I want to understand

[zoey101]

Man had a rough ass night.. but still trying to stay positive and think about what you all said... Can be tough sometimes though..

[Nahm]

@zoey101 If you notice, when you first wake up, you have a clean mental slate. A brand new mind. Like a toddler. Not a care in the world! Notice upon awakening, that the ego remembers, reloads concerns, recreates worrys. Awareness of this alone is enough. The idea that you have ever been anything less than perfect, absolutely free, and loved - are just ideas. It’s wild, but, you created those ideas! You don’t need them anymore. You’re perfect, free, and loved. 

[zoey101]

8 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@zoey101 If you notice, when you first wake up, you have a clean mental slate. A brand new mind. Like a toddler. Not a care in the world! Notice upon awakening, that the ego remembers, reloads concerns, recreates worrys. Awareness of this alone is enough. The idea that you have ever been anything less than perfect, absolutely free, and loved - are just ideas. It’s wild, but, you created those ideas! You don’t need them anymore. You’re perfect, free, and loved. 

Thank you. That's really beautiful.

But it seems like today is determined to be pretty shitty too... I'm borrowing my husband's phone because I can't find mine and he got a message from a coworker about giving him some meth....

I looked through the messages and  he has apparently been doing it all week... That would explain his over extreme responses this week... But shit... What can I say? I had a feeling but I wanted to believe he wouldn't do that behind my back...

What do I do with this? How am I supposed to "actualize" this....?

He's sleeping it off now I'm getting and it's taking everything in me not to just explode right now...

[zoey101]

I'm sorry... I guess the "ego" is persistent...

[Nahm]

@zoey101 Yeah. I know. 

Sit, breathe from your stomach. It is okay. It is. Ground yourself in your stomach breathing. It’s calm. You’re going to appreciate that calm when you talk to him. “What can I say?”. What do you want to say? How much is what you want to say about you? How much can you ACTUALLY center yourself with stomach breathing, and put yourself aside? He is doing the meth in an attempt to heal, to feel better. He is very lost. Disconnected from God. You can focus on yourself, and not give 2 shits about what he needs. Or you can put yourself aside, and help him. Calmness is the key. I know you got a lot on the line.I know. Calmness is the key. Be an example. Not a judge. 

This addiction is bigger than both of you. He’s going to need professional help, and you’re going to get a glimpse of how much love is in you, how deep it is. It’s going to blow your mind.

[zoey101]

God dam... That made me cry...

But you're right..no matter how furious and hurt I am...

I know it's not about me.. he's been going through a lot lately.... Found out a friend he knew since middle school committed suicide... And now his grandfather that he doesn't really like (because he asked if our daughter came out white) is dying... And he hasn't seen him yet...

I don't know what to do...

[Nahm]

@zoey101

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sRvLxc9AFvY

 

https://www.rehabs.com/i-left-my-addicted-husbandand-it-saved-our-lives/

https://www.12keysrehab.com/dos-and-donts-for-helping-your-addicted-spouse/

[Nahm]

@zoey101 First sit and focus on breathing from your stomach. Relax every little muscle from the very top of your head, slowly through your neck, down you back, through your hips, down your legs, and let any tension flow right out through your toes. Do this over and over. Commit to it. 

Take your understanding (very wise of you) that it is not about you, and turn it into a realization. Realize it - and you can start to see that it is you, your perspective, your motives, which create your “Furious and hurt”. You don’t have to. I acknowledge this is not trivial, or easy. You acknowledge this is an opportunity for you to grow at lightening speed. 

You might be able to help. You can’t fight with him, you can’t argue. He will be deeply confused and he will think this is a problem going on with YOU and HIM. 

You must return your focus to breathing from your stomach. You can’t get sucked into arguing with him. You shouldn’t even be mad at him. That would be selfish. 

Just love him genuinely. Tell him to get the help he needs. 

Ideally, he would check into a rehab / hospital - TODAY.  That is not on you though. You take care of you, and that little miracle of yours. 

[zoey101]

9 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@zoey101 First sit and focus on breathing from your stomach. Relax every little muscle from the very top of your head, slowly through your neck, down you back, through your hips, down your legs, and let any tension flow right out through your toes. Do this over and over. Commit to it. 

Take your understanding (very wise of you) that it is not about you, and turn it into a realization. Realize it - and you can start to see that it is you, your perspective, your motives, which create your “Furious and hurt”. You don’t have to. I acknowledge this is not trivial, or easy. You acknowledge this is an opportunity for you to grow at lightening speed. 

You might be able to help. You can’t fight with him, you can’t argue. He will be deeply confused and he will think this is a problem going on with YOU and HIM. 

You must return your focus to breathing from your stomach. You can’t get sucked into arguing with him. You shouldn’t even be mad at him. That would be selfish. 

Just love him genuinely. Tell him to get the help he needs. 

Ideally, he would check into a rehab / hospital - TODAY.  That is not on you though. You take care of you, and that little miracle of yours. 

Thank you... man this really sucks... But at least I can be "free" of it while he is asleep... Nothing I can say or do at the moment so no use stressing... Right?

[Nahm]

@zoey101 Never any use strewing. You can be free of it while he’s awake, freaking out about the choices he has made. You can be calm. You can breath from your stomach deeply. Yeah, it does suck. But you know what Zoey, this will pass, and something else will suck, then that will pass, and something else will suck, and that will go on until you stop and decide to breath - and say wait a minute, I can choose to look at this differently. I will be ok. It doesn’t have to suck. I can relax and breath. This right here is my life and I’m going to live it. I’m going to grow, not freak out. This is why God gave us breathing, making it impossible to both be alive, and be without. Breath in that peace. This is not hypothetical. 

[zoey101]

Man this is hard but I admire the end goal of it all.

He woke up and was being a prick almost immediately... I tried to hug him to make him stop and he pushed me away and told me that I already ruined the weekend... So I guess I can't do anything... But I didn't get mad... I think he just wants me to stay away from him for now... So be it...

[zoey101]

And then my daughter swoops in and starts giving me kisses all over my face I guess it's not all bad

[RichardY]

Mrk 5:9 And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.

[zoey101]

Isn't that the story of Jesus casting demons out of a girl into swine?

[RichardY]

A man. But, thought it might be appropriate, just an intuitive sense.

[zoey101]

I'm sorry... I'm missing the connection

[RichardY]

I think it refers to the fragmentary nature of personality and Ego. As opposed to the unitary nature of God or the will to Nihlism of a priest. Had a look at the passage. The next story was of a woman faith in Jesus healing her. 

[Faceless]

8 minutes ago, RichardY said:

 

I think it refers to the fragmentary nature of personality and Ego

 

I think your right. Nice?

[zoey101]

I still don't understand... He was possessed and then Jesus cast them out... The demons were separate from the person... They weren't the person himself.. at least that's what I though..

[RichardY]

Might also be different for a man as opposed to a woman, so the story may seem less familiar. As men are often judged more, imho on their feelings. Hence why the guy retired to somewhere out the way. Not sure what an equivalent story would be for a woman, anyway possibly best to not think too much on it.