"how To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others" Summary

[Juan Cruz Giusto]

I've done a summary of the Sunday video. Here it is:

 

We are really addicted to care about status and what is “normal”. It is a biological drive in your mind and it is very challenging to change this.

Why do we compare?

-          Because it gives you a sense of value and worth, it gives you a meaning and purpose. “How are you doing relative to your friends?” People think that because they are doing something better their value increases, they think that they are better than others. They only way we can get a sense of our value is by our peers and be in the social matrix.

-          We also compared our self so nobody calls you weird.

-           Some people do it for motivation and challenge (this is not a positive motivation though).

-          Envy and deep feeling of lack.

-          Narcissistic desire to be the best. Thirst of power.

-          Feeling of security

If you want a fulfilling life you should give up comparing with others. Most comparing is actually neurotic and will rob you of joy and fulfillment. Most comparing comes from:

-          Low self-stem

-          Not owning your own life and uniqueness

-          Conformity

-          Lie of lack (you feel that you lack something)

-          Scarcity mentality (there are not enough resources for everyone)

This can be outgrown!!! There are 7 keys:

1-      Self-worth does not exist: The truth is that no amount of accomplishment never gives you worth in life. Question what is actually worth and you will realize that it is just a label. THINGS DON’T HAVE WORTH. Worth is something that we create. The attempt to acquire self-worth is a losing battle since no matter how many things you accomplish you won’t feel better. YOU ARE NOT BETTER FOR ACCOMPLISHING MORE SINCE VALUE IS A STORY WE CREATE. YOU DON’T NEED EXTERNALS TO BE HAPPY, EVEN THOUGH SOCIETY TELLS YOU THAT. This will free you up to live a free life since as long as you believe that you really need stuff you will be on a never ending search for happiness. Don’t be a slave to value. No human being is better than every other human being. DETACH FROM VALUE AND START GIVING A SHIT. Everyone is the same.

 

2-      Human beings are too complex to compare: You are not comparing cars. Human beings are super complex since each one of us have different family, genetics, resources, histories and influences. You cannot compare because they are not the same, the mind cherry-pick stuff and it is totally unfair comparison. There is no reason why should you be as successful as others, there are different factors that contributes to it.

 

3-      Competition is stupid: It is a losing game since there is always someone better than you at whatever you are doing. Even if you become number one, it is not actually fulfilling; it’s exciting for a couple of days but that’s it. If you become #1 you will live in fear since you are afraid that someone is going to surpass you. Competition is stupid, FOCUS ON BEING A CREATOR! Focus on what you have to do, your own values. The mature adult is a creator.

 

4-      Yes, I have handicaps:  Every human being is good at something and bad at something else. You cannot be perfect. We don’t accept these weaknesses, we want to be perfect but this is obviously impossible. Reframe your weaknesses and transform them into strengths; think like this: your life is short, so you need to be great at everything, focus on your strengths and accept your weaknesses (this will take you years). You have to love yourself over and over again in regards of your handicaps.

 

5-      Being normal is overrated: The human herd is stupid. The average person is mediocre and does not behave wisely; they don’t have a fulfilling life. THE MOST FULFILLING THING IS TO BE YOURSELF. Don’t try to fit in. Your uniqueness is what you should strive, put your eccentricities on the line and express it fully. SHINE TRHOUGH YOUR ECCENTRICITIES. Nobody likes a vanilla man, BE FUCKING DIFFERENT AND ACT AS YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF (YOU WILL NEED TIME).

 

a.       Fake uniqueness vs authentic uniqueness: Authentic uniqueness is recognizing who you really are on the inside, your strengths, your weaknesses, your values, your eccentricities, your passions, what you hate; you learn all of these and then your express yourself authentically. You are no longer acting or playing to be someone else, you are fully relaxed and being yourself. THE WAY YOU BECOME UNIQUE, PARADOXICALLY, IS BEING YOURSELF SINCE NOBODY IS DOING THAT.

 

6-      I’m too busy loving myself to compare with others:  Fully love yourself and fall in love with you and with your life. Take ownership of your life. The herd is always looking around, you need to focus totally inward and create a wonderful life. You have to work on your health, finance, career, relationships. YOU LOVE THE GROWTH YOU ARE HAVING AND YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE COMPARING. You have to be self-actualizing all the time, don’t focus on the outside.

 

7-      “I love to see people succeed”: You need to believe that resources are infinite. Don’t be envious, when you see people being successful you have to think that you can have it too. YOU NEED A VISION FOR YOUR LIFE. If one person can have it you can have it, “add it to your life”. Create a unique vision for your life, custom your life as you want to. You have to be really happy that people are accomplishing things since it signifies that you can get it too.

 

Divorce the quality from the person. Recognize that you can acquire everything with hard work and discipline, you can develop everything that you want if you are intelligent. You can develop any type of skills. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR LIFE.

 

There are not limited positions in life. Question scarcity constantly and destroy those limited beliefs. If you are a creator you can create value from nothing, ENERGY IS INFINITE! We live in an economy of ideas and knowledge and there are an infinite numbers of ideas. There are always more and more ideas to be created. Scarcity is a limiting belief.

 

Some areas in which people compare and solutions:

·         Physical appearance: You have to accept whatever your physical appearance is.

·         Performance: You can perform as others if you decide to put the necessary work. Decide if you want that level of performance. If it is just put the necessary work.

·         Financial and material possession: if you see someone that has the material possession that you want, just decide your vision and work towards it. There is no reason why you can’t have anything. Do you really want it?

·         Position in life and status: The same as above, go pursue it.

·         Business rankings: It is a dead end, this doesn’t produce any meaningful work. Focus on your business and what can you create.

·         Abilities: You can develop them if you want to.

The only reason to compare yourself is to expand your imagination of what is possible. You can be inspired by watching other people’s life; take from the ideas and create your own extraordinary life.

If you want more, I have like 20 more summaries of Leo's videos.

[Mary]

Thanks man, awesome!

[Guest]

It is funny how the newer videos of Leo seem like a summary of other videos he did. Basically everything is connected with each other. There is actually nothing new that he can tell us. He can only repeat himself and hope that our monkey minds transform. Nice quote from Kafka that I would translate like this:

There is one destination. There is no path. What we call the path is procrastination.

[Bombardini]

Thanks for this! 

[Stef]

I think we need a subforum for Leo's videos. We can have a thread for each one where we will discuss the ideas presented. It will be a lot more structured.

@Leo Gura What do you think?

[Nic]

On 7 mars 2016 at 8:14 AM, jcgiusto said:

If you want more, I have like 20 more summaries of Leo's videos.

Go ahead man! That would be helpful!