What was that?

[Torkys]

I just finished my weirdest meditation session ever.

Timer set for 30 minutes, laying down, I start doing the Do Nothing technique. For a few minutes, my mind wanders off then it starts thinking about my life purpose ("to let God take over me and awaken Darkness through me") and I am reminded of the inevitable consequence of aligning myself with it - my (psychological) death. I almost started crying while mentally asking God for my death and the end of my suffering. I started shaking which is normal when I meditate but I was shaking more and it released more emotions than usual. After like 10 minutes, it stopped, my mind activity slowed down drastically for a minute and then the strangest thing started happening - I felt like I was spinning.

This is ironic because I tried whirling today. When I resisted the nausea, it got worse - I got the impression that God doesn't care about suffering and only wants you to surrender. This thought coming up while this was happening to me made perfect sense. With time, the spinning became more pronounced, I felt I was sinking and being taken somewhere. Other than my anxious thoughts - I thought this will lead me to my death - and slowly growing resistance this was the only thing in my experience. It was powerful and surreal, I can not describe it. After 15 minutes, I got up completely confused and helpless.

What the actual fuck was this?

[Solace]

It's a reward from the universe for doing your healing journey so well, as a confirmation that you are on the right path. You're overstimulated nervous system is starting to relax, opening you up to greater mystical experiences in higher dimensions. Nice one man!

[Torkys]

@Solace This didn't seem like a reward. Even though I have been on the healing journey for some time now and made significant improvements to my methods recently (purification being my life purpose), this seemed scary.

I would prefer omniscience as a gift, thank you, Universe.

[tsuki]

14 hours ago, Torkys said:

What the actual fuck was this?

A subtle hint that in order to resist, you need to surrender to resistance.