Update: finally talked to my brother..

[Karin12414]

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone that gave their support and advise in my last post. This hasn't  been easy, but it was nice to finally get it all out.

So I got it over with. We met up yesterday and he didn't try anything. I told him that I wanted him to stay away from me. That I didn't want him in my life anymore. I told him he has hurt me too deeply and I wanted it to stop. 

He kinda just laughed about the whole thing and said some pretty ugly things... But he ultimately said he'd leave me alone. So now we'll see if that's true.

Just trying not to let what he said get to me... But he had to say just the right shit to hurt... 

[phoenix666]

that's very hardcore of you, congrats on your strength <3 

whatever he told you and what emotions that evoked in you, don't suppress them. they'll grow into a massiv baggage of shadow that you don't want to carry with you for the rest of your life. let yourself feel those emotions and reach out for help if you need some to face them. this doesn't mean that his words are true, in fact don't believe any of them. but don't suppress your pain, in order to heal we must suffer though it. I've always suppressed so much it ended in total apathy, now I have to face everything I've run away from. but you are strong, you faced your brother like that, so you can do it! I wish you all the best <3

[Nathan]

He knows full-well what he's doing and the trauma it carries but chooses to dehumanise you and does it anyway. Standing up for yourself to him is brave and empowering but don't trust his words, you don't know what his headspace is at the moment so don't allow yourself to be in a situation with him where there isn't a third party present.

Online support is nice but I feel you should confide all this to somebody you trust in your life, it doesn't have to be a family member or anyone associated with your family or anything, a close friend maybe.

I'm sure it sounds like a lot to put on somebody, but people can be surprisingly supportive and the alternative is dealing with the situation without support, you shouldn't have to deal with the situation alone. 

[zoey101]

4 hours ago, Nathan said:

He knows full-well what he's doing and the trauma it carries but chooses to dehumanise you and does it anyway. Standing up for yourself to him is brave and empowering but don't trust his words, you don't know what his headspace is at the moment so don't allow yourself to be in a situation with him where there isn't a third party present.

Online support is nice but I feel you should confide all this to somebody you trust in your life, it doesn't have to be a family member or anyone associated with your family or anything, a close friend maybe.

I'm sure it sounds like a lot to put on somebody, but people can be surprisingly supportive and the alternative is dealing with the situation without support, you shouldn't have to deal with the situation alone. 

Agreed. There's gotta be someone who can carry you through this. Congrats on the courage. Keep it up! Stay strong. 

He obviously wanted to hurt you. That doesn't mean anything he said was true. You decide who you are. Not him!

[LiakosN]

I ve cut my brother from my life 3 years ago. What was your problem with him? 

[zoey101]

39 minutes ago, LiakosN said:

I ve cut my brother from my life 3 years ago. What was your problem with him? 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/20570-am-i-crazy/?do=findComment&comment=221122

 

[Karin12414]

Thank you all. I know he was just trying to hurt me because I said shit he didn't want to hear. I took time alone to reflect and just to keep myself from being sucked into his lies again....

I feel a little better, but I just wonder what next, you know.. I feel like now that I have taken care of this issue, I feel empty... I don't know...

[Nahm]

@Karin12414 Might feel empty cause you haven’t really resolved it with yourself. I’m just saying this based on how relieving and freeing the feeling of resolving an issue usually is.