Message to you Leo regarding the retreat and last blog post

[Tetcher]

You used this video as a releasing mechanism to lower the pressure on your ego, which is counter productive or necessary. In the video you're not really talking to the watcher but to yourself, it's a form of a dialogue with yourself as if you talked to yourself in thoughts. You having to share these insights is just a pretense, it's your ego. You said that you would go silent for 30 days but you had to release the pressure by doing this. If you manage to stay in the unbearableness for an extended period of time you will get through.

Regarding the whole love thing, you played a trick on yourself to stop facing the unbearable seemingly eternal pain, that's why you didn't get to the inflexion point. Of course experiencing some love channeled through memories won't have the same impact as  being able to accept eternal infinite suffering which would free you from the fear of suffering permanently.

And you can't accept eternal infinite suffering the way you faced it, how could you ? You need to reach the right alignement within yourself that will allow you to do so. Then to be enlightened means that you are able to stay in this right alignement in ever more circumstances, as if it was a skill to train.

Also are you interested in chasing an experience or building a ladder towards ultimate enlightenment ? Drop you interest in this inflexion point just keep fighting the greater jihad, it's your only business. Your psychedelic trips mean nothing. This inflexion point, this love that you channeled they come from the memories of your previous trips, so it was actually noisy mind that generated expectations and lies. Just stay in what is actual, expectations coming from memories are not actual.

And when you try to rationalize about how you already got through many times all I see is an ego trying to show off. What I see is that you still aren't settled so who knows if those experiences are worth any value. It seems to me that they are just noisy memories that keep you from staying in what is actual when it matters the most.

 

Yes this is me talking to myself, let us meet already...

Edited May 3, 2018 by Tetcher

[Lelouch]

He just let us know that he was going away for a while and the reasons behind it. I would be very upset if new videos weren't coming out without knowing why. Maybe he is dead? Maybe he just quit? See, what I am saying? As someone releasing content to tens of thousands of people he has a responsibility to let us know if content releasing is going on a break— and I would say he has fulfilled his responsibility.  

The videos where he talks about himself at a length are quite honestly scarce, of the top of my head, those are 'A vision for Actualization' where he gives a lot of examples from his own life on what actualization can do for you. The second video is one about 'Ultimate life purpose' where he uses his own life to illustrate the principles he is trying to teach. And the third one is the ''30 days of meditation retreat'', which is the one you speak of. 

Point is, most of his videos go in-depth into quite some complex and abstract concepts, where he expounds on these concepts through quite a bit of technical language. In essence, al he does is talk about the knowledge and insights he has gained so that those insights might help us. Of course, he has a passion for this and enjoys it greatly. I just think that you have displayed something Alan Watts calls ''spiritual pride'', where you are trying to one-up Leo: 

Quote

"This is therefore to say that the transformation of human consciousness through meditation is frustrated so long as we think of it as something that I by myself can bring about, by some sort of wangle, by some sort of gimmick. Because you see it leads to endless games of spiritual one-up-manship. And of guru competition. Of my guru being more effective than your guru. My yogas are faster than your yoga. I am more aware of myself than you are. I am humbler than you are. I am sorrier for my sins than you are. I love you more than you love me. There’s this interminable goings on where people fight and wonder whether they are a bit more evolved than somebody else and so on.[...]'' — Alan Watts

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by Lelouch