Crazy holotropic breath report

[TruthSeeker47]

This was my third time for 30 mins and I listened to the same music as always, (Linked below).

It started off normal, I just had to focus on my discipline to make sure I was breathing properly and not slacking. I could also feel my hands and feet filled with something which I think is just blood, this was uncomfortable but still bearable  : 0 - 10 mins

Then I started to fade backwards, Earlier today I went fishing and I remember thinking that the fish must be seeing god when they are above the water because thats how I'm feeling when I'm deprived of oxygen, I just tried to submit to the fact that I was to become the fish and accept my fate of death. (That sounds weird I know but idk how else to explain it) : 10 - 20 mins

I then saw (Not vividly) A massive cloud and a vast space, I thought that this is where my ego will be destroyed and remember feeling very peaceful, just wanting my ego to submit and die so I could be free. It was almost like I was orbiting this massive cloud but I wasn't actually there It was like a thought or memory. 20 - 30 mins

The last bits I remember were feeling that I was really looking forward to getting back to normal so I could feel the euphoria that came after awaking from my last sessions. I opened my eyes as soon as the timer went off but I felt paralyzed. My hand were stuck in place and my feet were in a really weird position like I was having a seizure, after 5 mins of this I begun to panic wondering If I was actually in danger but I tried my best to keep calm and after 10 more minutes I felt comfortable again.

I feel like maybe it would be risky for me to do this again but I think that I saw god and that was really cool.

Have any of you experienced the weird tensions in your body after finishing your exercise?

 

[Knn]

Thanks for report.

This is also music i am listening. Best without ad. My schedule is also 20-30 mins. 

I had  panic attack problems in the past so everything makes me scared. There are tensions in my heart region of the body. I cant tell it is my heart rhtym or fake but it makes me stressed. I constantly tell myself or my ego calm down it is just feeling and those things are not real and they disappear. After experience i feel euphoria i can laugh a tv show like i am a child. But after a day or so something happens what leo call it ego trying to comeback. I been distracted easily. I cant work properly. 

What i decide i should do it once or two in a week and keep going with meditation and concentration work daily. To my perspective 1-1.5 hours personal "spiritual" work is enough. I think ego started to change this spiritual quest to a "pleasure seeking" and makes it useless.

 

 

[TruthSeeker47]

@Knn The ego Is a bitch, that sucks that you had panic attacks, I had something similar a little while ago. I get easily mindfucked and tired when I think about my ego to much so I just try and come into the present whenever I can and hope that I'm making progress

[Mart]

My thumbs get pressed towards my hands and my wrists bend forward really hard, i have to pull with quite a lot of force to straighten them. Apparently this is a muscle spasm from hyperventilating (doesn't seem to be that big of a deal if it's for short duration). Last time i did it for 45 minutes and it also happened with my trapezius muscles. My shoulders where shrugged upwards. Also all the muscles in my face tense up and i can only open my mouth so that there is only a little circle formed by my lips where air can pass through.

I never saw something weird or felt like i was high, only felt the bodily effects. What i did notice is that the days after i do the breathing, i dream about scenarios which trigger an emotion in my that i have suppressed. So what i want out of the practice (emotional healing) i believe i'm getting. I hope the emotions start to surface more and more in the future, i really feel like there is some big stuff suppressed and it has to come out.  

[TruthSeeker47]

1 minute ago, Mart said:

My thumbs get pressed towards my hands and my wrists bend forward really hard, i have to pull with quite a lot of force to straighten them. 

[TruthSeeker47]

@Mart Thats exactly what I was feeling. Im beginning to think that this technique is not so safe though because many people are saying it can be linked to brain damage