What Do Girls Really Like In Bed?

[MIARIVEL]

Every woman is different, some like it rough, while others like it slow, some like to use toys and dirty talk, others don't. Why don't you just ask a girl what she likes and what turns her on before you assume your giving her what she wants. Depending on what your looking for when you sleep with girls, sex is usually about wanting to please the there person, however, some guys are just out to please themselves. 

[Will]

Just now, MIA.RIVEL said:

Every woman is different, some like it rough, while others like it slow, some like to use toys and dirty talk, others don't. Why don't you just ask a girl what she likes and what turns her on before you assume your giving her what she wants. Depending on what your looking for when you sleep with girls, sex is usually about wanting to please the there person, however, some guys are just out to please themselves. 

Every girl like to be pleased and impressed.. In order to do both of these, blokes(masculine) need to be able to do a few things..

1. you need to know if she is pleased  (read her)
2. You need to be able to take control of her experience so she can relax into the experience..
3. you have to be able to have something she has never done before (few times, something a lil bit exciting/enjoyable) and make her feel comfortable about it..

rinse cycle repeat...

Woman are all in there emotions, if he cant convince her to go into whatever role, then its just going to be boring run of the mill him getting his jollies and shes reaching for the toys..

 

 

The "what" is arbitrary, the "how" is where it is at..

 

[MIARIVEL]

@Will Isn't that obvious? lol

I'm a girl, I think I understand women.

[Will]

@MIA.RIVEL Yeah right...

Most people are not aware of how seduction works or why.. It happens in a sub conscious part of our psychy that hardly any body bothers to study..

Including yourself..

In a similar way you have no idea what your kidney is doing.. It is finely tuning about 50 different process you have no clue about..

Thats why we are all here.. because there is so much we are unaware of..

Most people wonder why the best sex youve ever had is with bad boys (not relationship material).. and the guy you love and is really sweet bores you to tears in the bedroom??

Oh and dont ask a fish advice on fishing..

( there are places that most woman just are not willing to go emotionally)

Kinda like explaining every jokes punchline.. takes the fun out of it..

 

[Argue]

@MIA.RIVEL ok true. This might sound weird but how do I ask it without sounding crazy/weird? You get me right? 

everyone else, thanks for the input. Very valuable stuff. Also, I think I'm just a selfish person who only  cares about my "fun". I'll try on Wednesday tho to ask my girl deeply what she really likes/how she wants it. Hope she's honest because I feel like all girls lack honesty. I don't know why they just don't like to express themeselves in my opinion. 

Edited April 5, 2016 by Argue

[oschi]

6 hours ago, Argue said:

@MIA.RIVEL ok true. This might sound weird but how do I ask it without sounding crazy/weird? You get me right? 

everyone else, thanks for the input. Very valuable stuff. Also, I think I'm just a selfish person who only  cares about my "fun". I'll try on Wednesday tho to ask my girl deeply what she really likes/how she wants it. Hope she's honest because I feel like all girls lack honesty. I don't know why they just don't like to express themeselves in my opinion. 

You don't know why they just dont like to express themselves? Why do you ask us how to ask them to be honest? Just be honest yourself

I only know that as a dude, I am not really into ONS. I like intimate and intense sex. I can only have that when I know the girl for some time already. My gf comes like everytime and I am fine with the fact that in the past she came a few times a day. Now it is just once a day but I also keep it lower cause for me it kinda gets boring. It also is disappointing for me that she is not into this crazy stuff like me. But she likes to break some limits sometimes. But she says what she wants and I hope that she is honest. But there also are some rules that rather apply to most people. Like being spontaneous, passionate, creative in the small things and so on. Sometimes abstaining from sex can help. 

[Will]

@Argue She is not going to tell you.. If she does it wont be fun exciting for her.. yeah she might get what she wants but its like someone telling you the punchline before the joke!!

There is soo much seduction  stuff out there.. Go and do your homework and then give it a whirl.. i.e. Tao of badass...

1. learn to read her body language
2. Learn how to push in a respectful and  considerate way
3. Learn how to seduce
4. Learn to recalibrate if your out of line..
5. Keep practising
6. Learn what stage your in and dont skip any steps unless you know what your doing.. dont go straight for sex
7. GIVE GIVE GIVE
8. Its all about surprise and titillation and excitement

   AND for crying out loud.. READ HER SIGNALS..

   We need to learn how to read her signals.. If she is freaking out stop !!!.

   Learn to recalibrate. its all part of seduction..

[Argue]

3 hours ago, Will said:

@Argue She is not going to tell you.. If she does it wont be fun exciting for her.. yeah she might get what she wants but its like someone telling you the punchline before the joke!!

There is soo much seduction  stuff out there.. Go and do your homework and then give it a whirl.. i.e. Tao of badass...

1. learn to read her body language
2. Learn how to push in a respectful and  considerate way
3. Learn how to seduce
4. Learn to recalibrate if your out of line..
5. Keep practising
6. Learn what stage your in and dont skip any steps unless you know what your doing.. dont go straight for sex
7. GIVE GIVE GIVE
8. Its all about surprise and titillation and excitement

   AND for crying out loud.. READ HER SIGNALS..

   We need to learn how to read her signals.. If she is freaking out stop !!!.

   Learn to recalibrate. its all part of seduction..

Very good stuff here. I like this. But how do I learn about seduction? Any books or videos you can suggest? I want to master the art of seduction now. 

Also, you say, "read her signals". How do I "read" her signals? Is that pure physiological? Or are emotions involved? Do I act empathetic? If she moans do I moan? (Sounds weird but I have many questions). Thanks. 

Edited April 5, 2016 by Argue

[Natasha]

@Argue Try these with your girl sometime...HOT!!! Especially 1, 4 and 5 

http://www.yourtango.com/2014245229/best-sex-ever-10-great-yoga-poses-double-as-sex-positions

[Argue]

Thanks @Natasha ! I cannot wait to try out #1 aka dead bug. Hot and spicy.  Hopefully this makes me too hot to resist haha.  

[poimandres]

Stimulate her mind, her body will do everything else naturally..

[Argue]

14 minutes ago, agnosis said:

Stimulate her mind, her body will do everything else naturally..

But how? What do you mean by stimulate her mind?  

[poimandres]

Some girls get off on talking about sex while you aren't even close to having sex.  By finding out what she likes, she will get in the mood.  There's so many niches in sex, some girls like this position, that position, oral, anal, vaginal, tied up (play safe), lightly whipped, choked (play safe), slow, fast, role play, role reversal, etc..

Dim lights, burn good smelling incense/oils, take your damn TIME, give her a massage, learn how to talk dirty (God damn you feel good, you're so wet.. etc..), get feedback from your partner.  Guys are stimulated by our vision, women are very mental.  Also, DO NOT CHANGE POSITIONS FREQUENTLY.  I know we like to see our women from this angle, that angle, but pick something and stay with it.

I highly recommend the Fine Art of Erotic Talk by Bonnie Gabriel.

 

 

Edited April 6, 2016 by agnosis

[Will]

@Argue

Sooo much content out there..

Tao of badass

Jason capital dating..

Be warned though. This stuff will change your world.. Mostly it will change you..Some of these guys may not apeal to you now, cos you have these nice guy mindsets. Rest assured these guys have tips and trick on how to get woman,,, but there big message is to "be" totally awesome in yourself and the girls will come and get you..

If you use pickup and seduction too much youll come across as needy.. Master seduction and body language and cold approach  and then.... evolve to just being awesome.. 

 

what ever you do dont rely on cold approach and seduction and body language ,, just learn them and then get to work on your social circle and your contribution to the world and being the best you can be...

You wont look back man!!

 

Message me .. Ill send you some links of the stuff I love..

[Pav]

I find it absurd that so many people think it's necessary to generalise other people over such trivial and meaningless qualities, in this case their genitalia. I see this a lot, even among these forums I've seen many people spreading stereotypes such as 'men are more logical and women are more emotional' or like the poster above 'guys are stimulated by our vision, women are very mental'. The truth is all the traits people define as either "masculine" or "feminine" can all be built up or repressed in anybody (the brain is highly plastic). I believe a much more accurate way to view other people, and indeed the world, is to simply see each individual as they are, without imposing any of your own beliefs and concepts of how they should be. 

So 'what do girls really like in bed?' You might as well be asking 'what do people really like in bed?' Everyone has their own unique set of preferences which is always changing.

I have also noticed Leo preaching the feminine-masculine dichotomy in some of his videos. I've forgetting which video this was in, he made the generalisation that men are active, wanting to impose themselves on the world, while women are passive, just wanting to be led, he claims that this dynamic is particularly noticeable in the bedroom. I believe you would find this dynamic mainly amongst people who are less secure in themselves and their sexuality, who are too easily influenced by the beliefs and values of their culture. Maslow found that this dynamic was not present in healthy (self-actualising) people when he studied their sexuality: (Motivation and Personality.pdf) 

Quote

Another characteristic I found in the attitudes about sexuality among healthy people is that they made no really sharp differentiation between the roles and personalities of the two sexes. That is, they did not assume that the female was passive and the male active, whether in sex or love or anything else. These people were all so certain of their maleness or femaleness that they did not mind taking on some of the cultural aspects of the opposite sex role. It was especially noteworthy that they could be both active and passive lovers and this was the clearest in the sexual act and in physical love-making. Kissing and being kissed, being above or below in the sexual act, taking the initiative, being quiet and receiving love, teasing and being teased - these were all found in both sexes. The reports indicated that both were enjoyed at different times. It was considered to be a shortcoming to be limited to just active love-making or passive love-making. Both have their particular pleasures for self-actualising people.

This agrees with the thesis the erotic and agapean love are basically different but merge in the best people. D'Arcy's thesis posits two kinds of love ,which are ultimately masculine or feminine, active or passive, self-centered or self-effacing, and it is true that in the general public these seem to contrast and to be at opposite pole. However, it is different in healthy people. In these individuals the dichotomies are resolved, and the individual becomes both active and passive, both selfish and unselfish, both masculine and feminine, both self-interested and self-effacing.

To be honest I think Leo has a lot of great content, but he seems to be quiet underdeveloped when it comes to love, interpersonal relationships, and sex.

[ArabiaNytes]

@Ajax

?????

Encore!

[Will]

7 hours ago, Mat Pav said:

I have also noticed Leo preaching the feminine-masculine dichotomy in some of his videos. I've forgetting which video this was in, he made the generalisation that men are active, wanting to impose themselves on the world, while women are passive, just wanting to be led, he claims that this dynamic is particularly noticeable in the bedroom

these are just models to try and understand a concept..

not truths..

of course there are those that have evolved past but its still a pretty good rule of thumb.

dont get too bent out of shape on the concepts here, some are designed to generate publicity and to draw people into Personal Development..

allot of the concepts discussed here are evolutionary.. seeing that you can achieve success in these parts of your life help to show you that you can assume some responsibility for your actions..

7 hours ago, Mat Pav said:

These people were all so certain of their maleness or femaleness that they did not mind taking on some of the cultural aspects of the opposite sex role. It was especially noteworthy that they could be both active and passive lovers and this was the clearest in the sexual act and in physical love-making

taken out of context somewhat.. the polarity still has to be there it does not matter who takes on the role.. i.e. transgender or gay..  polarity is always essential in attraction.. thats the real take away point..

Some communication is always required in the moment to determin who is what, and yeah it can changed fluidly..

[Pav]

@Will Perhaps this model could help someone at a very low stage of development, but I don't think it would be much use after that. From my own personal observations I don't this model to be particularly accurate at all, at least not among healthier people. I believe this model is rather hindering for the higher levels of development is this area, and I have only found a few people on this forum who seem to have transcended these concepts. It seems many people here are taking this model quite literally.

I'm not quite sure how this was out of context. I interpreted it as them being so secure in themselves and their sexuality that they were comfortable in taking on roles which their culture has deemed to be for the opposite sex, both inside and out of the bedroom. They are comfortable in being either active or passive in love-making and they find pleasure in both, preferring not to limit themselves to only one. They have resolved the dichotomy and are nurturing both "masculine" and "feminine" traits.

I think Maslow was specifically trying to say that the polarity had been transcended. In chapter 11 under the subtitle "Resolution of Dichotomies" (I'll only quote part of the text since I don't have the time right not to type it out, I highly recommend reading it for yourself): 

Quote

At several points in this chapter it was concluded that what has been considered in the past to be polarities or opposites or dichotomies were only so in less healthy people. In healthy people, these dichotomies were resolved, and many oppositions thought to be intrinsic merged and coalesced with each other to form unities.

[...]

Similar finding have been reached for [...] active-passive, masculine-feminine, lust-love, [...]

What I quoted in my first post was from chapter 12 under "Sexuality". I strongly recommend reading all of chapters 11 and 12, it is were Maslow describes the characteristics of self-actualising people, it's so inspiring.

[Will]

2 hours ago, Mat Pav said:

I think Maslow was specifically trying to say that the polarity had been transcended

Oh ok.. I must admit I dont understand the detail of what maslow was saying well enough..

Well ... I guess what I cater to is the people who subscribe to the idea of polarity..

Actually it might be nice to here about what people who have transcended polarity like to do then??

 

On a side note

I am uncomfortable by some of the labels here.. healthy, unhealthy, higher level lower level.. I believe strongly we should be careful when using these.. as I have said many times before in other posts.. I personally dont think we should be giving the impression that what we do here is high or mighty.. we choose this path just like anyone else does.. all paths are correct..

[Pav]

@Will Motivation and Personality.pdf chapter 12 - Love in Self-actualising People will give you a better understanding then I can.

You make a very good point. We should definitely remain humble, no one can ever be superior or inferior to anyone else. I think Maslow uses 'healthy' to refer to people who have fulfilled their base need (physiological, safety, belongingness, love, and esteem) and are pursuing self-actualisation and self-transcendence needs. I guess I am just inspired by Maslow's model/description and have personally chosen it as my own path of development. But you are absolutely right! I should recognise that everyone's paths are all equally as valid and not evaluate people according to my own. Thank you for pointing it out to me.

Edited April 7, 2016 by Mat Pav