Will This Lead Anywhere

[Solace]

Ever since I decided to not go to University and achieve spiritual enlightenment I’ve had big doubts. For one it has been 3 months, and I haven’t even touched the subject of life purpose, and I feel like I have a big hole in my heart where it should be. All stages of Maslows heirarchy has many empty spots, including little contact with my friends (isolation), and a lack of learning/being creative like I had at high school.

I always wanted to be like Leo, and pursue enlightenment. My consciousness is higher than it ever has been, and I feel like enlightenment will happen any week or month from my progress. I’ve basically taken the journey to skip all of Maslow’s stages and go straight for self-transcendence, which then I hoped would lead to my life purpose, and the fulfillment of the rest of the needs. I feel like since my practices are so intense that all of my doubts of having no life purpose, and the regret of not taking a University course is just repressed emotions coming up in me. I’m not sure whether this is authentic or from the ego? I’m also on the third day of my urine fast, and I’ve been crying everyday of it at how short life is, how much potential I may have lost by not continuing my education, and how I’ve been hurting the people around me from putting my practices first. It really upset and shook me like nothing has ever before. 

So what I am wondering if my practices will lead to anywhere? Should I keep going hardcore for the rest of this year, in hopes that everything will work out, and that all questions will be answered through higher consciousness, or is this a sign that something major is missing and that I’m on the completely wrong path? If I become enlightened will I naturally find my purpose?

This is what I’ve been doing for the past few days:

4 hours of sungazing

2 hours of the headstand

30 minutes of meditation

Constant focus on my breathe throughout the day

Urine looping (currently on a 14 day fast)

Being grateful for as many things as possible

I feel like my life is coming so empty and meaningless, do I keep going deeper until enlightenment, is this just apart of evolving/a sign of ego death? 

Thank you so much in advance everyone?

Edited April 25, 2018 by Solace

[Amer]

Not going to university doesn't mean its the end of the world. maybe you can utilize your time right now to really figure out what You want to do in life. and then decide, whether to take a university degree or not. Most importantly make your decision aligned with your passions/ values.

The message sounded like there's a feeling of regression just because you didn't go to university. which shouldn't be the case. 

[dude]

I think you should look at your mind state to observe probable future steps. For example when you can't concentrate ever on anything you're doing because you are constantly thinking about the lack of friends you have. Go get some friends! I don't mean if it like comes up once, I mean if your mind is obsessing about it to the point that you can't concentrate fill that gap or you will waste your time on trying to reach enlightenment while your mind is somewhere else. You will never be able to reach it this way.

As for education, do the live purpose course or read some books like: Deep Work, The Talent Code, So Good They Can't Ignore You. Self-education is much more powerful if used correctly.

As for your purpose, idk if you will find your purpose that way. A purpose is created or stumbled upon by sheer luck. It's not like when you are working on enlightenment you can't work on something else. The life purpose course gives you good pointers on creating a purpose instead of waiting to bump into one.

[Solace]

@Amer @dude

Thank you so much for your answers. It turns out what I was doing wasn’t what my heart wanted, and I’ve stopped all of my practices, now using each moment to be the loving parent of my inner child, and letting it decide for me the choices to make on a moment to moment basis into greater depths of love and excitement. I thought there was one ultimate technique to get me enlightened but I was wrong. We came here to love, not push people away, and become isolated in order to “grow ourselves”.

Wish you all the best guys. Sorry for the hassle.  

 

[dude]

Great to hear!

[Erlend K]

Happy to hear you quit that lifestyle. It sounded quite unbalanced and unhealthy.

Why did you decide to dedicate 4 hours a day to sungazing?

[Solace]

@Erlend KI watched a enlightened person on YouTube called MOE, and sun gazing was what helped him awaken. 

Simply, I thought that I had found the most advanced hidden spiritual technique in the world. And with that mindset I went full on in for enlightenement but also to prove my self-worth to my family, and friends by getting to that higher state.

I realized that right now I’m not ready for that technique because it was as you can see grounded in ego, and not in my heart. My heart dosen’t want to sungaze, it would rather read, meditate, connect with people on here and in real life, and just be in the moment. I hope this wisdom can help you guys look into your hearts first before engaging in a practice, cause it knows what’s right, always  Thanks for asking Erlend.

Also, it’s not to say a technique is wrong, just grounded in love. Also looking at yoga they work from the body to the mind then the spirit which is a good framework.

 

[Nahm]

@Solace Me reading this thread.....What the actual Fuck?!?!........................oh ok, good.

I am very happy for you. 

I’m also curious, was the 2 hour head stand done to make the looping easier? ?

[ajasatya]

On 25/04/2018 at 4:16 AM, Solace said:

Will This Lead Anywhere

no. it's already the arrival.