Why do I feel so disconnected?

[zoey101]

Dam.. get home from work today feeling pretty good and ready to try engaging again and I was doing alright for a while. But I started reading something on my phone and my husband gets really upset because he said he called my name like 4 times and I didn't even react... When I looked, my daughter was climbing on our glass TV stand... I didn't see or hear any of it... My husband got mad and took her to his mother's.... Said he would see me tomorrow after work... I sewar I didn't even hear him once... I just looked down at my phone and next thing I knew, I look up and he is furious and yelling about our daughter... What the fuck.... 

And now he took her.. he doesn't trust me with her now? ...what's wrong with me....

[Nahm]

12 hours ago, zoey101 said:

What is wrong with me?

 

Nothing is wrong with you. Every time you go there, you recreate that vibe. Let that go. Mindfully, all day, let that go. 

Got stronger for the hardships. Making a great life for yourself. Things are going well. You’re at a new place, the universe is showing you something in your moments of ease; alone, and singing. Imo, it’s worthwhile to look into that. 

Working, 24/7 momming, and community involvement - that’s a lot.     This sounds impossible, I know, but, get away for a few days, alone, listen to music, sing, write, be in nature, etc.   Zoey stuff.     You turned the life around, now reconnect with Zoey. Wait till you see. It’s awesome.       Alone, you, is where your reconnection will come from, and you’ll feel everyone & everything much more deeply. 

Make a distinction between “not having much free time”...and not adopting a conditioned mindset of ‘not having enough free time’. Now, when things are good, that’s when you have to get away for a little while. So you continue to grow. So your awareness can match your appreciation. 

Is there a tug of war between how you think about yourself ~~~~~ and what, more deeply, you’re becoming aware you’re actually capable of? How happy you could be? 

 

[zoey101]

I don't know... I know who I want to be.. I want to be able to handle this.. I want to engage again... I don't want to feel like everyone around me is out of my reach even when they are standing right in front of me... But it feels like I'm making it a chore... It shouldn't be this hard, right? I don't understand what changed in me... I just want to be myself again...

[Nahm]

@zoey101 Everything changed. That’s why you need to reconnect with Self. 

[Guest Quanty]

Maybe you believe in a higher power outside of your body. 

There you have the answer. Move the attention on yourself fully, not to the family or society. 

[zoey101]

That sounds so selfish though....