I've awakened :D I get ittt :DDD This is so stupidly simple :D

[Applejuice]

Okay so I've been meditating for a couple years but I didn't really know what I was doing until a couple weeks ago. And WOWWWW. Seriously how do most people not know about this? 

My first glimpse of enlightenment was about a month ago and I was doing neti neti whilst high on weed and man that was some crazy shit. It felt really alien. I suddenly realised that there is no experiencer and all there is and ever was is experience. And yeah this felt really really alien. I felt like I just discovered orgasms for the first time hahaha. And now when I meditate I gradually gain more minfulness and thoughts start to fade into noise and everything becomes 'noise' ( neutral  and there isn't anything that is more significant than any other thing ) and once that happens I feel like a key has just been taken out of the lock. And I'm not attached to my thoughts, I'm not convinced that I am my thoughts, or my sight or my senstations anymore and not in that problem solving mode.  It's fucking beautiful and so alien at the same time. I often feel a wave of energy run through me as this happens like a vibration. that just coarses through me and I'm suddenly non attached to anything. Then this fades and I'm attached to thoughts again. And then I notice I'm talking to myself in my head about how enlightened I am lmao. And then I realise this is ego. And I'm back in square one. And I cannot go more than 20 minutes without an uncontrollable urge to move and open my eyes. Also when I opened my eyes after my most recent meditation everything was as if I have never seen it before, like I had new eyes or I was just born. and it gradually fades into my regular everyday state. I also experience mild closed eye visuals whilst this is happening and a ringing in my ears. But for the most part it feels like I've fallen out of my thoughts. Anyone else experience anythign similar? Was that falling out of thoughts the void? And if so how can I make it last and not attach myself to the ego?

EDIT: Also I'm noticing how because I'm not in that state anymore I cannot really grasp what that's like. Is this falling out of thoughts thing of any significance? Am I going crazy? Is this just the ego playing tricks and deluding itself into believing it's enlightened?

EDIT: I also feel weird presences or like someone is watching me whilst meditating but that fades too as i focus on my breath. I also see different colours as this state comes on and it looks a  lot like the northern lights.

EDIT: I know this is the third edit lmao but I'm also noticing how whenever this state comes on it's like my mind doesnt want me to see it. it diverts my attention. This is some freaky shit maaaan And I get it now how when leo said its like a scratch on the top of your head turns into finding a zip then slowly unzipping yourself from yourself. 

EDIT: I don't know if this is psychosis coming on or if it was enlightenment. It feels pretty good. 

EDIT: My hands feel like just hands and not like i own them ownership is a delusion. What the fuck is happening? Am I delusional and just imagining I'm enlightened? if anyone knows then pls tell me what is happening. Should I ask a psychiatrist if I'm sane?

EDIT: So my regular state where im attached to thoughts is literally insane because everything is fundamentally neutral and just noise and believing that it's something more is craziness. And that means everyone else is insane too. But I know what sane is now. what the fuck

EDIT: How do I know this is not my mind playing tricks on me making me believe I've experienced enlightenment? When really I'm just imagining it

EDIT: I feel pretty regular now and I cannot really understand it unless im in that state. I cannot unsee this though :DD i feel exactly the same as before I meditated today but really really aware

EDIT: I have no idea what the fuck i was talking about anymore lmao wtf

EDIT: Now I see that attachments are like lenses on the truth ( pure conciousness or neutrality as i said ) But I'm not in that state anymore I just get it

EDIT: Okay so it's the next day and I feel basically the same as before. I think that I try to rationalise what is happening and I begin to believe that my rationalisations are enlightenment. I don't look at it as crazy anymore. more like really sane. 

Edited May 2, 2018 by Applejuice

[cetus]

26 minutes ago, Applejuice said:

Was that falling out of thoughts the void?

@Applejuice It's certainly heading in the right direction. With more practice you can let go more and learn to float like a leaf down that stream of no thought. That stream eventually leads to an ocean of pure, empty, perfect awareness. When you become completely dissolved into that ocean, that is the void.

[Applejuice]

@cetus56 Okay great :DD  So I'm not going crazy. 

[Nahm]

@Applejuice The practices are sound. Great to hear you’re sticking with it. I suggest not naming or categorizing the experiencing. Just keeping returning to the neutral state. It’s only gonna get better and better. Enjoy!

[Applejuice]

@Nahm WOOOW lol I literally feel as if I discovered orgasms or fire or some shit like that wow.  It gets better?!!!!??! I am crying rn btw  :DD

[Nahm]

@Applejuice awesome.

[abrakamowse]

Nice! Thanks for sharing @Applejuice 

[egoless]

@Applejuice You seem overexcited. First of all, stop chasing states. Awakening is not a state or any kind of form including the feeling of bliss (however, it could be accompanied by it). Based on what you are saying I would say you are on the first stage. Neti Neti process is essential starting point and maybe you already learned what you are not from it. However, this is not even a halfway. Now you need to become conscious who you are! And noone can tell you how long may it take. You will need lots of self inquiry and presence as awareness. You need to become conscious of your unlimited nature. You will need to empty your mind. You are trying to achieve smth while meditating instead of being still. Work on that...

Edited May 1, 2018 by egoless

[Girzo]

Good, but don't cling to it. There's still so much, much, much, much more to discover.

[Lucas Lousada]

Just remember:

You have built another wall for you consciousness. If you try to meditate again you will probably go well for some time but when the mind feel threatened it will use its new SHIELD. "knowing how it is to experience" and you will probably fall for this thoughts, and lose yourself for some time on them, analyzing them, remembering them, thinking about them..  until you realize you are trapped in this new labyrinth your mind have created. just remember that to awake you need to fully just observe, and do not think about it, do not try, do nothing, just let yourself go.

[Pallero]

@Applejuice Very cool, congratulations! Keep working!

[Arkandeus]

wonderful, great job on enlightening, enjoy the freedom

[Nexeternity]

Good one

[Applejuice]

@Lucas Lousada I've noticed it yeah now my mind keeps talking about enlightenment to itself trying to rationalise it but it doesnt work and creates delusion

[cirkussmile]

Be humble and practicie love to make best use of this <3

[tsuki]

9 hours ago, Applejuice said:

@Lucas Lousada I've noticed it yeah now my mind keeps talking about enlightenment to itself trying to rationalise it but it doesnt work and creates delusion

@Applejuice Remember that this is the game of courage, not of fear.
When you start to fear to lose this, it is precisely the moment to cast it away so thoroughly, that you even cast away hope that it will come back.
It is to be cast away so deeply that you may never get it back. To return to your own self.
If you try to grasp it and make it stick with you - you will lose it.
This is the game of contradiction and paradox. Learn that it has no rules. It is only audacity that will get you there.

Great sharing. Godspeed!

[Guest Quanty]

This is the beginning, now tap only into breath whatever you do. You don't need to sit and meditate with eyes closed. You meditate with eyes close to release blockages mainly, in the beginning. 

But when you can handle anytime your body energy, then it is very easy to meditate 24/7, everywhere. 

[Ether]

17 hours ago, Girzo said:

Good, but don't cling to it. There's still so much, much, much, much more to discover.

Haha, the human mentality, "We need more!!!!" hahaha

[Applejuice]

@Ether lol

[tsuki]

@Mikael89 @Ether Oh man, you guys have no idea.

Enlightenment is seeing stillness in ceaseless movement.
To let go of 'I' is to get rid of the barrier that prevents the movement.
It simply moves. By itself. Precisely because there is nobody to benefit from it.

Infinite meaning in pure nothingness.