one who mekes me feel better person, and now i don't know in whitch direction to go, to believe that life will put us back together or i should forse myself to find someone and stop hoping for some miracle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 There is no such things as "one girl." There a lot of "one girl's" out there that would mesh well with your personality and core values. You have to put yourself in the position to find said girls though. Leaving it to "chance" and thinking they will magically appear will not happen. Need only look at the people who think they found their "one" and the current divorce rate. Close to 60%. That isn't counting people who stay in those relationships even though they are miserable. Put yourself around women you find attractive. Say "Hello." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 @Josip I totally understand you. There is always an uncertain situation. I don't know which direction to go either. @Jecht Spencer You're absolutely right, they will never magically appear. I guess why I am reluctant for creating opportunities for myself is I don't want to mess it up again. I am not bold enough when it comes to women. Not good looking as you do either. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 Just now, Sarper said: @Jecht Spencer You're absolutely right, they will never magically appear. I guess why I am reluctant for creating opportunities for myself is I don't want to mess it up again. I am not bold enough when it comes to women. Not good looking as you do either. Mess what up? Life is about making as many mistakes as possible. The dying's most quotable: "I never regret the things I did... I regret the things I didn't have the courage to do." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 8 minutes ago, Jecht Spencer said: Mess what up? Life is about making as many mistakes as possible. The dying's most quotable: "I never regret the things I did... I regret the things I didn't have the courage to do." I am gonna stop thinking and give it a try. I cannot lose anything that I already don't have. Thank you a lot!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 i have no problem being around women but when it comes to something closer there is always that voice in my head whitch is sying that what i am doing is wrong cuz of other girl or cuz i see that nothing special aint gonna happend if i just find girl for sexual satisfaction Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) 3 hours ago, Sarper said: Hey! 4 years ago I decided to commit my life to a girl and stopped having relationships with any other girls that came into my life. I have been searching for my soulmate and trying to find a perfect girl for myself since long time. Do you think you and your love of your life will meet one day? Because I don't even try to meet new girls. I just wait somebody to find me, desperately. (I am 25, btw) To state it simply, She doesn't exist. Just like your dream life, house and family doesn't exist... Fortunately, God gave us the ability to be creators as well as adapt and change things. Thus you must constantly co-create with your potential mate to design the qualities of a perfect mate in yourself and her. The catch-22 is that there are many qualities in yourself that inhibit your ability to make things happen, so if you don't take care of those... you are going to have problems. Edited February 7, 2016 by d1ajax What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 37 minutes ago, d1ajax said: To state it simply, She doesn't exist. Just like your dream life, house and family doesn't exist... Fortunately, God gave us the ability to be creators as well as adapt and change things. Thus you must constantly co-create with your potential mate to design the qualities of a perfect mate in yourself and her. The catch-22 is that there are many qualities in yourself that inhibit your ability to make things happen, so if you don't take care of those... you are going to have problems. Your comment is realistic and ultimately true. I can go out find someone, create my own opportunities and I will eventually have what I am going to have. Or not? I can make things happen or at least I can try to make them happen. However, the result depends on the other people. And I must say I am not a very lucky person, not quite a bit indeed. That's why I am reluctant, but, what you say is the reality and I must start creating my opportunities. Thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 Hi Sarper, Great conversation going on here with really great comments. Simply put: YOU DESERVE TO ACCEPT LOVE FOR YOURSELF AND SHARE YOUR LOVE WITH OTHERS. Now believe that yourself and look inwardly to love yourself. We all make mistakes - all the time. That is what is amazing about life in that mistakes give us the opportunity to grow and learn. If we are perfect all the time, then there is no where else for us to grow - and life would be meaningless at that point. Go look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself - do it everyday and suddenly you will believe it and you will begin to make choices to create opportunities to share your love with others. As everyone said, there is no "the one." You decide when you are ready to give your love to others. Good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 I would also add to Sara’s point not to expect perfection in others either - perfection is a concept with no grounding in reality whatsoever. Agree with Jecht that it’s up to you to introduce love to your life. Also, I think Leo would recommend maintaining relationship abundance on an ongoing basis so your options are always open if things don’t work out with a partner. You'll find what you're looking for, I'm sure of it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 I forgot to mention! Sarper and Stretch, if you care to know more or want to read more, check out the book The Art of Loving. The book just explains the practice of learning to love yourself, all man kind, and your significant other. It definitely has helped me in understanding love better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 Thanks Sara, sounds good. I've put it on my reading list! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 17 minutes ago, Sara said: I forgot to mention! Sarper and Stretch, if you care to know more or want to read more, check out the book The Art of Loving. The book just explains the practice of learning to love yourself, all man kind, and your significant other. It definitely has helped me in understanding love better. Thanks, It's 2 weeks holiday and I was looking for something to read. Thank you @Sara Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 3 minutes ago, Sarper said: Thanks, It's 2 weeks holiday and I was looking for something to read. Thank you @Sara No problem Sarper. However, please note the book is not about HOW to love but what love is. Initially the book was disappointing to me because it did not provide me with ways to practice love - until I started realizing how much it had affected my understanding of love in subconscious ways and that made all the difference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 1 hour ago, Sarper said: However, the result depends on the other people. And I must say I am not a very lucky person, not quite a bit indeed. There is an art form of leading and influencing people. A lot of it has to do with providing for and being aware of the needs of your partner and suspending your expectations of them. This alone is an extremely difficult task to do. The better leader you become, the luckier you will be. What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 Just now, d1ajax said: There is an art form of leading and influencing people. A lot of it has to do with providing for and being aware of the needs of your partner and suspending your expectations of them. This alone is an extremely difficult task to do. The better leader you become, the luckier you will be. That's a wonderful comment. I should stop being passive and be active instead. Amazing! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 7, 2016 It's honorable, that you are saving yourself for that one special girl, and even if you find her and get attracted- what are the odds, that she'll do the same? =) Very little. Reel and rod metod is not very effective, you better go out and get experience with other girls, find your preferences, gain social skills that might help attract "that one" and just enjoy yourself. Searching for perfect soulmate gives me the hint, that you are too serious about relationship - healthy reminder- it won't fullfill you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2016 16 hours ago, Sarper said: Hey! 4 years ago I decided to commit my life to a girl and stopped having relationships with any other girls that came into my life. ...Because I don't even try to meet new girls. I just wait somebody to find me, desperately. This is a disaster in the making. Stop being lazy and pathetic and go meet new girls! It will only get harder as you age. You dream girl will only happen as the result of taking massive action. Statistically, you'll have to burn through a dozen girls before you find her. You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted February 8, 2016 @Leo Gura "You dream girl will only happen as the result of taking massive action." You're absolutely right. I will stop rejecting girl who try to get to know me and I will approach to girls that I like. Because If it would work for me I would already find my dream girl in 4 years. Thanks a lot!! And Thank you for the forum! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
