I don't know what to do or how to get more joy out of life

[SeekingPeace]

I very often feel that I live to work. It's an awful feeling and the depressing realisation is that as a 29-year-old, I have more than my current lifetime until I can retire. It's quite an overwhelming feeling and has led me to consider that perhaps I am not necessarily seeking the right vocation, rather I simply don't like being forced to work so many hours just to live. That sounds really bratty, I get that, but it is a pretty sad state of affairs that we spend the vast majority of our best years at the mill stone.

 

Until recently I had quite severe issues with anxiety which manifested itself physically. The symptoms never really got to the point where I was feeling mentally unstable or close to a panic attack, but I could feel it in my chest, like I was in fight or flight constantly and, for about 2 years, my resting pulse rate was around 100. About two months ago I stopped drinking coffee as it is a known stimulant for anxiety and anxiety symptoms. It happened pretty quickly, but my anxiety was gone within a week and my pulse went down to 70, so I am pretty pleased with that.

There's a weight off my shoulders now and I want to try moving on to bigger and better things now that I'm not so consumed by my obsessive compulsion in observing my heart rate which, most likely, contributed to a higher pulse and anxiety.

 

Any advice? I am trying to find more acceptance and peace in the way my life is, where my life is going in the short-term and try and determine the direction I want to travel in the long-term. 

 

Meditation is something I enjoy when I do it(rarely) but it is a tremendous struggle as I have ADHD. I don't want to medicate the ADHD because it usually brings with it a higher blood pressure and I feel that's biting off the nose to spite the face, as we'd say in the UK.

 

Anyway, rambling now. I am all ears. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend.

[Truth]

That doesn't sound bratty at all. That sounds like someone waking up!

10 minutes ago, SeekingPeace said:

Meditation is something I enjoy when I do it(rarely) but it is a tremendous struggle as I have ADHD. I don't want to medicate the ADHD because it usually brings with it a higher blood pressure and I feel that's biting off the nose to spite the face, as we'd say in the UK.

that struggle is healing! that's growth happening when you can persevere through that! 

All the pain in your life are profound important lessons for you to take and grow from. 

When you're looking for peace and acceptance don't go looking for it coming from people, objects, toys, gifts or anything like that. look for it inside yourself, because that's a permanent thing. people, things, toys are not permanent and you will just continue to suffer. 

this may sound a little woo woo, but trust me, most peoples biggest mistakes when it comes to happiness is they put it into impermanent things. and there is something deep inside of you that is permanent, and when you find that, put everything into that. 

[SeekingPeace]

22 minutes ago, Truth said:

That doesn't sound bratty at all. That sounds like someone waking up!

that struggle is healing! that's growth happening when you can persevere through that! 

All the pain in your life are profound important lessons for you to take and grow from. 

When you're looking for peace and acceptance don't go looking for it coming from people, objects, toys, gifts or anything like that. look for it inside yourself, because that's a permanent thing. people, things, toys are not permanent and you will just continue to suffer. 

this may sound a little woo woo, but trust me, most peoples biggest mistakes when it comes to happiness is they put it into impermanent things. and there is something deep inside of you that is permanent, and when you find that, put everything into that. 

 

Thank you. Yes I think I seem to ultra-focus on new ideas or hobbies in the hopes I'll find something that just 'clicks'.

I feel like I have such a void in my life that I need an obsession to fill it, so I tend to go off on tangents and all in on things.

[Truth]

31 minutes ago, SeekingPeace said:

 

Thank you. Yes I think I seem to ultra-focus on new ideas or hobbies in the hopes I'll find something that just 'clicks'.

I feel like I have such a void in my life that I need an obsession to fill it, so I tend to go off on tangents and all in on things.

If you continue to improve and stay on this path you'll eventually discover that that void is actually incredibly profound. 

[Leo Gura]

@SeekingPeace You are seeing a higher truth. Most work is just a waste of time and life.

There are other options to the conventional rat race. You could join an ashram or commune.

I have a friend who didn't want to work so he joined the Hare Krishna commune in Tennessee.

I don't necessarily endorse that. Communes can have lots of issues of their own, but it's certainly one viable possibility. Research your options. Stop thinking inside the rat race box.

[SeekingPeace]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@SeekingPeace You are seeing a higher truth. Most work is just a waste of time and life.

There are other options to the conventional rat race. You could join an ashram or commune.

I have a friend who didn't want to work so he joined the Hare Krishna commune in Tennessee.

I don't necessarily endorse that. Communes can have lots of issues of their own, but it's certainly one viable possibility. Research your options. Stop thinking inside the rat race box.

 

Thank you.

One thing that is a saving grace for me right now is that despite hating the Monday-Friday grind and enjoying my weekends, now it's Sunday evening I am really looking forward to seeing my colleagues tomorrow. I work with some truly wonderful people and I enjoy being caring and compassionate to others and expressing a genuine interest in their well-being and the well-being of their family. I am not financially well-off(at least relative to the society I live in), but kindness is a currency I think we can all muster and share with others.

 

I am, funnily you should mention it, considering moving in to a local Buddhist Sangha to focus on meditation and other pursuits that I believe would help.

 

Can I also thank you for the amount of time and effort you put in to your content. I'm sure for every thousand views you get, several people mention the gravity of its impact on them, but I hope you know there are lots of us out there that you've helped and it's truly appreciated!

[RISE]

@SeekingPeace Hello, I'd advice you to try some form of fitness activity what you like or suits your health. 
I'm trying to seek peace myself as well, for me fitness was one of the simplest and best practice. After 2-3 years of active lifting I find it very deep and beautiful. It's like meditation for me, I'm focusing only on myself during the workouts. I'm a big fan of Leo but one thing I think he is missing and it is being physically strong as a male. It  givess you a kind of state of mind which is truly amazing.
You might give it a try - it works for me, brings me closer to peace. 

[Nahm]

[Ether]

Nothing helps.