Ego Masks and Inconsistent Feedback

[Solace]

I was with my lovely friends today in a natural reserve celebrating a birthday. I felt safe around all of them because I knew that they wouldn't put on another mask if I inconvenienced them. They were honest about how they felt, and they didn't smile when they talked about something that hurt them, as my Mum does to me. When I talk with my Mum she stands their and complains about what happened in that day, she doesn't see the positive, and it's not her fault, that is how her brain has been wired. But the feeling in my heart I got from here was "This isn't authentic", and the word "Actor" kept coming up in my mind. This is because while she was talking about something she didn't like about her day she kept giving me the fakest false smile I have ever seen, but because I only hang out with my friends once every few weeks, this was easy to ignore, and I made the mistake to think that this was normal. It seems there is a a belief in our world that we must smile, and that we must be happy but this is the saddest shit I have experienced. I would rather someone be authentically upset than trying to fake being happy while using words that showed that they are obviously upset.

That is the ego mask which the person who uses this deserves to know they are doing if you have that one in your life, or if you yourself do it. When you are being inauthentic people will feel it in their hearts every single time because our hearts are free from any conditioning, it's just a matter of consciously feeling it while it happens to you. From my own experience all of my close family members are inauthentic like this, while almost everyone who is my age, and trusts me, are genuine (which is the people I want to be with). You can't connect with people on that deeper level either if they wear an ego mask rather than just being themselves. Being yourself is so easy to do around other people who are just being themselves if you notice. 

Then there is inconsistencies. This is when a parent, or loved one has a nice ego mask some of the time, and then changes the ego mask to that of anger, frustration etc. when they are being inconvenienced by you or someone else.  For example, my Mum may wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, hope you had a good sleep" and even though it's such beautiful words, I feel the same sense of "This isn't authentic" as if what is truly being said is "I love you for now, get ready to do some chores for me". This means people can lie through their words, people can lie through their face, but never can they lie to your heart. It is such a subtle thing to connect to, and you would never think to do it, and that is why I am sharing this now because I feel this is one of the most important things I have written. So that is an inconsistency right there between how my Mum truly feels, and how she is expressing herself, which we as children are all brought up in and think that this is how we should behave, to hide our emotions to keep the peace, but this creates so much suffering and disconnect that I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to be brought up in. That is the inconsistency between the true self, and the ego. But there is also another inconsistency, which is that between ego masks. If we look at the words of the ego, my Mum may say to me in the morning "I love you" and then she may say "I hate you" further in the day. This is an inconsistency. Do you love me or do you hate me? How can you even say those two extremes? It really is a clear sign of an unstable relationship when your partner varies between extreme opinions of you (ego masks) in order to serve their agenda. Again the inconsistency between a persons face, and their words (which is an ego mask)  is what creates a feeling of inauthenticity in our hearts, while the inconsistency of a persons opinion of you (you're an angel, you are a monster!) is the changing of ego masks to serve ones agenda which requires the first inconsistency to exist. Both are massive forms of manipulation, and are there mainly for self-preservation (so people don't think badly of me, so that I seem happy all of the time, and ironically, consistent with showing other people that I'm happy when I'm really sad). It's a disease that has spread through all of humanity. And everyone deserves to know this disease of inconsistency to be free from it.

The true mastery of life is to say what you mean, and mean what you say. I talked with a friend today about how she prays every night for God to assist her throughout the day. She almost cried from talking about all of the people who had hurt her, and it was so authentic, and we were so connected that she may of been talking about "depressing" things, but It touched my heart so deeply that I almost cried too. This is what life is about, to not only feel our emotions, but to express our emotions to people from a place of honesty, without trying to please someone.

And the real master can express his/her emotions without blaming anyone for causing them, or anything external or internal for that matter. The true master knows that emotions are not caused by anything, and spontaneously arise in one of the frames of the now moment. In fact there is no cause of anything in the world. A car doesn't drive past you, but you see it that way from the billions of unrelated frames of the now moment that are stitched together like in a movie. We align with these different frames through the frequency we are at, and there are many ways to increase that. Be careful who you are with because they have the power to make you believe that being two-faced is normal. Be around people who mean what they say, or be around no one Look to your family for these inconsistent people, and know this is the true reason why the saying is to spend a week with your family when you think are enlightened. We seem to have a natural tendency to leave unauthentic people such as when you're on a date, and you know something isn't right, but with family members who we are forced to be raised by, we instead become rebellious; projecting our anger onto them for not being themselves.

And then the ultimate irony is, when you start becoming yourself, your family will then rebel against that too because it is too far out of their societal conditioned belief systems to be accepted. So maybe it is best to leave and immerse yourself in a world with people your age, as inauthentic people are strong, and will want you to be like them too so you 'fit in'. When they are inconsistent, this creates a sense of insecurity, you feel ungrounded in reality, unseen, unheard, unloved, it is emotional and mental abuse without them (and sometimes the child/partner) even knowing it. And as Matt Kahn said about abuse, which we are all experiencing most likely from some person, it is something you cut out of yourself, your life, rather than heal in others. Other people are too hard wired most of the time to change their ways, especially after 50 years of doing it. If you say it to them, they will think you are judging them. There may be a chance you can hit home in their hearts, but probably not. The inauthenticity also creates a dense, and draining vibration in the house that I have experienced from being with my friends compared to being at home. So if there is any abuse at home, this is mainly caused by inauthenticity. Cool, huh. Apart from feeling bad from leaving the nest  

Edited April 22, 2018 by Solace

[Ether]

How do you know someone is being authentic or unauthentic?

Just with a guess?

That is not evidence.

[Solace]

@Ether You can feel it in your heart. You feel like something just isn't right when in conversation with a person who has an ego mask on. You'll understand if you spend a few hours with someone who is awakened, and then spend some quality time with someone who is deep in ego. Inauthenticity becomes obvious, but without any reference points it may seem "normal" from your perspective. 

it creates a barrier between you and the other person, at least in my experience. I hope that all barriers of the ego, to feel that it is not ok to share your emotions non-judgementally with another person for fear of deeper intimacy and what shadows it will reveal in themselves that they have suppressed for years, can one day be broken. For us to be the first ones to meet our emotions like a child in pain who just wants our attention, and then to be able to share those authentically with our loved ones without a mask. This is what I'm meaning.

The heart never lies, it is the evidence. It is free from all programming, all cultural beliefs all memories, and childhood traumas. It is our guiding light. For years I have ignored this feeling that arises in me when speaking to other people which makes me think, just how much more I am unaware of, how much more is left to be discovered and realised. 

We are truly a fish in water, and unconditional love is what makes us realise that imo.

Edited April 22, 2018 by Solace

[tsuki]

@SolaceThis post is more directed to myself than to you, as I somewhat agree and disagree with what you've written.
Inauthenticity of other people has been a big struggle for me my entire life until... I understood how to be authentic myself. Suddenly, a whole bunch of unexpected people opened up to me and it was a really humbling experience. There are a few points that I came to understand through my experience:

1. Your perception of inauthenticity is exactly that - a perception.
   The other person is what he/she is. It is you who is being suspicious of their ulterior motive, or self-agenda.
   What is your self-agenda for judging other people?
2. Inconsistency is not a measure of authenticity.
   It is perfectly possible to love and hate a person at the same time. Emotions are not logical sentences and seeming contradictions are within your interpretation of emotions, not in emotions themselves. Emotions are, what they are and they are not bound by your understanding of them, or words that you associate with them.
3. You are every bit as fake as people you perceive as fake, or perhaps even worse.
   You deny your masks. What is the facial expression you make as you evaluate other people's faces? It is a mask of stone. You are being judgmental.
   There is no other person beneath the mask you are facing. This person IS this mask. You are made of such masks yourself, but you are not aware of them. Your default mask is the mask of judgement that is blind to itself. Grow up.

Sorry if that seemed harsh. Like I said - I'm not sharing wisdom, but looking for my ignorance.

[Solace]

@tsuki You're funny. You assume that I wear a mask of judgement. But as I've written previously, how can I judge when my mind is empty of thoughts? All I do is feel instead of think. I'm in a constant meditation.

Thank you so much for sharing this though because our egos always see the faults in themselves the last, and indeed you probably would think that I do judge, for most people would be in this case. I'm just an empty observer, posting what is true for me. Inconsistency is used to describe the gap between the higher self and the ego, not in it's conventional sense. 

Infinite love <3