How To Quit Destructive Habits?

[Rilles]

Whenever I go out I always tend to end up in a circle of friends where theres alot of alcohol involved, but lately its escalated into going to after parties where theres alot of coke involved. Ive done it now maybe 5 times and everytime I say I wont do it again but I can literally feel a disconnect between my heart and my mind when I promise myself, its like I dont believe I wont fall for the peer pressure again. Coke is so destructive and Im literally afraid I might just get a stroke and die at one of my friends places some night. How can I quit these bad habits for good, do I have to disconnect completely from this crowd? The problem is they are super kind people and we share alot of interests in music especially. Please share any advice! And be harsh on me, my lifes on the line... 

[pluto]

Replace them with creative habits Find your Excitement and BLoom!

[Nahm]

@Rilles .....Ok.  This isn’t a social question, nor a ‘how do I’ _________ about friends.  

You’re a coke addict, and it’s about to ruin your entire life. Wake up. That is not what you really are. 

 You could realize what you are, and all of reality.  You could have everything you ever wanted in this life, and be anything you’ve ever wanted to be.

Instead, you’re choosing a low conscious group, and doing cocaine with them. You have stepped right onto the slippery slope. Now, unfuck yourself. 

 

[Rilles]

Thank you Nahm! Thats what I needed! A slippery slope to hell indeed

[Veggies]

3 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Thank you Nahm! Thats what I needed! A slippery slope to hell indeed

Stop the damn coke now.

[Elton]

@Rilles you need to stop lying and telling the truth.

When you are drinking coke you have already made the choice to drink it... But the fact that you struggle means that you lie to yourself saying that the one part of your being which wins over the part that wants to quit. Like there are two people involved. 

 

Its a lie. 

Practice meditation to cath your self lying and rationalising your behaviour. You may discover your true self. 

[Rilles]

@EltonThanks! I do meditate everyday, guess this is just a test of maturity and growth that I need to pass. 

[Nahm]

@Rilles Careful, we trick ourselves pretty easily. Keep love present!  Great avatar pic btw. 

[Rilles]

Yes, love and compassion is the compass!  Haha thanks

[aurum]

14 hours ago, Elton said:

When you are drinking coke

20 hours ago, Rilles said:

Ive done it now maybe 5 times and everytime I say I wont do it again but I can literally feel a disconnect between my heart and my mind when I promise myself, its like I dont believe I wont fall for the peer pressure again

Look, I did some coke too in college, it's not the end of the world. But you definitely don't want to keep doing if you're serious about self-actualization. It's a really low-vibration activity.

The reason you don't feel like you have control of it is because you kind of don't. These decisions are all made by the subconscious mind, you're basically just along for the ride.

20 hours ago, Rilles said:

How can I quit these bad habits for good, do I have to disconnect completely from this crowd?

At this point, probably yes. Environment is the quickest way to change any habit. It's just too easy to slip up otherwise.

[Rilles]

14 minutes ago, aurum said:

The reason you don't feel like you have control of it is because you kind of don't. These decisions are all made by the subconscious mind, you're basically just along for the ride.

@aurum

But its scary to admit that I have no control... I think that why its best to stay a 1000 miles away from it so to speak.

I might move to Uni in another city in the autumn, I think that would help. Thanks for your reply

[Charlotte]

29 minutes ago, aurum said:

14 hours ago, Elton said:

When you are drinking coke

?? I laughed to. 

@Rilles  I'm going to be honest here, years ago (around 3) I got with a bf and he introduced me to cocaine. It turned into a habit every weekend. It became addictive, literally. The morning after doing it I felt a horrible gut feeling of "this isn't me, this isn't right" but I continued to do so even with that feeling. It was telling me something and I was ignoring it to get my fix at the weekend. I understand how hard it can be to get unstuck once you've gone so far down that path BUT if you continue to go down the 'coke path' let's call it you will ruin your entire life. I can guarantee that. 

What do you feel you are missing in your life by doing cocaine? Are you bored? Are you unhappy? Get as far away as you can from your 'friends' they are not going to serve you in any positive way whatsoever. Introduce different creative habits on the nights you would usually go out. For me, I choose to leave him, it was the only way to 'unfuck' myself and since then I've changed DRASTICALLY. Let your friends go and watch the person you will transform into. When you feel any sort of resistance, accept it and surrender to it. Be conscious of it, it will pass. I wish you sooooo much luck and I'm here supporting you a million percent along your way. 

[John Iverson]

21 minutes ago, Rilles said:

@aurum

But its scary to admit that I have no control... I think that why its best to stay a 1000 miles away from it so to speak.

I might move to Uni in another city in the autumn, I think that would help. Thanks for your reply

Just keep on not doing it.. if you fail, then do it again.. all addictions are very hard to control.. for me, my addiction is fap, now I am still keeping on going to do nofap.. and I changed a lot since Then

[Rilles]

@Charlotte

Wow, that’s sweet of you, felt a bit emotional when I read that... thanks for the support. I’m not usually bored, I actually live a fairly introverted simple life that I enjoy, the problem is a slight anxiety at social gatherings I believe... I want something extra when I’m at a party to take the edge off. 

[Prakhar]

Here's what you can try, my friend:

For 1 full week, cut contact with them. Give them some excuse or tell them that you're doing some kind of experiment. If they're your friends, they will understand. For a full week, reset your health by following healthy habits and feel the benefits from inside and outside. When the week is over, you'll no longer be attached to coke. You will gain a new perspective and won't be afraid to say no to coke with your friends. Even when you meet them, you can tell them that you've changed and you're improving your health. Maybe they will laugh but soon they will know that you're serious about it. Once they understand the new you, they will either accept you or reject you. If they accept, good. If they don't, good.

I know it's hard. But please don't fall down to the expectations of your friends. Raise your standards and if your friends learn from your example, good for them. Otherwise, don't judge them and have a strong will to stick to your commitment.

[Viking]

its easier to cut contact with those friends than to cut cocaine. listen to your gut, but I would cut the connection with those people for my whole life, people that do cocaine probably cant offer too much value to you anyway.

im addicted to masturbation, im always telling myself this is the last time, but its not, im always convincing myself to masturbate for some reason i come up with. i have no damn clue how to stop it, besides improving my life. most addictions come from a feeling of lack. or that or habit. since its not a habit for you its a feeling of lack. youre not fulfilled so the cocaine makes you feel better. if you would be high without it you wouldnt want to do it. work on yourself, get enlightened, do psychedelics and you wont need that stuff.

[favourthebold]

You don't believe it when you say it cos you really love doing coke lol.   You're enjoying the hell out of it right now.

It still might not lead somewhere good.

If you want to change it, write out how you want your life to look, how do you want to live, what kind of person do you want to be.

e.g. if I wanted to be an athlete, doing coke probably wouldn't fit into that image.  It would create internal pressure against it.

If you want to have heaps of friends and be the life of the party, coke actually help you do that (I imagine).  There's internal pressure to keep doing it.  

Think about what you want

[Rilles]

@favourthebold Its absolutely NOT a place I want to be in the future, the antithesis of it actually, but thats why its tricky, when you start out doing something you can never how it can snowball, I dont want to know to be honest. Just gonna cut out all the crappy distractions in my life and meditate more. I wish I could find a psychedelic  to try but its definitely not the right time in my life for that now.

[Charlotte]

@Rilles  My pleasure ❤️

If anxiety is the problem target your anxiety? If say you do cut from your friend's and find more highly conscious friends your still going to experience anxiety and you may turn to something else. Get to the root of your anxiety. For me personally alcohol used to be my way out of social anxiety, now it's mindfulness. 

❤️

[Rilles]

@Charlotte

Im trying to just face it head on, brute forceing myself to talk to people until something just cracks and I see it for what it is...a bullshit ”shyness” story Ive been carrying since my early teens, but it takes work.